More Misgivings........

Doyle didn't call. Instead, I met Ms. Givings at the Menlo Park Mall yesterday. She picked the entrance beside where the movie theater is. No "Hello", "Happy Holidays", "Happy New Year", or "How are you?", just a curt "Walk with me." as she hustled by. At least she slowed it down as she rounded the corner towards Macy's. After all, the only people at the mall at this time of day are the "Mall Walkers" - those senior citizens/recuperating people who need to be walking(and those physical fitness freaks who don't have jobs). If we kept moving at her initial pace, we'd stick out like sore thumbs.

"Where's Doyle?" I asked, to try to kick things off.
"He's got the flu, or something. They pulled me in off my vacation to babysit you."
"What do you mean, babysit? I thought you monitored me by the implant."
"You gotta know you're under constant watch. Besides the monitoring, the People Upstairs want a constant watch on you now. They're concerned that you haven't had an Event in a few weeks."
"Look, they were the ones, at least Doyle said they were, who said things would slow up with the cold weather. No one's out and about, and very few by themselves. Also, it's the holiday season. The only people you see are in crowds."
"I know that, but the People Upstairs play the tune we all dance to. Anyway, they wanted someone to speak to you, in case you were having second thoughts or something."
"Not me. You and Doyle scared those out of me the last time we met. I'll finish this, or at least get as close as I can to the target number. By the way, what happens if I don't get the twelve? I know I've got 8 done, and a little less then 2 months for the other 4, but what happens if I don't bring them all in?"
"I'm not sure. No one's ever said anything about it. I do know that they originally didn't think you'd come anywhere near the target. As you got closer, they began to rethink the project, and then they got concerned that you were getting sloppy or too personal with numbers 5 and 6. Right now, I have no idea what they intend to do."
"OK. So, you're just here to make sure I don't have a bout of seasonal remorse? That I'm not depressed, or suicidal? Is that it?"
"Partly. And I can tell by your tone of voice that you're not. The People Upstairs will be glad to hear that. But also, I'm reiterating the fact that I'm Doyle's backup and you'll have me to deal with periodically when he's not available."
"well, if that's all, consider it done. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to stop and get something to eat. These early morning meetings throw my meal schedule out of whack."
"Just one more thing. The People Upstairs want to know what you plan to do once this project is over."
"What? Are you kidding? I haven't planned that far ahead. I try not to think about this whole situation at all. I take it day by day, do what I have to, and move on. As long as you have this monitor in me, I don't see that I have too much of a choice. Maybe that's what I want, to have the monitor taken out. Tell them that."
"I will. Is there anything else?"
"Do you think they will? Take out the implant, I mean?"
"I don't know." She stopped walking, and for the first time today, looked my straight in the face. "They may, and they may not. I don't know them. I've seen them by good guys, and I've seen them do some rotten things all in the name of National Security. I couldn't even guess what they'd do."
She paused, and looked around not really noticing anything, just gathering her thoughts.
"Look, I don't know you. I don't want to know you. I think Doyle has made this project a personal one for him. That's his mistake. I won't do that. But I will give you some advise. Do what they want you to. No more, no less. You try you best, and they won't think your slacking so they won't try to take it out on you. Whatever happens after that is their doing. That's all I can offer you."
She pause again, as if waiting for me to reply, but I couldn't think of anything to say.
"I'll tell them that you still working towards the final goal, and that the slow down was as they predicted - weather related. Beyond that, I won't tell them anything about this conversation. Hopefully, Doyle will be feeling better the next time they want to talk to you."
She turned and left. Suddenly that appetite I'd had wasn't as pressing as it had been.
I now had more to worry about.

8 Days a Week.....

This time of year, you can't count on the weather. Some days are cold, some days are colder, and for some inexplicable reason some days are much, much warmer. Last Wednesday was one of those much warmer days.

It had rained very heavily the night before but the morning dawned bright and warm. (I'm assuming it dawned that way since it was bright and warm when I got up several hours later.) Listening to the radio, it was already in the upper 60's, but would get progressively cooler during the afternoon. I decided it would be a good day for a walk.

Lately, I've put on a few pounds. To me, it's noticeable but others seem to think I was too thin to start with. I blame it having the car, and being inherently lazy. Anyway, I decided to walk up to Perkins for breakfast, stop at ShopRite for some stuff, maybe hit the library, and go home. I should be out most of the morning.

The walk takes me up Rahway, along Freeman, and out onto Amboy (which becomes St. George at some arbitrary point). I was enjoying it. The air was warm, the sun was out, and everything just seemed to be brighter. Coming out on to Amboy, I crossed to the other side and walked up passed A & P and ShopRite. Just passed ShopRite there's a new bank and the recently reconfigured turn off from Routes 1 & 9 North. This turn off wraps around the store and parking lot for Animals & Things, which sits in sort of a bowl because of the way the turn off was built.

As I passed the bank, I saw a huge amount of pigeons in the parking lot for Animals & Things. A HUGE AMOUNT OF PIGEONS! It was like an army of flying , diseased rats, and they were all facing in the same direction, Animals & Things. It looked like they had planned an attack and were waiting for the word to start.

I stopped, not wanting to move too quickly forward, in case I set them off. Just then, I saw someone come out of the back of the store. He was carrying a large box. A shudder went through the pigeons, but they stayed where they were. He walked right into the middle of them, and began to spread around what I presumed to be bird seed or something, which he took from the box. He was feeding this army of scavengers!!! This wouldn't do.

With great power comes great responsibility. I circled back, and around the bank, coming up on the parking lot from the far side. The man paid not attention to me (nor did the pigeons) and continued to throw around the food. I took the Flasher out. Closer. Closer. No one paid me any attention, and the way the turn off came around, we couldn't be seen from either the highway of Amboy/St. George.

Point, press, flash. I turned around quickly, and without running, moved as fast as I could towards the bank. I circled around, and approached the lot from the street side again. The pigeons continued to eat around the man, many of them in the box which had fallen on to the ground with him.

"Enjoy it while you can." I thought, "Since it's the last meal you'll get around here."

I was in a good mood as I continued my walk, although I figured on coming back on the other side of the street. I didn't care if I got a confirm on this one (although I did) because I felt I'd done the world a favor.

Giving Thanks.....

Usually, my not having ready access to a computer annoys me, and slows down the postings to this blog. In this instance, it gave me time to figure out how I wanted to say something. Even with the extra time, I couldn't so I'll just go ahead with what I want to say.

Thanksgiving Day is always the last Thursday in November. That should be no surprise to anyone. This year it was preceded by 3 days that have a big impact on me. The Tuesday was the first anniversary of my transplant. A big day for me and my immediate family. A quiet celebration to remember what happened and to be thankful for what didn't.

This means that Monday was the first anniversary of the death of my donor, Jimmy. I can't imagine how his family feels, or what they went through making the decision to donate the organs of their only son. I called them. They said it was getting better, but the tone of voice they used didn't sound that way.

Wednesday would've been my donor's 27th birthday. Another blow to the family.

For me, these 3 days will be linked forever to my future. I guess with every good thing that happens to you, you have to be prepared to carry some sadness.