Get the Picture..........

This is going to be a shorter entry then the ones that I've recently added to this extract. I haven't staged an Event recently, and I don't expect to hear from Givings, Doyle, or the People Upstairs until after the first of the year.

I don't intend to mention that the pre-Christmas season started before Halloween. I don't intend to mention that the post-Christmas season ended pretty abruptly on the 26th with The Snowstorm that Covered the East Coast.

Nor will I mention that I finally got my car dug out and on the road today - the 30th. Nor will I mention the trouble I had trying to return a pound of Starbucks Holiday Blend Coffee to a Barnes & Noble (actually, 2 Barnes & Nobles).

What I do intend to tell about is something that I've been thinking of doing for a while.......

ADD PICTURES TO THESE POSTINGS.

This is not a New Year's resolution. I don't believe in those. I do, however, have a new phone with a camera option and I think adding pictures is a good way to reinforce the reality of what I've written here.

To prove the point, here is the view from my living room window....

The building in the middle, back is the Adams Towers that I've mentioned in several previous postings.

I hope to have a picture for any new posting, where I think it might be helpful, in the future.

They do say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

Hark, the Herald.................
In the last two weeks, the entries I've made have been personal and have not had any impact on these matters. As I mentioned the last time, I had a biopsy done on the 2nd. I got the results on Friday, the 3rd - no signs of rejection. So far, two years and all is well. Except...they're playing with my tacrolimus level again. I've been for blood work on the 7th and the 14th and I'm scheduled for the 21st. If that's the only thing I have to worry about, it's all good.

There has also been Christmas shopping to do.

Oh, and I'm a Great-uncle (Grand-uncle?). My niece had a baby boy. We went to see them on the 12th. Cute kid. Just eats, sleeps, and - I presume - poops. Definitely one of the family.

Today is Sunday. I go to the 8:00 AM Mass on Sundays. It's not really altruistic. I get up every day around 7:00, do my routine (weight, blood pressure, pulse, temperature), take my pills and get on with my day. Sunday is different. I take my osteoporosis pill on Sunday, first thing. After that, I can't lie down for 45 minutes, and can't take any other pills for an hour. So I go to Mass. I do have a lot to be grateful for.

When I came out, there was Givings standing by my car. When I got within range, I used the remote to unlock the car and she got in on the passenger side. When I got in, I started up the heat - it was cold outside and in.

"This is a surprise." I said. "And you notice that I didn't say 'pleasant'. Are you here to hassle me for not doing anything for the last 2 weeks?"
"No, Mr. O'Neill. I'm not. We understand that it is the Holiday Season, and it has been unusually cold. It must not be easy to find someone out alone."
"To be honest, I haven't been looking. But you're right about the season. I did have some personal stuff to take care of."
"We know. Congratulations on the results of your biopsy, and the birth of your niece's son. Also, I am glad to see that you took care of your brakes."
Letting me know they still have a close watch on me.

"Anyway," She said, "I thought you should know of the progress that has been made since our last meeting."
"Progress? What progress? I didn't know you'd moved forward on anything."
"The People Upstairs liked your suggestion from last time. About fires...? You do remember?"
"Yeah. Of course. Just hold on a minute, OK? It's 9:00. Time for my pills."

She waited while I took them, then I gestured that she should go on.

"Over the last two weeks, we have staged two separate Random Fire Events - one in Perth Amboy and one in Rahway. Do you recall seeing anything in the papers?
 I thought for a minute or two.
"No. No, I don't remember seeing anything."
"Exactly. I believe the one in Perth Amboy was in the News Tribune. You read the Star Ledger, right? The one in Rahway wasn't mentioned at all. The People Upstairs were very impressed."
"Really? What happened? How did you set them up?"
"As I am sure you are aware, DHS consists of many previously independent groups. ICE has agents in many areas where the immigrant population converges."
"Wait. ICE? You mentioned them last time. I mentioned INS, and you said ICE. What's that?"
"Immigration and Customs Enforcement. It sounds tougher then Immigration and Naturalization Service. They are still responsible for seeking out and deporting undocumented immigrants."
"You mean Illegal Aliens."
"Whatever. They identified buildings in both locations that would make good targets, then we sent in an operative to stage the Events. Perth Amboy's was determined by the authorities to be a faulty space heater, and Rahway's was a Christmas tree too close to a heat source. Pretty much as you had predicted."
"Yeah, well, they happen every year, you know."
"Three people died in Perth Amboy and two in Rahway. Additionally, ICE has identified what appears to be five families that are now in custody awaiting extradition. There are a total of 22 family members."

She paused to let that sink in. I'd been watching the rest of the church-goers leave. We were the only ones left, but that would change when the 10:00 crowd started to arrive soon. I had no comment to make. She continued.

"Our agreement was for $1500 per person per Event. A $7500 deposit has been made to your account. The People Upstairs are debating about a monetary value for deportees, but no decision has been reached. Since they have recessed for the Holidays, I don't expect to have a resolution for this until after the First of January. Any questions?"

I looked at her. She sat there, calmly, her hands folded in her lap.
"Why did you come here? Why didn't you call for a meeting?"
She looked at me.
"I knew where you would be. If you hadn't showed up here, I would have called for a meeting, which would have postponed you're hearing this until tomorrow, at the earliest. This made sense."
"Oh. I see....So, what now?"
"Now, Mr. O'Neill, you go back to preparing for your Holidays, and we go back to preparations of our own. I believe that there will be 3 or 4 more Random Fires over the next month and a half."

She opened the door preparing to leave, then turned.

"Merry Christmas, Mr. O'Neill."

She got out, closed the door, and crossed to a black sedan parked across the street.

"Merry Christmas, Miss Givings." I said, even though she couldn't hear me.

I waited till she drove off before I left also.

I Read the News Today..............

I was waiting for this - Givings' call. I heard from her on Wednesday. She wanted to meet Thursday - yesterday - but I couldn't. I had a biopsy scheduled. Being scheduled for 8 AM doesn't mean anything because once you enter a hospital you're on "doctor's time". I got there at 7:20, and was out by 12:30 - biopsy, x-ray, and office visit all in 5 hours. That's enough for one day. I agreed to meet Givings this morning.

Usually, she likes to meet around 9 AM at the Menlo Park Mall. But since I put her off, we agreed on 11. I got there early so I figured that I'd pick the table. I got some decaf and a muffin, picked up the paper, and staked out a table in the back of the Food Court.

The local paper has a funny way of treating personal interest stories that happen in the area. The hopeful, happy ones make the front page with a nice picture. The not-so-hopeful ones get buried. I usually just read the banners, photo captions, and the location line. If it grabs me, maybe I'll read the opening paragraph. Today's paper had the follow up to an article I'd seen a day or so ago. Not a happy ending for the family.

It seems that a week ago Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, a man disappeared while out taking his morning exercise walk. There was a Silver Alert issued. Apparently he was an older guy with a history of heart-related problems. They found him Tuesday, or rather some guy walking his dog found him. He was found down the side of an embankment off Chain-of-Hills Road where it rises over a small stream. The coroner says it looks like a seizure, or heart attack. No signs of violence. No sign of a struggle. No sign of a guy with a Flasher or a bright light. First time I'd seen anything Event-related

Givings showed up and I put away the paper.

"Sorry I didn't get you any coffee. I didn't want it to get cold." I smiled. She got something from the Starbucks, and sat down.
"Mr. O'Neill, I want to apologize for the Adam's Tower situation. It didn't turn out the way I'd projected. In fact, it didn't do anything."
I kept smiling, and shrugged. I didn't think I needed to add anything.
"Anyway, Mr. Smith has informed me that he spoke to you.."
"Wait. Mr. Smith? Is that his name? Is he the guy who called me last week? He's one of the People Upstairs, right?"
"Yes. That's the name I know him by. He is one of the more important members, and the one that I get my instructions from. And Doyle, as well. I mean, he gives Doyle his instructions, too."
"What does he look like?"
"I don't know. I've never met him. I get my instructions via phone conversations and e-mails mostly. When we do meet, he tends to remain in the shadows. I take it that it's a security thing with him. But that's not the reason for this meeting. We need to discuss how to proceed."
"Discuss? You want to discuss proceeding with me? That's interesting. Usually you just have instructions."
"That has changed, at least for now. Mr. Smith feels that you might have some ideas on how to progress with Phase 2."
I sat back, using my coffee to stall a little.
"Let me see if I remember...Phase 2 was supposed to be an attempt to increase the number of victims per Event, correct?"
"Correct." She looked annoyed.
"And the Adam's Tower thing, you know, using Legionnaire's Disease, was supposed to do that only it didn't work, right?"
"Correct, again." Annoyed and a little angry. I let her stew a little, picking up my trash and dumping it in the nearest basket.
"OK. I've actually given this some thought. Do you know what you read a lot about this time of year?"
"The Holidays?..No..No, I don't recall anything specific."
"Fire. You read about fire a lot."
"Fire?"
"Yes. Fire. Caused by faulty wiring and dry Christmas trees, or candles, or space heaters in unheated rooms. There's always reports of tragic fires happening during the Holidays."
I paused and looked at her. She looked sceptical, but interested.
"Go on."
"There has to be any number of overcrowded homes in Perth Amboy, Rahway, Linden, even Edison and Woodbridge. Illegal aliens crowded into poorly ventilated, unheated houses. Any number of potential fire-traps. All you need to do is have someone who fits in - and I certainly wouldn't - go around and "Prime" the chosen sites. Then when a fire starts, an anonymous call to the Fire Department. I'd bet there'd be some loss of life."
"That does sound like it would work, but wouldn't they look suspicious?"
"I don't think so. You spread them out from now through, say, February, and I'd bet they'd only get some local coverage and they'd never be connected. And there may be a side benefit."
I left that idea dangling. She bit right away.
"What side benefit?"
"Since you'd know what was going to happen, you could have INS handy to round up the suddenly homeless. Those without papers get deported. Another reduction to the drain on our resources."
"ICE. They're known as ICE now. Not INS." But she said that distractedly.
"Whatever. It doesn't matter what they call themselves. They're still answerable to DHS, right?"
No answer. She was slowly nodding to herself, weighing the pros and cons. Finally, she pushed back her chair.
"Very interesting, Mr. O'Neill. It has a great deal of potential. Very little exposure on our part, instant results, good upside. I'll have to run this by the People Upstairs, of course, but I'm sure Mr. Smith will like it, and he carries a lot of weight with the rest."

