Where There's a Will...........

it rained this morning but I went out anyway. The day may be starting a bit dreary but I wasn't. My wrist was feeling better, though I was still wearing the splint. My blood work from Tuesday turned out to be on target so there was no need to alter any dosages. Best of all, I have no doctor's appointments for about a week and a half. I was feeling good, so I headed up towards the main library.

I don't have a printer at home (which I may have mentioned before) so I went to the library to print out my monthly checking account statement. I know I don't really need to do this since I can balance my account online, but I'm old-school that way (or anal retentive, whichever). I also picked up a couple of books from the sales table. I was headed up to the Pathmark in Avenel when my phone went off.

I pulled over to answer it, but it was only a prerecorded message from my pharmacy letting me know that a couple of prescriptions of mine were ready. As I sat there in my car I saw this guy walking up the block towards me.

I had the time.

I took off the splint and lowered the passenger side window. There was no one else around. He kept coming. I didn't think he even noticed me.

Point, press, Flash.

I put the splint back on, started the car, and continued on towards Pathmark.

The rain was letting up, but the parking lot seemed unusually empty. I drove around a bit first. I was buzzing from what just happened and I think, subconsciously, I was looking to stage another Event. It didn't take long.

this guy was out in the lot, emptying the garbage barrels.

I drove around behind him and stopped. I took off the splint again.This time, I lowered the driver's side window. I started up and came up so he'd be on my side, and slowed. He was wearing headphones so he never heard me coming.

Point, press, Flash.

I drove to the other side of the lot and parked. I put the splint back on and went into Pathmark. I had some stuff I needed to get.

On the way home I thought about what had happened. I'd told Doyle the other day that I wasn't sure I could do this. Looks like I was wrong.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Ordinary Time..................

Today is Sunday. I've mentioned before that I go to church on Sundays. Well, as often as I can. I find the rituals comforting... familiar. By following along, I can forget about what's really on my mind, at least for that short amount of time. Of course, it all comes back when I walk out through the doors but, sometimes, I get a new perspective on things. Not today.

Doyle was waiting by my car.

"Denny, how's it going?" He stuck out his hand and I shook it.
"Hey, Doyle. What brings you here today? Something new with Gordon?"
"Well, yeah, but that's not the whole reason. He's been staging Events almost every other day for about the last week and a half or so. Pretty much since you stopped, actually. But I'm really here to check up on you."
"Come on, Doyle..you're tracking me all the time. You know what's going on."
"We know where you've been and who you've seen. We even know what the doctors have said and what they've prescribed. What we don't know is how you're doing. you know, mentally. How're you handling all this?"
I looked at him for a bit, then down on the Carpal Tunnel Splint on my left wrist.

"It's still bothering me, but not as bad as before. I've got a prescription for steroids to reduce the inflammation, but I haven't taken any yet. I got some anti-biotics for a throat problem at the same time so the doc said to hold off on the steroids. I went back Thursday, and since it's better we'll hold off for 2 more weeks. One week, wearing the splint all day, the second with it on only in the afternoon. After that, I'll call her with my status and we'll go from there."

It was his turn to pause, nodding his head as he thought about it.

"I have to ask..is it bothering you enough to prevent you from staging any Events? I mean..the idea was for you to draw Gordon out but, like I said, once you stopped he started. It's like he wants you to be the active one....I don't know...I'm just askin'..you know?" He seemed uncomfortable.
"I know. I mean, I know what you're saying.......I tried. A couple of times. I can't control the Flasher with my left hand because of the splint.  From the car, I've been able to isolate potential Events on my right - the passenger side, you know - and can handle the Flasher with my right, but I'm having trouble controlling the car with my left. I'm just not sure, under the circumstances, that I'd be successful. And because of the splint, I feel that I'm more conspicuous on foot. So..I don't know what to tell you, Doyle. I'll try during the week, but I don't know that I'll get anywhere until I can take this off."

We both took some time to think about things. He nodded first, then grinned.

