I've realized lately that a lot has changed since I had the transplant. I don't mean physically, that goes without saying. I mean mentally. I've changed the way I look at things. How I approach them. Take, for example, decisions.
I used to procrastinate more.
When I was working, that worked out more often then not. By not making quick decisions, I was able to gather more information and let my subconscious process it. I'm not saying I always made the right choice, but it felt right at the time.
There's nothing wrong with a quick decision, of course. Especially if you already have enough information to make it. In fact, I saved the Firm a 60 million dollar client by making a quick decision on how to change the presentation of certain data. Still.............
It's been a little more then 2 weeks since I last spoke to Doyle. A little more then 2 weeks since he'd asked me back in. I'd hesitated at first. After all, I'd spent the last few months not indulging, trying to get back to normal. And yet..when Doyle made the proposal...I ultimately took it.
Why?
I could use the "He's a bad guy and we need to catch him, so thet need me to stage an Event or two to draw him out" excuse, but after a few days of letting it swim around in my subconscious I know the real answer.
I missed it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This past week we had some really great days, weather-wise. Mid-week, we actually hit the 60's. I decided to drive around in Avenel, since it was the site of my initial Events. I wound up yesterday in Merrill Park, walking the track early, looking for a potential Event. I was getting..itchy. And then I saw him..
There were only a few people out, and the man in blue was all by himself, wearing headphones, and oblivious to what was going on around him. I let him pass, and fell in behind him. We followed the track for about 15 minutes, and I started checking the area for other people. Things seemed to be going my way. As we rounded the far bend, I saw that we were heading in the direction of the parking lot where I'd left my car.
Damn! There were people there who hadn't been there when I'd pulled in. I slowed, and watched as about 4 or 5 people started out onto the track around the man in blue.
This wasn't going to work. I went back into the lot, got into my car, and drove off. Frustrated.
I drove around for about 15 minutes, and finally pulled into a parking lot for a local FoodTown, which was on a slight hill. I sat there in my car, my head back and my eyes closed, trying to calm down. After about 10 minutes or so, I looked up and saw that some woman had pulled in beside me and was staring at me. Thinking that maybe she was concerned, I smiled and waved at her.
No reaction. She just kept looking in my direction.
I took a deep breathe, and thought about what I'd been doing, and why I was in this particular parking lot. I looked around as I did so.
No one around. Nothing moving. I looked over at the woman again. She was still looking in my direction.
Point, press, Flash.
She slumped over. I started my car and drove away.
For better or worse, I'm committed now.