She stood, and looked at me for a minute. Then she stuck out her hand. I shook it.

"Thank you, Mr. O'Neill".
She walked away.

Oh boy.

The Devil You Don't Know.......................

It's been over 2 weeks since the Adams Tower experiment. Two weeks with nothing to show for it. No mention in the news - TV or press, and no activity that I could see from my living room window that might indicate that the plan Givings put into effect actually worked. Two weeks! And all I've gotten is frustrated.

It didn't help that I haven't staged any Events during those weeks. I've been out, but, somehow, I never got around to anything. That, of course, added to my frustration. Until Monday............

The hospital called. They wanted to know if it would be all right to  reschedule my biopsy from today till next Thursday. It seems my cardiologist would be the only one on, and they were trying to lighten the load. I had no problem with it. Then yesterday, I began to feel less tense. Maybe subconsciously I was obsessing over the biopsy and the fact that this would be the 2nd anniversary of my transplant. Maybe there was some anxiety involved. Anxiety added to frustration. I didn't know. I didn't think so, but what did it matter. I couldn't deny that I certainly felt better, looser.

This morning, my emails contained a couple of coupons to local book stores and I decided to check them out. I know I've mentioned that I get most of my books at libraries, but if the coupon is worth it I'm game for a bookstore. Besides, I was feeling better. Since I don't have a printer for my computer, I drove up towards a friends house in Avenel to use theirs.

Driving down Remsen Avenue, I saw some guy out raking his leaves. I could feel the itch coming back, but I drove past. When I got out of the car, I saw an older man coming down Butler, walking slowly. Again, the itch.

I went inside and printed out my coupons.

When I came out, the old man was walking back up Butler away from me. I got in, drove the other way on Butler, Turned on Prospect, went down one block, left for 2 blocks, then a left on Demorest. I had the Flasher out, and the windows down. I should've found the old man at the corner of Butler, but he was no where around. Damn. I kept going on Butler, and slowed at the corner of Remsen. I could see the man raking his leaves over on my left. There was no one else around. I turned.

My windows were still down and the Flasher was still out. I pulled up along his curb.
"Excuse me. I seem to be lost. Can you help me?"
He came over, and I leaned across the seat, checking around for any traffic. No one.

Point, push, Flash. He dropped to the lawn and I drove down Remsen and made the right on to Avenel Street. I was definitely feeling better.

Avenel Street becomes Chain of Hills Road on the other side of St. George Avenue. I like to go this when when I'm heading for Barnes & Nobles. It's a quite, winding road with park-like scenery that just makes me smile. Since it runs parallel (sort of) with Routes 1 and 27, it doesn't get a lot of traffic. Just locals. I came into the middle of an S-shaped section, with a tight curve behind me and another in front. In between, on the passenger side, was some guy out power walking. I slowed. The windows were still down. I couldn't see around either curve. Here it was just me and the power walker. I slowed. The gap narrowed. Point, press, Flash. I sped up a little, but not by much. These curves can be tricky. I rounded the curve and passed a minivan going the other way. By the time I got to Green Street my phone had beeped. Confirm #1.

I was hungry, so I went to the McDonald's just the other side of Menlo Park, along Route 1. I parked, and noticed that there was someone sitting in the a car about 2 spaces over. I took my book and went inside. My phoned beeped again. Confirm #2.

When I came out, I noticed that the person was still in their car. I moved around mine, to the passenger side, and opened that door putting inside the book I had. As I turned, Flasher in hand, I realized that there were 2 people in the car. Oh well. I got in my car and drove back to the mall.

Instead of parking outside of the Barnes & Nobles, I chose to go to the parking facility on the opposite side of the mall. I had a vague idea of maybe finding someone in their car. There was a car in a handicapped spot with its blinkers on, but no one was inside. I parked, entered the mall, and did some window shopping.

When I came out, the car with the blinkers was still there, only now the blinkers were off, the headlights were on, and there was someone inside. I walked to my car, got things ready, and drove back. The handicapped spot was at the end of a row, directly across from the mall proper. There was no one around as I turned parallel to the car. I stopped and got out. Looking around, I saw no one. I heard no one. I walked to the other car. Point, press, Flash. I walked back to my car, got in, and drove away. Man, I was feeling really good.

My phone beeped again. Confirm #3. That would be all she wrote for now.

When I got home, while I was trying to decide how to record the day's Events, someone called. It was the same number Givings and Doyle used, but it wasn't them.
"Mr. O'Neill. I trust you are well?"
I recognized the voice. I'd heard it before. Back in August, with Givings. One of the People Upstairs.
"Yes. I am. Who's this?"
"Sorry. No time for that now. I just wanted to personally acknowledge your activities today. I was beginning to feel that you might be disillusioned after the Adams Tower fiasco."
"No. No. I'm good. I'm just, you know, a little startled to hear from someone other then Givings or Doyle. Is there something I can do for you?"
"There will be, but not right now. Ms. Givings is on leave for a couple of weeks. We thought it best for now. You should hear from her shortly regarding a resumption of  Phase 2. I just wanted to personally touch base with you. Check out how you were and congratulate you on reaching your second anniversary. I trust you will have a good holiday."

With that said, he hung up.

What's that they say about dealing with the devil?

  

Little, Pink Flamingo.................

I spent Thursday through Sunday of last week in Avenel, house-sitting for a friend. I enjoy doing this - it's kind of like a mini-vacation for me. This time I got to experience what the season of Autumn can be like, all within a 4-day span. Thursday was gray and rainy - a damp, chill harbinger of winter. Friday was a glorious, bright, shiny day, though cool. Saturday was down-right cold, with a wind that made it colder and tried to tear what was left of the rust-colored leaves from the trees.. Sunday was almost an exact copy of Saturday but was redeemed by the fact that I was back home in the afternoon.

There is something to be said for being home. Comfortable. Familiar surroundings and routines push away any problems that exist outside my windows. I made some coffee (instant, decaf), turned on the game, and settled back in my recliner with the crossword puzzles from the Sunday papers. And, of course, ..

Givings called. I can't say I wasn't expecting it. It had been almost 3 weeks. She wanted to meet at the Menlo Park Mall (again) so we agreed on the Cafe in the Barnes and Noble store outside the mall.

The day came with blustery, gale force winds and capped itself by intermittent sleet. I got there early, as usual, and looked around inside. There's nothing I like better then browsing through a book store, but I have to admit the I don't like the concept of people lounging around, reading for free whatever book or magazine they decided to pick up, while they nurse a cup of overpriced coffee. But that's just me.

Twenty minutes in, and I got a text from Givings. There was a gas main leak on Route 1 which was affecting traffic on Route 27, and she was going to be at least another half hour. Somehow, I couldn't see Doyle ever being late for a meeting. He'd have been prepared for any eventuality.

I wasn't going to eat here at these prices, so I drove over to the McDonald's on Route 1 just east of the mall. Probably saved myself 5 bucks. As I was finishing, Givings texted that she'd arrived. I lingered over my coffee a little, letting her wait for me. I drove back. and found her at a table near the window, with a muffin and a cup of coffee. She started right in as I sat down.

"Sorry I'm late and I  don't have a lot of time because of this delay, so I'd appreciate it if you'd just listen and hold any questions till I'm done." She paused for my reaction, so I just nodded.
"The last time we met, we spoke about 'Random Tragedies', and how the People Upstairs wanted to try them as a means of increasing the number of people eliminated. I told you that we were waiting on their approval of a particular scenario I planned out that involves the Adams Tower building near you. Remember?"
Again, I nodded.
"Good. Approval has been received, and the plan is a 'Go' for tonight.."
"Tonight?" I held up my hand, surrendering to the fact that I promised not to interrupt.
"Yes. Tonight." She paused. I said nothing. "We have the permits, and the work has already begun, although you'd probably left before they started."

Again, a pause. I just looked perplexed, which wasn't hard.

"What we have planned is a water main leak on Martin Street, at the corner of Rahway Avenue, right near the Tower. A real one. Don't ask how. It started about 9 this morning, and we've already logged the call and have Middlesex Water on the site. They will shut off the water and dig into the ground on both sides of Martin, effectively closing the street. They will stretch out the work until around 8 tonight. We want you to go to the site just after dark, and see the policeman on duty. He will give you a small package and a map of the basement to the Tower. You will  take the package into the basement, place it where the map indicates, then return outside, give the map back to the cop and go home. Any questions?"
I took my time with this. She had rattled through that very quickly, looking at her watch a lot. In hindsight, I was being a little vindictive.