"OK. Don't worry about it, Denny. We'll wait for you to be comfortable with things again."
"Thanks, Doyle. 'I'll be back.'" I did my best Governator, and grinned back.
He laughed.
"Say, how did you make out with the other doctors?"
"well, I'm not happy with the dermatologist. He doesn't explain himself, just cuts things out and sends them for tests. I had to pester him for an answer. I don't think I'll be going back. The urologist was a nice guy..older. I had the prostate exam, which I wasn't looking forward to, and he said things were OK so we're gonna wait a couple of weeks and retake the PSA test. We'll see after that."
"You know, sometimes, I get so involved in what's going on..in the operation itself...that I forget that you're really just a civilian in all this."
"It;s OK, Doyle. Maybe I didn't know what I was getting into at first, and maybe it's spiralled way out of proportion to what it was supposed to be, but I'm in now. For better or worse."

It was my turn to grin first. He grinned back.

"OK, Denny. You take care of yourself....I mean that. I'll be in touch."

We shook hands, and he left.

I got in my car and drove off. I had breakfast again at Denny's and thought about what to do going forward. Maybe I'll signal Gordon and try to talk to him about what he's doing.

I bought some stuff to eat during the week, picked up the papers, and headed back home.

Nothing had really changed and yet I felt better about things. I felt that things were back to normal, at least as normal as they've been recently.

Back to ordinary time.

Add Another One to the List................

I've had to slow down recently, and may have to make other changes going forward. I'll explain about these later. I have staged a few Events since August 26th so let me bring things up to date.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, August 28th. It was early morning, as usual, and I was driving along Main Street in Woodbridge heading towards Wegman's. As I passed the Route 9 overpass, I noticed this guy walking up ahead.

I slowed, looking around. No one. The windows were already down. I caught up to him as he reached the overgrowth surrounding the stream.

Point, press, Flash.

He toppled over the low railing as I moved by.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, August 30th. I drove around the back streets in Avenel. Two blocks in from Avenel Street, I came up behind this guy.

I followed him down the street and watched as he crossed in font of me. He never turned around. I waited until he reached the shrubbery.

Point, press, Flash.

I continued down the street, made a few turns, and stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, August 31st. I had driven up to Rahway with the intention of stopping at the library. I was way too early, but I had picked up the paper and was going to read it while I waited. Then I saw this guy.

I turned right and followed him. When he got beside the trees, I closed in.

Point, press, Flash.

I skipped the library and headed back to Woodbridge.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, September 5th. I was driving around in the Edison/Metuchen area when I passed this guy.

It looked like he was spying on someone. I admit, curiosity got the better of me and I made a series of rights hoping he'd still be there. He was. I rolled up behind him slowly. He didn't move.

Point, press, Flash.

He fell behind the tree as I continued on my way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That was a week ago. As I said, I've slowed down and will probably be making some changes. You see, over the Labor Day Weekend I realized that I was experiencing pain in my left wrist (I'm left-handed). I bought a small bandage-like thing to wrap around it, hoping that would help. It didn't. I made an appointment with my primary physician.

I saw her Saturday morning. After some manipulation of the joint, she determined that the carpal tunnel was involved. She recommended a splint (which I got) and some over-the-counter meds for the inflammation (which my cardiologist said not to take). We're waiting until Friday to see if there's any improvement before changing the treatment.

Monday, I went to my dermatologist. I had a small growth on my forehead and, since I'm susceptible to certain cancers due to the immuno-suppressants I take, I wanted his opinion. He did the same thing he did the last time - cut it out and sent it for tests. He told me what it was and that it's probably benign but he cut it out anyway. I'm gonna have to cut him out.

Tuesday, I had my regularly scheduled blood work. I prefer going down to the cardiologist's office for these because I get the results back the same day. I got them around 5:30. Since I'm coming up on 4 years without a problem, they decided to lower my prograf dose slightly which is OK by me. The lower the dose the lower the risk of damaging other organs.

Then there was the bad news.

My PSA was 8. (I looked this up and it stands for Prostate Specific Antigen). They consider 4 to be normal and she called 8 "slightly elevated". I know that there is some controversy about these numbers but, even so, they said I should see a urologist. Now, due to my reduced immune system, I have to consider the possibility of prostate cancer.

I got a name and made an appointment for this coming Monday.

I was hoping to reduce the number of doctors I go to.

Now I have to add another one to the list.