"Well?" She was anxious.
"I don't see the payoff. What kind of results are you looking for?"
"I'll explain that tomorrow, once we can ascertain that the package is in place and functional."
"You can't tell me anything now?"
"No. That's how the People Upstairs want this. They want to know that you can follow directions."
"Anyone could follow that. Anyway, how do I get in? What if I'm seen?"
"We think that the weather will keep people indoors, and it should be dark enough if you wear your black jacket with the hood. The door to the basement will be conveniently open, since the work crew will have to go in to check that the repairs worked."
I started to say something else, but she got up.
"I'm sorry, but I'm behind schedule. Just follow the instructions, and we'll discuss the rest tomorrow. Where would you like to meet?" A concession for her being late?
"Since you like it here, how about the chairs in front of Macy's on the lower level at 9?"
She nodded once, turned, and walked off.

I went back to my car. Just to the left of the drivers side, I found a small, rubber, flamingo that must've been hanging off someones rear view mirror for a while. The string was still attached, and you could see where it had snapped off. How it got here, I didn't know, but I picked it up, got in my car, and tossed it into the glove compartment.

I made it a point to pass Martin Street on my way home. The Water Department was out there, digging away. And the usual cop car was there. (Have you noticed that there's always a cop car around when there's work being done on a street. Why? Do they think we won't see the workers? That we'll run into them?)

...............................................................................................................................................................

It was getting dark by 5:45, so I put on my black, hooded jacket and walked up to Martin Street. The Water guys were busy digging away. As I got closer, I saw the cop notice me, and walk back to his car. When I got there, he handed me a package and an envelop.
"Don't you want to see some ID?"
"Won't be necessary. I'm part of the crew that keeps you under surveillance. Just follow the directions in the envelop. The door in is just over there, on the other side of the dumpster." He went back to doing whatever cops do at work sites like this.

Other then the work crew, there was no one else around. The door was open, and following the map and directions in the envelop, I mad my way to the boiler room in the sub-basement, opened an access panel in some duct work, and inserted the package. Per the instructions, I pulled a tab off the top of the package, closed up the duct, made my way out, and returned the envelop to the cop.

I walked home.

This morning the Water Company crew was gone. Givings was waiting for me, looking more relaxed then she did yesterday. I started the conversation.

"You're looking better today. Everything go OK last night?"
"Yes. Perfectly. You did well."
"What, exactly did I do?"
"You placed the package where it would have the most effect, and according to the technicians, it's operating perfectly."
"Alright, so what does it do?"
"It releases spores of Legionnaire's Disease which will be wafted up through the vents as the heat rises from the boiler, eventually reaching every room in the building."
"Legionnaire's Disease? Isn't that deadly?.... Never mind. Stupid question. What kind of results do you expect? When do you expect them?"
"That's hard to say. We don't control the distribution of heat in the building, that's done through individual thermostats in the apartments. We also don't know the physical condition of the occupants, although a good majority of them are elderly. We just have to wait, and allow for the incubation period to run its course, then monitor the residents." She looked pleased. I wasn't.
"You mean to tell me that the People Upstairs OK'd this plan? It could take days... no... weeks until there's any results. That doesn't sound like the kind of plan they would want. How did you convince them?"
"It wasn't me. Apparently, there is some dissension among the members, but they did agree, finally, to do this." She was getting huffy now. "We will wait, and you will be credited for each resident that falls victim to the illness. In the meantime, you still have the Flasher. Feel free to use it!" She stormed off before I could stop her.

I couldn't believe that The People Upstairs agreed to this.
It doesn't feel right.
It doesn't feel satisfying.
Where was the Instant Gratification we, as Americans, expect?

And, besides, what did I get out of it?

All I got was a little, pink flamingo.

Some Explanations...............

Yesterday was supposed to be rainy, but when I got outside the sun was out. It was a bright, clear day, and warm, the kind of Indian Summery day I hadn't seen in a long time. I felt good. I felt in balance.

Maybe that "in balance" needs some explanation. The one thing transplant recipients and their support staff fear the most is rejection. To prevent that, they're put on anti-rejection medications - which are also classified as immuno-suppressants. I'm on tacrolimus, and it's monitored through periodic blood tests and measured on a numeric scale - the main focus being on the range between 6 and 15. Up around 15, and there's a risk of damage to other organs such as the liver, down around 6 and it's not as effective at preventing rejection. Starting in September, my level bounced back and forth between the two extremes, which required multiple blood tests, and several changes to the dosage. All that is over for now. I am back in balance. I feel good.

I got in the car and headed out on to Rahway Avenue. Up ahead I could see that the light at Freeman Street had turned red so like a lot of other people in my neighborhood I made a quick left on to Martin Terrace (this will let me bypass the light completely). There she was, an older woman heading in my direction. Maybe she came out of Finn Towers, I didn't know. It wasn't important. I looked around. No one.

There was no one else around. No pedestrians, no cars. I had the windows down, and the Flasher on the seat beside me. I had to act quickly, it was a short block. Slowing, I watched her coming on. She was moving diagonally across, probably heading for the sidewalk. We closed the gap. She came up on my driver's side, still in the street. I scanned the area again. Still no one. Point, press, Flash. I sped up quickly and turned the corner onto Ellis Place. Looking in my rear view, there was nothing. No one. Not even a woman crossing the street. I stopped at the sign at Freeman, and made the left. I had some errands to run.

Back in balance and feeling good.

It stayed warm, but the sky did cloud over a few times. I bought some stuff, returned some stuff, and wound up coming back from Edison along Middlesex Avenue (Route 27). I turned right onto Parsonage Road, with the vague thought of going to Roosevelt Park and getting some fresh air and exercise.

I passed through the housing developments, under the train tracks, and came out by the park. There was a woman in a red sweater walking along what I thought was the outside track. I made the right turn onto Oakwood and the next quick right brought me into the park's first parking area. As I drove slowly through I saw parents and their children in the playground, people fishing in the little stream. All thoughts of exercise were gone. My phone chimed. Confirmation Number One.

The road turns in through the retirement home, passed older people on benches, probably watching the younger people in the park and remembering. The road then curves back to Parsonage Road. I could see the woman in the red sweater. She wasn't on a track, but walking along the side of the road at the park's edge, inside the guide rail.

This might get tricky. Parsonage runs uphill, and I could see that side easily, but to my left there's a sharp curve as it dips back under the train tracks. I slowed. My windows were still open. I stopped at the sign. Uphill was clear, and she was getting closer, no one was behind me, but I was unsure of who might pop up from downhill. I was running out of time. She got closer.

I hit the gas, turning quickly onto Parsonage. I took a quick look behind - nothing. Point, press, Flash. I kept going, up to Oakwood again, and stopped at the red light. A couple of cars pulled up behind me. No one was honking horns. No one was yelling. The light turned green, and I made the left and kept going. By the time I'd turned off onto Thornhill, then Gill Lane my phone had chimed again. Confirmation Number Two.

I felt good. I was in balance.

Then Doyle called...................

I was to meet him this morning at Barnes & Noble outside the Menlo Park Mall. I was concerned because his instructions sounded a little "spyish" and besides, he wasn't supposed to be involved with my side of things anymore. Of course, I agreed to meet him.

On the second floor, along the side of the store facing out onto Parsonage Road, there is a gap between the shelves for Fiction and the ones for Graphic Novels. The staff has placed a display of Barnes & Noble Classics here, parallel to the windows. There are 2 chairs between the display and the windows, offering a kind of privacy to anyone sitting there. I picked up a copy of Crime and Punishment and sat down to wait. It wasn't long. Doyle's voice came to me from behind the display.

"Good to see you, Denny. How's it going?"
"What the hell? Are you really gonna hide back there?"
"Sorry. I'm not supposed to be here, but there was something I meant to explain from the last time we met. So just pretend to read your book, and just listen. Don't talk, just nod if I ask anything, OK?"
I nodded.
"Fine. Last time we met - Jeez, must be a month ago, I said it was good that you'd looked a target in the eye. You asked why, and I said I'd explain, but I had to make sure you understood the new changes, so I forgot. With me so far?"
I nodded again, making sure to play my part by turning a page now and then.
"What our Psych people told me was that this was a sign that you'd really bought in to the whole operation. You were now a real part of this. You could target someone, and take them out face to face without any qualms.  These shrinks said that you would have no problems going forward."

He paused. I sat for a while, then, because I thought he might be waiting for it, I nodded.

"You see, I was afraid that the People Upstairs were moving too fast, that you might have second thoughts when they told you what they had planned. I was relieved to see that wasn't gonna happen. I kinda grew fond of you, seeing as how you were my first recruit. I knew you wouldn't let me down."

He said nothing for a few minutes. I turned a few more pages. I probably should have been worried that someone might find us talking like this, but I know Doyle and his precautions pretty well by now.

"OK. Now don't go telling anyone about this little tete-a-tete, OK? I'm not supposed to be here. In fact, I'm in Delaware right now, checking on a possibility. Givings is your handler now. And be careful around her. She was good at taking orders, but I'm not sure how she'll be at giving them, how she'll do setting up this next stage. Watch your back."

He was quiet again. This time for too long. I got up, trying to act casual, and put the book back. I looked around the display case, but Doyle was gone. Figures.

Again, he left me a new set of questions. And a guilty feeling for pretending to read the book in the store. I hate people who do that.

In For a Penny...............

Givings called. This actually happened last week, but it's taken me some time to wrap my head around it. We met at the Menlo Park Mall, outside of Nordstrom's, on the lower level. There are some small cafe tables set up there.

She sat at what one close to the side of the escalators, where there was a semblance of some privacy. She had her back to Nordstrom's and was facing the rest of the mall. I guess she thought I would be coming from that direction, and usually I would considering that Barnes & Noble is in that direction. This time, however, I was running late, so  I parked on the far side and actually came in to her right side. I saw her before she saw me.

She had a haunted look, as if there were something troubling her. She must've felt someone looking as I got nearer, because she turned towards me and lost all expression on her face.

"Mr. O'Neill, please have a seat." All business. "How are you feeling? would you like something to eat or drink?"

She pointed to a small concession stand to the right of Nordstrom's. She had a cup of coffee and a muffin which I guess she'd gotten from there.

"No thanks." I sat. "I'm anxious to get this started. What took so long? I met with Doyle almost 2 weeks ago."
"I know, but this is all my call now. I wanted to make sure you were up to it."
"What do you mean?"
"We monitor your doctor, or didn't Doyle tell you. We knew that your tacrolimus level was elevated, and then you were concerned about you temperature, so we, or rather I, waited until I felt everything was back in sync."
"All right. Thanks, I think. Everything is fine now. Although they don't know what caused the change. Anyway, what's next? Doyle said you were upping the ante."
"Did he explain why?"
"Not really. Just that the People Upstairs were moving forward, wanting to get a 'bigger bang for their buck'."

She lowered her eyes for a minute, picking at her muffin as she gathered her thoughts. She sipped her coffee, then looked up at me.

"That's one way to put it. Lets see, how to explain this?" More coffee, some muffin. "The People Upstairs like the program, but it isn't having a big enough impact. They've decided to approach this problem in two ways - first, they have Doyle setting up similar programs, on a test basis, in neighboring states. How he's going to do this, I don't know. Doyle has moved on, for now. Second is up to me." She paused again, more coffee, but she never took her eyes off me.

I waited her out. I had nothing to say, and no reason to interrupt. I did wish I'd gotten a coffee and something to eat though. I was hungry.

"You read the papers, don't you, Mr. O'Neill? Or at least watch the news on TV?"
"Sure. I like the paper. Why?"
"Recently, we had that mine disaster in Chile. You saw that, of course. How could you miss it. That drew world-wide attention. But how many other disasters happen that are "minor', that don't draw attention outside of their own local area? Do you know?"
I said I didn't.
"Would it surprise you to know that every day, somewhere in the United States - not the rest of the world, just here - somewhere in America there's a local disaster. A fire, an earthquake, an accident, something that only makes the local papers. And in many cases, only for a day or two."
"No. I guess not. I guess random tragedies happen all over."
"Good choice of words, Mr. O'Neill. "Random Tragedies". I like that. I like that because that is what we are going to be testing out."
"What? Are you crazy? I don't understand."
"Easy, Mr. O'Neill. It is really quite simple, as the People Upstairs explained it to me."

"I gotta get some coffee." I got up and went to the concession stand. Anything to calm down. Was I hearing this right? I went back, and sat down. She continued.
"Hear me out, Mr. O'Neill. You've been pretty involved with this program since day one - in fact, you are the program, so far. Let me explain this."
I motioned for her to go on, pretending to sip at my coffee.
"The People Upstairs want to expand on what you've been doing. You see, one at a time, or in your case, three at a time, is a very small impact. They want to increase that, and at the same time, not expose themselves unnecessarily. So they have decided to use these "Random Tragedies" to their own advantage. You have to admit that there is always some loss of life in these events. They believe that they can orchestrate, over a period of time of course, several events in several different areas, that will up the victim count substantially. Do you see?"
I said nothing, at first. I tried to find a flaw in this argument, although I admit I didn't try that hard. It was appalling, yet fascinating at the same time. Finally, I had to respond.
"I get it. I understand what they're saying, but is it possible? Can it be done without being caught?"
"That's where we come in. I have been given the assignment to plan and execute, if you'll pardon the word play, a "Random Tragedy", and they want you to be the one to set it in motion."
"Why me?"
"Because you are already in the field, and we're going to do it here in your back yard, as it were. In fact, we intend to do several, over the next month or two, so we can see if there's any change in how the news media covers them. We're betting that they don't go beyond local."
"What happens then?"
"If the news stays local, we expand to other states. Hopefully, Doyle will have others like you in place. If the News goes national, we stop and reconsider."

She stopped. She was giving me time. She finished her muffin and coffee. I did too.

"Are you in, Mr. O'Neill?"
"You know I am. You wouldn't have told me if you didn't know that I'd do it."
"Of course. Just going through the formalities"
"What happens now?"
"We are finishing preparations for the first target. Once the People Upstairs approve the plan, you will be brought on board. That should take about another week. In the meantime, you still have the Flasher, so feel free to continue using it."
She got up to leave.

"Can I know what, or where, the first target will be?"
"I don't see why not." She walked over to a waste basket and through out her wrappings. She came back. "The first target is the Adam's Towers building a few blocks from your apartment." She walked away.

I knew the building. It was housing for the aged and disabled.

In for a penny...............

ARC 3

Changes......................

This past Saturday, I took the train/bus combo into the Bronx and met up with my brothers. Then we drove up, and spent a few hours with our last surviving aunt. Good people, good talk, good time. Sunday passed uneventfully. Monday, Doyle called.

They knew I had another blood test scheduled for Tuesday - my Tacrolimus level has been fluctuating and I've been back and forth several times - so we agreed to meet this morning in the parking lot of the Rahway Library.

Of course, he was there when I arrived, sitting in one of those dark blue, government-issue sedans.

"Level's up to 16, huh? I wouldn't worry about it. Adjusting your dose should take care of that."
I was stunned at first, but didn't say anything. They tracked me through the implant and always had a way of knowing what was going on. I was surprised that he mentioned it, but I didn't want him to know.

"So, how did the meeting go last week?" I figured I might as well change the subject and jump right in.

He grinned at me. "You have a slow leak in that front tire, you know? I have a can of that inflator stuff in the trunk. You can use that." He got out and walked to the back, opening the trunk. He brought the can back with him. "Here. You know how to use this?"
"Very funny. You know I had AAA come out Monday cause of a flat. How did you know it was a slow leak?"
"Kenny, the kid who answered the call, he's one of us. He did what we told him to." Another not too subtle way of showing me that they  had a very close eye on me.
I set up the inflator, and turned back to him.
"OK. I get it. You keep a close eye on me. I don't really need the reminders."
"I know. Let me ask you something. The last time we met you wound up coming up here afterwards, remember?"
I said I did. I come to this library often.
"Yeah, well, you staged an Event here that time. A Postal worker."
"I know that."
"You stopped. You didn't slow down as you passed his truck, you stopped. Did he see you?"
I started to hedge, but I knew it would be useless.
"He saw me, and I saw him. Looked into his eyes before the Flash went off. What difference does it make?"
"A big difference. Even though it was random, you acknowledged him. It became personal."
"OK. So what?"
"That brings it to the next level. Which is good. It's what we wanted. Though we couldn't predict when you'd get there."
"Why is that important?"
"I'll tell you later. Right now, I need to bring you up to date on the meeting from last week. The People Upstairs are making a move forward and you're gonna be involved."
The inflator was empty. I removed it and threw it in the trunk. "The directions say I need to drive around for a couple of miles so the stuff can coat the interior."
"So we'll discuss this in your car."

We got in, and drove in circles around the parking lot. He continued.

"There are things you need to know about the power structure in the People Upstairs, but I don't have the time now to tell you. What you need to know now is that we're expanding on the original premise. Do you remember what that was?"
"You mean to protect our resources? To reduce the 'drain' on them?"
"Yeah, but we can call a spade a spade now. The original plan called for - as Scrooge put it -a reduction in the surplus population. You were doing that one person at a time, in a random pattern. The People Upstairs want to improve on that."

He paused, gathering his thoughts. I had nothing to say. I couldn't object, because what he said was true.

"There are 2 parts to this," He continued, " The first is that I will be trying to set up similar programs in a few different areas, different states. Of course, finding the right people - people like you, may be difficult. It will also be time consuming. To that end, you'll be dealing with Givings for the foreseeable future."
He looked at me, but I just nodded. No reason to object now. I pulled the car back into a parking spot by his car and turned it off. We didn't get out.

"Givings will be in touch soon. She's narrowing down a range of targets that will give us the biggest bang for the buck."
"What?!?"
"The 2 of you will be carrying out a much larger Event, involving more then 1 target, but it has to be something that's quick, easy, and explainable. That's Givings' job. When she has it picked out, it will be up to you to stage it."
I wanted more information, he couldn't give it to me. He got out of my car.

"Givings will be in touch, sooner rather then later, I think. Meanwhile, you still have the Flasher and are welcome to continue what you've been doing."

He turned to walk away, but stopped short of his car.

"Good luck!"

He got in, and drove away.

So did I.  He forgot to tell me why making it personal was important.

Potential............

Doyle called. We met by the Woodbridge Municipal Building. There's a Memorial to borough residents who died on 9-11 just outside the building, surrounded by some benches. I walked up, since it's fairly close to my place. Nice day our. Doyle was there already.

"Know why I asked you to meet me here?"
"You have something to tell me?"
"No..well, yes..but that's not the only reason. What I'm trying to get at is - why 'here'?"
I gave him the obvious answer. "Saturday was the 9th anniversary of the attack, and you're being sentimental? Frankly, it doesn't work well for you."
"HAH. That's partly it. 9-11 was just Saturday, and it was a tragedy for this country, but do you know why I draw your attention to it?"

I tried to think of some other reason, but drew a blank. I told him so. He just shook his head.

"9-11 created some big changes in how the government looked at it's internal security operations. In short, because of 9-11, the Department of Homeland Security was created, and led, 9 years later, to us standing here discussing it." He actually grinned. It was my turn to shake my head.

Again, I was speechless. He continued.
"To get to the point, the People Upstairs will be meeting next week. They do this every year at this time, and try to lay out the direction our piece of the Department should take in the upcoming year. You are going to be a big part of that discussion."
"You told me about the meeting before. Why meet again?"
"To see how you were doing, and to make sure how important this is. You've done everything they've asked of you. You've actually done better, but you know this."
"I know."
"Well, what you don't know - and I don't have much information on - is what they'll be discussing. How much do you know about the People Upstairs?"
"There are 6 of them, and it takes 4 of them to pass on whatever they are trying to decide on."
"That's pretty much it, but you need to know that they are - or at least were - pretty much split on how to proceed. One faction wants to continue on a small scale, and one wants to escalate. How or why, I don't know. But you need to be ready for whatever happens."

I didn't know what to say. He'd just confused the issue, as far as I was concerned. "You want me to be prepared for something that even you don't know about?"
"Yeah. Put that way, it isn't too helpful, is it? Sorry, but I thought you should just - I don't know - get too comfortable, I guess."
"Thanks for the update. Anything else you can't tell me?"
"Nope. That's it for now. One of us will be in touch after the meeting. Till then, keep up the good work"
He laughed, stood, stared at the Memorial for a bit, then walked away with a look back.

I had nothing to do, so I walked home, got in my car, and decided to visit a few libraries. I headed towards Rahway.

There's a way into the Municipal Complex in Rahway that leads directly to the library. It's off Main Street, and bends around this large sports complex. There was a Post Office truck - actually one of those mini-vans they use - in their back lot. I was in the library for about 15 minutes, but left empty handed. I drove out the same way I'd come in. The Post Office van was still there.

I took out the Flasher, rolled down my window, and approached slowly. No one was around. No other cars passed. The vans window was down, the mail carrier seemed to be sorting through his route. I came up real close, actually coming to a stop. The carrier put down what he was working on and looked at me. I didn't care. Point, press, Flash.

I drove away. The confirm came in as I drove down St. George's Avenue.

Keeping up the good work.

Opportunity, Lost and Found.............

It's been almost 2 weeks since I last heard from Doyle, or anyone that he works with or for. 2 weeks since the unofficial end of Phase 2 - as they called it. It's also the end of August, and almost the unofficial end of the Summer. It got me thinking - everything ends, and what frightens us is that we don't know what happens next. But the end of August means the start of September, the end of Summer means the start of Fall, and the end of Phase 2 means....I'm not sure, but I do know I'll be involved so I'm trying not to worry about it.

When Phase 1 ended back in February, I had no idea of what would happen next, and they even took away the Flasher. Now, I know - one way or another - I'll be involved in whatever happens next, and I still have the new Flasher. I guess you could say that things are looking up.

 Right now I have no assignments, no quotas. I'm freelancing, keeping my hand in. Staying sharp. That doesn't mean that every encounter becomes an Event.

One day last week, I was browsing through the local Barnes and Nobles. Most of the books that interest me - including graphic novels - are on the 2nd floor. They also have chairs, situated at the end of certain rows, facing the windows overlooking the parking lot. As I wandered around, I noticed a man sitting off by himself, in the section overlooking the entrance to the mall. He was alone. There was no one around. I took out the Flasher, and held it down by my leg. I walked slowly around the nearest rack. Still no one. And the angle of the building would keep the flash from being seen from outside. And yet, I didn't do it. I had a feeling that I'd used this scenario before. I didn't want to create any patterns.

Another day, I was in Avenel. Driving down Lord St. towards Denny's. I passed a Woodbridge taxi, and pulled up at the stop sign on Prospect. To my left, there was an old man struggling to put away his garbage cans. There was no one else around. Even the taxi had left. I turned the Flasher over in my hand. I looked at the old man. I drove away. There had been too many Events staged on Prospect recently.

 Later that day, I found myself in the library in Rahway. It's a nice building, and part of the Municipal complex. I was coming down the stairs having finished there, when I noticed a man waiting for the elevator. He was the only one in the lobby. As I came off the staircase, the elevator arrived. I moved closer. The elevator opened. He entered. I had the Flasher in my hand. The elevator closed, and he went up. It was part of the Municipal complex, and I couldn't take the chance of there being cameras around.

This morning, I was in Metuchen and decided to see if I could get to Inman Ave. from Middlesex Ave. I turned left just passed Main St., and headed up. Unfortunately, I hit a cross street and could only go left or right. Since I wasn't sure exactly where I was, I decided to make a u-turn and head back to an area I was more familiar with. As I turned, I saw the man. He was watering his front lawn. I didn't know the street name, but I did know there was no one else around. No people, no cars. I held the Flasher loosely, and lowered the passenger window. I came closer. Still no one. Point, press, Flash. I finished my turn, and went back the way I came. The confirm came 10 minutes later.

Opportunities.

Celebrate..........

Doyle called last night. We met inside the Woodbridge Main Library, in the New Books room because of the chance of rain. There are 2 chairs set off by themselves in the back, and he was seated in one, leaning back, legs stretched out, with his hands behind his head. He sat up as I came in.

"This is purely a social call." He said. "Congratulations!"
"What? Why?"
"Well, your birthday was this past Saturday, right? That's one reason."
"OK. That's true." Doyle always makes me suspicious. "You said 'one', are there other reasons?"
"Come on, Denny . . don't you know what today is?"
I thought about it for a bit, but couldn't come up with anything.
"Other then my nephew's birthday, I can't think of a thing. And I can't see what you'd have to do with my nephew."
He laughed. I think it was a laugh.
"No. We don't have any interest in your nephew. Today is your Anniversary."
"What? What Anniversary?"
"It's been a year since you agreed to help us out with the project. So, Happy Anniversary!"
I took the time to look around the room. There was no one else here. That would be strange except for the fact that Doyle was here. I'm sure he made some kind of arrangement.

"As I recall, I didn't actually agree. You threatened my daughter. I didn't have much of a choice."
"Lets not quibble about it, Denny. Whatever the reasons, it's been a year, and you should know we're very happy with the results. In fact, I understand that one of the People Upstairs spoke to you after that triple you pulled off."
"According to Givings, you arranged that call, so don't play innocent with me."
"OK. True. But that doesn't change things. You've done well this year. Very well. Better then expected, in fact."
"Givings told me the same thing. Do you have anything new to add?"
"Just my congratulations. And something to think about. The People Upstairs like you. They are impressed - as I think has been said before - with how you've handled yourself."
"I've heard that."
"Yeah, well, as of now Phase 2 is unofficially over. You can continue with Random Events if you choose, until around mid-September, but the People Upstairs don't need any other proof."
"Proof of what?"
"Your abilities. The only thing open now is how to proceed. The People Upstairs are divided over how to proceed, which of 2 directions hey should follow. But they're on vacation now, and won't be meeting again until the 15th of September. There's some behind the scenes stuff going on, but I'm not involved, so I don't know what's happening."
"Can you tell me anything about either direction?"
"Nope. But you do play a prominent part in both, so I wouldn't worry about you future. In the short term, anyway."
"What do you mean, short term?"

He got up, stretched, and smiled again.
"Happy Anniversary, Denny."

He turned and walked away. I waited until people started coming in, then left.

Curiouser and Curiouser.....

Not unexpectedly, I got a call last night. Givings instead of Doyle, but that was becoming more common. On my way there, I had a couple of interesting encounters.

I was up early, as usual, so I drove up Rahway to Avenel, intending to go the longer, less traveled route to the Menlo Park Mall. On Avenel, I stopped at a Krauser's to get a couple of lottery tickets. Parking, I noticed that there was a man apparently sleeping in his car about 8 spaces to my right. He was alone, and his window was rolled down. Since it was early, there were very few people around. I could've very easily waited till there was no one and used the Flasher, but it hadn't been 24 hours and I wasn't sure if it would work. I was, however, in a good mood as I continued.

I got to the Mall about a half-hour early so I went out to the Barnes & Nobles to kill some time. They've changed their store layout a little, and the door closest to the Mall proper is now an emergency exit so you can't go in or out that way. When I left the store through the front doors, I turned back to the Mall entrance. No one was around except for one of the Mall workers, polishing some of the marble fronting. He was bent over, in a corner, out of sight from anyone in the parking lot. A perfect second Event, if  I were ready for it. I entered the Mall, and went up to the Food Court.

Givings had chosen a table in the center, in an area were the tables were interspersed with shrubs and trees, providing some privacy to anyone who wanted it. She already had her Starbucks coffee and muffin.

"Nothing for me?"
"You didn't want anything the last time, so I didn't have anything to go on. I can wait until you get something."
"No thanks. I'd rather get this over with. I presume this has to do with yesterday's 'triple play'?"
"The People Upstairs were impressed, and wanted to know the reasons behind it. You know, . . the reasons why you chose each Event, and why you staged 3 in one day."

I knew what she meant. I laid it out for her as simply as possible. From coming across J by accident, to the coincidence of number 2, and the intentional hunt for number 3 to test the Flasher's limit. She sat there nibbling on her muffin and sipping her coffee, and let me tell the whole thing. When I'd finished, she said..

"That actually makes sense of the information we got from the trackers who've been following the implant you have. I need to report this so I have to ask, is that everything? Besides the coincidence of your coming across this J person, were there any other personal reasons for the other 2 Events?"
"None. Didn't know either one of them. Number 2 was an opportunity I couldn't pass up, and I admit I went hunting for 3. But I really didn't know them."
"OK. I believe you." She stood, taking out a cell phone. "I have to call this in right away. I'll be right back."

She stepped away, and turned her back. I could see her, but not hear her. Too bad I couldn't see her face, or that I didn't know anything about body language. After what felt like 15 minutes, she came back and held out the phone.

"He wants to talk to you."

I expected it to be Doyle. It wasn't. It was an older, slightly accented voice I didn't recognize.

"Mr. O'Neill it is a pleasure to speak to you."
"Thanks, I think. Who is this?"
"That doesn't matter. We were curious about your actions yesterday, so we asked Ms. Givings to speak to you. Her report has convinced us, well, me anyway, that you are exactly the type of person we want on this project. Your completing the first phase surprised us, and your handling of the Forrest Event pleased us greatly. Yesterday, you outdid yourself, testing the limits of the Flasher while taking advantage of certain situations was most impressive. We've authorized an increase to $1,500 per Event starting with yesterdays tally."
"Thank you. That's very generous. But I was wondering..."
"Please don't think me rude, Mr. O'Neill, but I'm pressed for time. There are things my colleagues and I hope to accomplish, but we must convince the others that they are worthwhile. Take care of yourself, Mr. O'Neill." He hung up. I held the phone out to Givings.

"Who was that?"
"I don't know. One of the People Upstairs. He wanted to know the particulars about yesterday, so Doyle arranged for this single-use phone and the connection."
"So I get a raise, but no idea what happens going forward."
"Pretty much. Just keep doing the Random Events thing until the People Upstairs make some decisions." She stood, wrapping up what she had left, and stood quietly for a minute or two.
"I don't know what's going to happen going forward. Really, I don't. Whatever it is, you seem to be involved. Take care of yourself, and try not to let them use you. They're good at that."

Before I could reply, she turned and walked away.

I sat for a while but thinking was getting me no where. Anyway, I was getting hungry. Time for a late breakfast.

The Three Men I Admire Most.....

The heat has been atrocious these last few weeks. In fact, we missed the all-time hottest July by .2 of a degree (on average). These last few days I've been lucky, house-sitting in Avenel again. With the front and back doors open, there's a very enjoyable cross-breeze thorough the living room.

Today was to be my last day there, and normally I'd have packed up early and taken everything I'd brought with me back to my place. I was hungry, so instead I decided to go to the local McDonald's first, then pack up afterwards. I got in my car and drove down Butler intending to turn left on Prospect. As I got to the corner, I thought I recognized the guy who was crossing Butler down a little from me. I turned on to Prospect, pulled to the corner, and took a closer look.

I was right, I knew him. It was J. I puller out, went to the next corner, then 3 right turns put me back on Butler below Prospect. 

(J used to live across the hall from me, until he, his wife, and their son moved about 3 weeks ago. I didn't really know them, but what I did know was that he was on some kind of drug for a mental problem, and he had a drinking problem. These led to him being verbally abusive to his wife, which I heard on many occasions out in the hallway or outside my bedroom window - at any hour of the day or night. He didn't work that I could see, and what money he did come into went, most times, for beer. I didn't like him.)

I now turned left on Prospect, looking for him, and checking the area. He was just up ahead on the right, and I saw no one else about. I passed him, and made a u-turn when I reached Leesville. I now faced down Prospect, and J would be on the left, the driver's side. I took out the Flasher, and moved slowly forward. My windows were down. I kept looking around, using my mirrors, but could see no one out, and no cars were coming in either direction. He continued to move up the block,and I down, until we were next to each other.

He looked up, right at me. He may have even recognized me. I didn't care. I lifted the Flasher. Point, press, Flash, and I picked up a little speed moving down the block. I didn't bother to look back.

I continued my original attempt to go to McDonald's. I followed Prospect down, and across Avenel Street. As I passed Lord, my eye was caught by some movement on the porch of a house just off the corner on my left. To my right was a park, and looking around, there was no visible activity in the area.

I remembered that Doyle had told me that this Flasher could be used up to 3 times within a 24-hour period.

I made another u-turn at the next corner, and headed back toward Lord slowly. There's a stop sign on that corner. As I pulled up, I could see a man sitting on the porch, reading something. My windows were still open. I stopped, taking the Flasher out. No one around. No cars moving. Point, press, Flash. I drove back toward Avenel Street, and turned left. My phone beeped. Confirm 1.

 McDonald's was going to have to wait. I was going hunting for the 3rd Event.

Across St. George's Avenue, Avenel becomes Chain of Hills Road. Strange name. I took this and bore right onto New Dover Rd.. I then made a left on to Fairview, and headed for Merrill Park. I'd gone there a few times before, and always thought I might find an easy target there. My phone beeped. Confirm 2.

I drove into the park, keeping my eyes open for anything. I drove around to the far side, to a parking lot I knew of. It usually was only used when the local high schools used the ball park nearby. As I pulled in, I saw several transit workers over by the fence separating the park from the train tracks. I don't know what they were there for, but they didn't appear to be doing anything. I parked in the lot, the only other car being a minivan to the far left. Looking around, I noticed one of the transit workers sitting on e bench just to the right of the lot. He was alone. Just sitting there, with his head lowered, a lunch box in his lap. He looked to be napping.

I started the car, the Flasher by my side. I drove to the right, and as I turned around inside the lot, I came abreast of the transit worker. The joggers, walkers, and other transit workers went about their business. No one was interested in me, or what I was doing. The sun was bright, and my car would block most of the flash. I took the chance.

Point, press, Flash. I finished my turn, heading for the exit from the lot. I drove out, slowly, through the park. No one paid me any attention. I made the turn on to Overlook which took me back to New Dover, then Chain of Hills, the St. George's.

I headed for McDonald's. "American Pie" came on the radio. My phone beeped. Confirm 3.

Summertime, and the Living.....

I didn't get a chance to make an entry yesterday. We're in the middle of another heat wave (the third or fourth so far this month), and when I got home it was so hot, and Doyle called. I decided to wait and see what he had to say. This, then, might be considered a double-feature.

ONE: I was out yesterday morning, as usual. It was cooler then it has been, so I wanted to take advantage of it. After all, the humidity was due to come back strong. I'd had a good breakfast at the IHOP on Parsonage Road across from the Menlo Park Mall and decided to walk around in the mall for a while. I got bored pretty quickly.

I then drove to Metuchen to check out the library. Nothing new there, and still a little early. I took the long way around to the Inman Avenue branch of the Woodbridge Library, and intended to go from there to Rahway. The library was open, and their air conditioner was fixed so I spent a few minutes there. On my way back to the parking lot and my car, I noticed that there was a man, across the street, sitting on his front steps, painting the iron  hand railings. There was no one around.

I took out the Flasher, got into my car, rolled down the windows, and sat there a while. It was quiet. No people, no cars. Just me and the painter. I would be making a right turn to leave the parking lot, then a right onto Inman Avenue in order to get to Rahway. The painter would be on my left, the driver's side. I pulled out of the lot, made the turn, scanned the area, then ... point, press, Flash. I was at the corner making the right.

I was almost to Rahway when my cell went off. Confirmed.

TWO: Like I said, Doyle called yesterday. He picked me up in front of my place, and we drove around in his air conditioned car - definitely government issue. He looked rested - better then I'd seen him last.

"Getting some use out of the Flasher, I see."
"Trying to stay in practice. Anything new?"
"Yes and no. The 'no' first. 'No' they haven't come to an agreement on which politician to set you on, which brings us to the 'yes'. They have decided to scrap the whole of Phase 2. In fact, they've decided to postpone everything until September."
"What does that mean for me?"
"Well, Business as usual. You keep on doing exactly what you've been doing. Random Events. Until they sit down in September and come up with a whole new agenda."
"What makes you think that? That there'll be a new agenda?"
"Some things have been said by some of the People Upstairs. Not promises exactly, but I think you'll be pleased. They were happy with the Forrest Event, after all."
"You keep telling me that - you and Givings - but I don't understand what that leads up to."
"Sorry, but I can't say anything else right now. I don't have enough details. But I think it'll work out for you. By the way, we told you that the new Flasher you have is good for 3 tries before recharging. That's 3 tries within a 24 hour time period. If you keep stretching you Events out like you have, it'll just keep recharging between uses and you could probably do 1 a day indefinitely."
"Oh, I see. I meant to ask about that." I paused, but couldn't think of anything else to question. "So I just keep on doing random Events until you tell me otherwise?"
"That's about it." We were back in front of my place. "Is there any place I can drop you? Or is this good enough?"
"This'll be fine."

I got out of the car, and he drove away. It was going to be the hottest day of the year, so far. I was going to stay in.

YES.........

It's been 2 weeks since I got my "marching orders" - the change to how I should be pursuing Phase 2. A lot has happened, but none of it applicable to my task at hand.

Firstly, we've been suffering through a series of Heat Waves since July 2nd and the long Holiday Weekend for the 4th of July. Out of the 16 days so far this month, I understand that 10 of them have been above 90. Records have been set all over the tri-state area. This leads into...

Secondly, in this heat, no one goes out. I thought that finding people during the winter months was tough, but it's almost impossible to find one single person, alone, in this heat. We seem to crowd together at beaches, or jam together in car caravans to get there, or we don't leave the air-conditioned comfort of our own houses. I don't think I've seen even 1 single jogger. It's as if subconsciously we need to have someone with us in case we succumb to heat prostration. Which leads to....

Thirdly, I had a bout of dehydration, which kept me home for several days and necessitated a quick trip to the hospital for blood work and an Echo-cardiogram. Everything was fine, but I need to drink a lot more then I feel like. (Also, I had a biopsy scheduled for this week, and although I haven't gotten any of the results, I assume that no news is good news.)

So every morning I went out, usually with some errand or other to do, and although I wasn't "hunting" I did have my eyes open for any opportunity. No luck, until this morning..

I try to have a plan each day. What to do, where to go, and how to get there. This morning, I stopped for gas on Rahway Avenue, went to the Post Office there to mail some bills, and stopped at the Avenel Pathmark  on St. George's Avenue to see if they had a couple of things. They didn't.

On my way out of the store, I realized that I'd parked a little further to the right then I'd supposed. I turned in that direction, and noticed that halfway to my car, someone was sitting in theirs. I looked around. No one. I thought I felt my heart rate go up.

I took the Flasher from my back pocket, and held it by my side. I kept walking. Closer. I kept looking around. No one. She sat in the passenger seat, with the window rolled down. It looked like she was reading something.

Closer. Closer. Still no one. I lift the Flasher. Point, press, flash. I keep walking, putting the Flasher back and taking out my keys. I don't look back. No one calls out. It seems unnaturally quiet.

I get in my car, start it up, and drive past hers. She sits, slumped in the seat as if still reading. I drive on. The confirm comes in about 20 minutes. I spend the next several hours visiting libraries in Edison, Metuchen, Woodbridge, and Rahway. I get nothing. I see no one else. I don't care.

I'm back.

Back to Basics......

It's been 2 weeks since Givings met me, and filled me in on what was happening. As far as I know, the People Upstairs are still trying to figure out how to proceed. Since I wasn't moving forward, I've been enjoying my private life. There was an Engagement Party, a child's birthday, and Father's Day - which all kept me occupied for several weekends. But those are over now, and I'm faced with a lot of free time that I'm not really sure what to do with. That is, until yesterday when...
Doyle called.

We agreed to meet again by the Veteran's Memorial outside of the Main Library in Woodbridge. I drove this time, and saw him sitting on one of the benches as I walked over from the parking lot - his arms across the back and his face turned up towards the sun. Surprising. He was wearing a yellow, short-sleeved golf shirt over tan slacks - totally out of character with the button-down, suit wearer I was used to. As I got nearer, I saw that he was wearing loafers with no socks. He'd gone casual on me. But, I could also see that his face was different. He was paler then I remembered, and his flesh was slack, like he'd been sick, or lost weight.

Without moving, he said, "Nice day. Pull up a seat."

"Nice outfit."
"Thanks. I'm on vacation, or will be after we finish here."
"Couldn't Givings tell me whatever it is you want me to know? She did last time."
"Yeah, she could. But I wanted to, and after "torturing" me with 3 weeks of useless arguing, trapped in a windowless room with 6 fanatics, I deserve time off, and you deserve to know something concrete."
"Oh? Tell me."
He sat up a little straighter, and rolled his shoulders as if trying to work out some kinks.
"Here's the deal. Givings told you that the People Upstairs were very impressed with the Forrest Event, especially with how you took advantage of the situation. Very impressed. Me too. Anyway, she also told you that the second target hasn't been established. They want you to do a politician, but they can't agree on one. Apparently, the political situation in New Jersey is too volatile to meddle with right now."
"What, no one corrupt enough to take out - or not corrupt enough?"
"Not the point. They can't agree. End of discussion."
"So what happens now?"
"I'm coming to that." He stood. "Man, being locked in like that really got to me." He stretched. "I'm more of an outside kinda guy. I need to get back in shape. I look pasty and I feel bloated."
"I noticed. The pasty face, anyway. Bloating is beyond my observational skills."

He laughed, and sat back down.
"OK. Here's the deal. Givings told you that Phase 2 is on hold until they can make a decision, right? Well that's not gonna happen any time soon. besides the problem they have with deciding who to target, there are outside situations that have some demands on some of their time over the next month or so."
"What kind of demands could be more important?"
"Don't know. Don't want to know. Personal stuff, I guess, for a few of them. Whatever. The bottom line is that there won't be a continuation of Phase 2 until late August, at the earliest. I didn't think that would be a good use of your time."
"I'm flattered. What do you think I should be doing?" Since I didn't know what to do with myself, I was genuinely interested.

"You've got the new Flasher. I convinced them that you should use it."
"How? I mean, under what circumstances?"
"Back to basics. Random Events, like you did in Phase 1, only this time it'll be for real. And since the Flasher can be used up to 3 times before recharging, you may be able to stage 2 Events on the same day. What do you think?"
"Actually, it sounds pretty good. I can do that. Will I still be monitored?"
"Of course. And all the other guarantees will be in place in case you get caught, etc. Oh, and you should try to space out the Events geographically if you do more then 1 a day. You stay in practice and the Project moves forward - it's a win/win."
"All right. I can do that. Is there a number I need to stage?"
"Nope. That's the beauty of this. You're completely in charge. We're upping the price to $1,500 an Event, but the only limitation on you is the recharge time on the Flasher. You in?"
I didn't have to think about it.
"I'm in."
"Good." He stood. "I'm out of here. Givings will be in touch over the next few weeks, if necessary. Next time you see me, I'll be "Back in the Black", as we say at the office."

He chucked to himself, and walked away.
Now I had something to do for the Summer. And I knew that the People Upstairs are "6 fanatics". Knowledge is power.

Well, Well, Well ....
I hadn't heard anything since the Event last week, and I've been quietly making myself nuts by constantly checking my emails for the name of the next target. That stopped yesterday when I got a text message from "James" to meet this morning behind the Starbucks stand in the Food Court at the Menlo Park Mall at 9:00 AM. When I got there about a quarter to, there was no Doyle so I grabbed a table to wait for him.

"What? No coffee?" I looked up, and it was Givings.
"What? No Doyle?" She sat down across from me.
"Nope. He's all tied up in meetings with the People Upstairs. Which is why I'm here. The meetings I mean. They have to do with you."
"Oh? How? Haven't I been doing what they want?"
"Actually, you've turned out better then they expected. Let me get some coffee and I'll explain. Want anything?"
I shook my head "no" and she went to the Starbucks stand. It's bad enough that they charge so much for coffee, but she had to stand in line, too. It took about 20 minutes, but she was finally back with a coffee, and a muffin that probably cost $5. I was drumming my fingers on the table while she set herself up. Finally, she said,

"OK. Here's the deal. We told you - when we started Phase 2 a couple of months ago - that the People Upstairs were very impressed with how you handled Phase 1, remember?"
"Yeah. I remember. And Phase 2 is another 6 months, with only 3 Events. But we just pissed away a week, and I still don't know who the next Event involves."
"Patience..patience...all will be made clear in a few minutes." She drank some coffee, and ate some muffin. I tried to slow my breathing down. "Your efforts on the Dr. Forrest Event, putting aside the fact that you initially dragged your feet, also impressed them. In fact, they liked that you were planning something out involving the garage, but instead took advantage of an opportune situation to carry out the assignment."

I didn't bother to ask how they knew what I was planning.  I knew they had me watched, and the implant made following my movements extremely easy. I asked, instead,
"OK. So what do they want now? Why the delay?"
"There's no real delay, actually, since they are changing the rules slightly. The target they originally had for you is no longer viable. They've had Doyle in with them for the last week trying to decide on who the new one should be. Since the delay is on their part, they've decided to alter the time frame. Now you will be given 2 months in which to stage the next Event, starting from when they send you the name. After that, it will probably be another 2 months for the 3rd Event in the Phase, again starting from when they identify the  chosen target for you. understand?"
"Yeah. It's not that hard, but why the change?"
"They liked the way you thought on your feet, so I get the feeling that they are trying to pick a target that will be a little more challenging."
"So when, or how, do I get the name?"
"I don't know, so keep checking your emails. But once a day is sufficient. When they send it, it will be between 1 and 2 in the afternoon. That's what they said. Also, they are aware of your upcoming biopsy so they wanted me to assure you that if you need some time "off" due to a medical situation, they will place the Phase on hold until you can resume the effort."
"What do you mean by medical situation?"
"If it should become necessary for you to be hospitalized for observation, lets say, then - simply put - the clock will stop ticking until you're back in the game."
"That's real big of them." Sarcasm is lost on Givings. "Do they know something I don't?"
"No. But they are aware that you are only on one anti-rejection medicine as opposed to the usual two. They just wanted you to know that they are willing to be flexible since the Events are not time-specific."

She paused, finishing her coffee and muffin. I tried to think of something to say, but there was too much to get my mind around for a quick response. She stood.

"You'll hear from us, I believe, shortly. Most probably within the next week. Meantime, if I were you, I'd relax and enjoy the rest. Who knows when you'll get another."

With that, she turned and walked away, dropping her empty coffee cup and muffin wrapper in a receptacle, and taking the escalator to the ground floor.

I sat for a while, and thought about getting some coffee from the Burger King on the other side of the Food Court.

Serendipity, Who'd Have Thought....

Last Friday, my cardiologists office called. My next biopsy has been scheduled for July 14th at 8:30 AM, and they'd like for me to make a change to my meds. The level of the anti-rejection drug I take has been slightly high since my last biopsy in March and they wanted me to lower it. Starting that day, my dosage went from 2 mgs. twice a day, to 1 and 1/2 mgs. They also wanted some new blood tests, so they were going to mail me the scrip and I was to let them know when I went.

I held off going to stake out the hospital until I got the scrip, which came in yesterday. I went down this morning. As usual, I drove to Woodbridge Center and took the bus. The out-patient testing facility is in the Annex, on the 3rd floor. I signed in, showed my paperwork, and in under an hour, I was done. Since my cardiologists office is on the 6th floor, I decided to go up and let them know I'd had the blood drawn rather then call.

The upper floors of the Annex are laid out in the same manner. The elevator banks are on the extreme left-hand side, facing each other. There is a short hallway, with sets of doctor's offices branching off on either side. The hallway ends in a small waiting area, with 2 rest rooms, Men's and Ladies.

I got off on the 6th floor, and turned down the hall towards the cardiologists. Guess who came out of the door at that same time . . .

Dr. Grace  Forrest.

She didn't acknowledge me in any way as I continued toward her. She turned to her left, and the rest rooms. I followed. There was no one else in the hall. I assumed there had been a camera in the elevator. I looked around but saw no cameras in the hall.

I took out the Flasher as she opened the door to the Ladies room. She entered. Point, press, flash, and the door closed slowly as she sank to the floor. I entered the cardiologists office, and left word at the receptionists that I'd just had the blood work done. Back out to the elevators, down to the 1st floor, and out of the building.

I caught the next bus back to Woodbridge. While I was on it, my cell phone went off. A text message from James....

                                            ONE.

All that time trying to find a way to set up the Event in the garage, and I just walk right in to it.

Serendipity.

Trial Run, Take Two.....

I've spent 4 more days "AT" the hospital, alternating buses to and from, and varying where I stake myself out. These 4 days straddled the 3-day Memorial Day Weekend so I may need a few more days to complete my observations. What I have learned so far, however, is interesting.

I spent these days in and around the Annex and its near-by garage. I'd start the day in the cafeteria, then move to the lobby, or sit outside for a while - they have some benches set up out there. Or I'd take some time and wander through the garage, familiarizing myself with as much as possible of the 6 story structure with roof-top parking. Here's a few things I've learned:

1. No matter where I was sitting - the lobby, the cafeteria, or even the 5th floor which is where my cardiologist's office is - no one paid attention to me. It seems that the hospital staff only notices someone if they are looking for someone specifically, or they're hunting for an empty seat at a table they can eat at.

2. The concept of "security" doesn't seem to apply to the Annex or the garage. I know there are security guards in the hospital - I saw enough of them when I was there - but I've yet to see any in the Annex or garage.

3. The garage appears to be used by day trippers, and long-term parking. Dr. Forrest's car was easy enough to find, and it's always in  the same parking space on the second floor.

4. There is only one way from the Annex to the garage. Out the front door, across the street, and in, where the stairs going up are immediately to the left and the elevator is just a few feet further on.

There are a few more things to figure out. Where are the cameras in the garage, and how to get around them being the most important. But I now know it's just a matter of time.

I know where and how, I just need to figure out when.

Trial Run, Take One . .

Meeting with Doyle made me realize how pressing my situation was. I hadn't done anything, and They knew it. They were keeping tabs on my through the implant and there was nothing I could do about that, except make an effort. Show them I was doing something.

I went to the hospital twice that week. Tuesday and Thursday. I took the number 810 bus from Wooodbridge Center on Tuesday, and the number 815 from Amboy Avenue and Main Street on Thursday. I figured that by mixing it up, I wouldn't be easily remembered if something happened, went wrong.

I had to be careful at the hospital. There were a lot of people - doctors, nurses, orderlies, etc. - who would recognize me. I tried to stay away from areas where they might be, but I did need to find Dr. Forrest and she, naturally, would be in those same areas.

Tuesday, I started on the 6th Floor of the Tower, where cardio-surgery patients are kept. I thought I'd know a lot of the staff since I'd spent weeks here, but it has been a year and a half, and they must've had some shift changes or turnovers. I recognized a couple of people, but they paid me no attention. I found Dr. Forrest's office alright, exactly where it was before, but she wasn't there, and it's not private anyway. Staff from the Transplant use it when they're on the floor. Bottom line, the floor is too crowded, with too much going on, to afford me the luxury of a simple Flash.

I went down to the Second Floor, where the Cath Lab is located. This is where the "simple" cardio-surgeries take place - pacemaker adjustments, biopsies, etc. You can't get in without someone buzzing you in, so there was no way I could check it out. Sitting in the waiting area would just be inviting recognition, so I went home.

Thursday, I went back and started in the  hospital cafeteria. This is on the Second Floor, near the Cath Lab, and almost everyone in the hospital - staff and visitors - shows up there at one time or another. I thought I could wait there for Forrest to show up, then follow her, but I got nervous after about an hour worried that someone might ask me why I was there. Paranoia, I know, but what're you gonna do? I went to the Annex.

This is a separate building, but connected to the hospital by a walkway running from the hospital first floor, to the Annex's third (because of how the OR and underground parking at the hospital are situated). I figured on staking  out the cafeteria here, on the Third Floor, and watch the people going to the elevators. I actually did see Dr. Forrest. She came in for coffee while I was there. I even said "Hello", but she just nodded, as if she didn't know me. I was tempted to follow her out, but to what end? No matter where we went, there were just too many people around. This was not going to be easy.

On my way home, I got a text message from "James". It read..."Go back and read the bio. Remember its "AT the hospital, not IN the hospital".

 I did that today. At first, there was nothing I hadn't seen. Stuff I didn't need, stuff I knew already. Where she went to school, where she lived, where she worked, and - then - what kind of car she drove, and where she parked it. A silver, four-door, Honda Civic with MD plates in a parking facility across from the Annex.

Something new has been added.

Turning the Screws.......

I've been stalling. I opened the e-mail from "James" back on the 30th and haven't done anything with the information. The People Upstairs provided me with a lot of personal and biographical information on Dr. Forrest, but I couldn't see how I could use it. Knowing what schools she'd gone to, and where she'd interned, did her residency, etc., doesn't help me at all. Giving me her address was nice, but I didn't know where the town was - probably the far side of the state in an area where my beater would stick out like a sore thumb.

I already know where she works.

In the back of my mind, I knew I should be doing something, but 3 Events in 6 months means 2 months for each, so I haven't been in a rush. I admit, I got involved in some family stuff - which has nothing to do with any of this - and I let things slide. Until now....

Doyle called.

We met this morning at the Woodbridge Memorial Park, alternating marble slabs and benches in a semi-circular area outside of the Public Health Center between the Main Library and the High School. As I walked across the grass I could see him on one of the benches, his back to me.

"No car?" He asked, as I came up to him.
"No. I decided to walk. It's not too hot and I could use the exercise. No Givings?"
"Nah. She's in charge of the Watchers for a week or so."
"Watchers?"
"The people who keep tabs on you, among other things. We told you about them. They follow your signal, though not too closely that they're obvious and sweep in to clean up after you, if necessary. That's how I knew about the car, and the walking."
"OK. Yeah. You did tell me about them. Good for Givings. Gives her something to do."
"You're not kidding, since you haven't been so busy lately." I nodded. Taking the jab. I deserved it.
I had nothing to say, so I just shrugged.
"You know, you're supposed to report in. E-mails to "James", Remember?"
"Yeah." I sat down next to him. "I remember, but I thought it was once a month."
"It is, officially, but unofficially you should report every two weeks. The People Upstairs are a little antsy about this whole program, and they're not too happy that you haven't done anything yet."
"I read the material they sent, but I can't see how it helps me. It's not easy with a real target. It's much easier picking targets at random."
"They know that. I told you they were happy with you results in Phase 1. But nothings happened yet, and the clock is ticking. If you fall behind now, it could be harder later on. They thought a target like Dr. Forrest - someone you knew - would make it easier. Especially knowing that she wasn't as professional with you as she could've been."
"What? How do you know that?"
"We have our ways, you should know that. But that doesn't matter now. What matters is that you get off your butt and do something."
"Is that why you're here? To remind me?"
"Partly. Mostly to let you know that the People Upstairs - unhappy with how things are going - have decided to tighten things up. Make it easier for you."
"How?"
"They've decided to make a decision for you." He took a slip of paper from his inside, jacket pocket and handed it to me. "This is what they want you to do, now. Good Luck."

He stood up and walked away. This was getting to be a routine I didn't like.

The slip of paper said...

DO IT AT THE HOSPITAL.

...A Hard Place...

I'm not a Luddite, but 'm not a Techno-nerd either. Still, I've had this laptop for almost 2 weeks, and there's still some stuff I can't figure out. I remember the first computer I bought, which was for my daughter, and it came with all kinds of manuals explaining how to do everything. That was comforting. This one came with a piece of paper, with illustrations, on how to set it up and get started. All the other Help features are - apparently - built in to the different programs. I have yet to figure them out.

One of the only applications I can access is my e-mails, and I've been pretty good at checking this daily, but there's one message that I haven't touched yet. The one from James, sent to me last Tuesday - the day after I met with Doyle and Givings. The day after they gave me this laptop. The day after I agreed to take the next step in the program. The day after I was given my first assigned target......Dr. Grace Forrest, a member of my Cardiology team.

I haven't opened it, because I'm scared to. By opening it, I take the first step towards staging the Event that will remove her, permanently. But I did agree to do this. I did agree to 3 new Events in 6 months. I knew they'd be giving me names, specifying targets. I didn't know that the first one would be someone I knew.

I haven't slept well, but I've finally decided to get on with it. The Cardiology team has been good to me, God knows. I wouldn't be here without them, literally. To target one of them seems like a betrayal. And yet...........

I remember that one day, lying in the hospital bed, my ex-wife in the room. There had been a lot of tests, and I recall this being a quiet day, with nothing scheduled. We were reading the papers, so it was a Sunday, I think. We were relaxed, comfortable...then Dr. Forrest came to the open door and said...

"We've done everything we can for you."

....and left before we could react. That really put a crimp in things!

The next day, she came back to explain that they would be putting me on the waiting list for a transplant, but the damage was done.

I can also remember that she'd had trouble trying to perform a couple of procedures on me, and having to get the main doctor to finish, and a couple of times doing biopsies on me which should've been through my neck. She couldn't get it, so wound up going through the groin - not a comfortable situation to be in.

Even now, if I were to meet her in the hallway, she passes by as if she doesn't know me. The only one on the team who doesn't even say hello.

This may all seem like nitpicking, but it's a way to goad me into going forward. Of all the people on the team, I owe her the least.

I think I'll be opening that e-mail tomorrow.