Some Things You Just Don't Do................

We're in a string of typical autumn weather. Usually, I enjoy days like this but not now. I've got something coming up that I'm not looking forward to and it's affecting my mood. I know it's nothing serious, but I can't help obsessing over it. This morning I was up and out early, trying to keep myself occupied - trying to not think about things.

I drove around through some of the side streets in Woodbridge. I was going to stop by the Main Library, but it wouldn't be open for another half hour. As I stopped at a light on Freeman Street I saw this woman walking towards me.

I looked around and saw that there was no one else around. The light was still red as she came up to the side of my car...and passed by.

It was Kitty.

Well, I think of her as Kitty. I think of her as Kitty because for the first year or so that I'd seen her walking to work she'd been wearing a Hello Kitty hat and carrying a similarly themed backpack.

She walks down St. George's Avenue from her apartment somewhere around the library. She walks all the way down to Main Street, then along there to Woodbridge Center Drive and ultimately to the Mall. I saw her there, once, working in one of the fast food restaurants. She was cleaning the tables, and was pleasant and friendly and seemed happy with her job.

I've never spoken to her. I don't know her. But she's familiar to me. So I put the Flasher back in my pocket.

There are some things that you just don't do.

About an hour later I was driving along Route 27, heading in the direction of the Edison/Metuchen border. This is just a one lane road, but at certain cross streets there's a left turn lane. This is true for Parsonage Road. I was stopped at the light when a silver sedan pulled into the left-turn lane. When we got the green I started forward and the sedan - instead of turning left - sped forward and cut me off.

There are some things you just don't do.

I followed behind him for a while and he turned into the Metuchen Municipal building parking lot. He stopped along the driveway. I drove around the corner, parked, and approached the lot from the back. I had no specific plan in mind. Maybe just to Flash the car so it wouldn't start.

Through the bushes surrounding the lot, I could see the sedan and the driver was standing next to it.

He appeared to be checking his messages, or texting. Either way, he was alone.

Point, press, Flash.

I turned around, and strolled back to my car. It was pretty quiet here, and bright enough that I was pretty sure that the Flash hadn't attracted any attention.

I drove on towards the Edison Main Library.

When I came out, Doyle was standing by my car.

"Hey, Doyle, fancy meeting you here?"
"Hiya, Denny, how're ya doin'?" We shook hands.
"Ah, you know, same old. What brings you out today? something to do with Gordon?"
"No..ah..actually it's not business." He looked a little embarrassed. "I was..wondering..how you're doing..what with that biopsy tomorrow and all."

Now I was embarrassed.

"I'm OK, Doyle. It's..you know..something I gotta take care of."
"Sure, sure, Denny..I know..it's just..did you consider anything else?"
"Doyle, it's not a big deal. He does it in his office."
"Yeah, but...couldn't you have waited a little longer?"
"Probably. But my PSA was high 2 months in a row. I could put it off another month but, with the immunosuppressants I'm on, I don't think the risk is worth it."

He didn't say anything.

"Doyle, look, I appreciate you're asking, you know? I'm really not worried about the outcome. If it's..you know..not so good, well, it's early on and can be treated. It's just..the biopsy itself, the process, that I'm not too thrilled about."

Neither of us said anything, for a minute or two. And we didn't look at each other either. Just 2 guys trying to talk about something that both of us were uncomfortable with.

"OK, well, I gotta go Denny. I just wanted to..um..wish you good luck."
He stuck out his hand. We shook. He walked away.

Guys don't talk about stuff like this.

It's something they just don't do.

Pet Peeves...................

I've been in a bad mood for the last couple of days.

Monday, I had the follow-up meeting with the urologist and found out that my PSA level is still high. Rather then wait for another month to retest, I opted to go for the biopsy. I did some research about it online, and I'm not looking forward to it. I was hoping to get it done quickly but, of course, it can't be done until next Wednesday and the results won't be back for about 10 days after that. I'll still have to wait for the results. I hate the waiting.

Tuesday I met with the cardiologist who will do the Left Heart Catherization. I've had this done before and I'm not looking forward to it either. He ran a few tests, and we agreed to do the procedure at Robert Wood Johnson since that's where my regular cardiologist is. Of course, he only goes there on Wednesdays and I already have the biopsy scheduled for next Wednesday. I have to wait for this until the 31st. Waiting again. Damn, I hate to wait.

It's a pet peeve of mine. Unfortunately, it's one I can't do anything about.

I haven't slept well the last few nights. I can't stop thinking about the 2 procedures. And last night around 1:30, some clown leaving the bar across the street decided to rev his motorcycle for about 10 minutes before he left. That added to my aggravation. I hate motorcycles.

This morning, the sun was out and the day felt warmer. I had nothing to do and nowhere to go. I felt good. I went out early just to drive around and see what would happen. I stopped for breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts and drove down through Colonia. It was peaceful there.

Fairly quickly, I came up behind this guy out jogging. He was in the middle of the street. He must've heard me behind him because he waved me around him.

I hate that. He should be on the side of the road, not in the middle. I slowed, and stayed behind him until he moved over.

I did not pass him right away. I made sure there was no one else around first.

Point, press, Flash.

I passed him, and drove into South Plainfield. From there, I turned down towards Metuchen. Ahead of me, on one of the back streets, I saw a bike rider tear out of a side street into the middle of the road.

I hate that. These people act like they own the road.

I slowed and stayed behind him. After a few minutes, he pulled to the side.

There are no sidewalks here, and very little traffic. I passed him, slowly.

Point, press, Flash.

I drove through Metuchen and up into Edison. I drove up Main Street and turned left onto Woodbridge Avenue. I wound up behind some guy on a motorcycle.

I had an idea.

I followed along behind him. He turned into Raritan Center. So did I. He pulled into one of the lots surrounding several small business. I slowed even more, and watched as he stopped behind one of the buildings. I parked off to the side and waited. He was emptying the storage area under his seat.

I got out and approached him from behind. There were no other cars parked back here. No one else was around.

He never even looked up.

Point, press, Flash.

I walked slowly back to my car. I know I had taken a real chance but it was something I had to do.

I hate motorcycles.

There are some pet peeved that you can deal with.

Days Like This.............

I've noticed that things seem to happen in streaks, at least for me. After I was diagnosed with a carpal tunnel problem, it took me some time to get back to staging Events. Late last month, I managed to pull off two but, since then, I haven't found an opportunity. What has happened is a string of what I can only say are days that have had something....strange....happen.
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This past Saturday morning, I went to a funeral. I knew the woman slightly - she was someone my daughter knew from a volunteer group that they both belonged to - but I knew she'd been fighting some illness for a long time and I'd admired how she'd handled it.

It was moving, as funerals usually are, but what stood out was the eulogy. There were pews full of family and friends, but the guy who gave the eulogy admitted that he didn't really know her - that he was really a friend of her brother. He seemed to feel that he was competent to perform this function because he'd spoken to people at the wake about the deceased and recorded their comments. He seemed proud to be able to read them back to us from an electronic notebook (loosing his place several times). I don't know. It just seemed strange to me. If people have things to say about me when I go - good or bad - let them get up there and say them. I think I'd appreciate the personal touch.
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Sunday, after mass and breakfast, I drove around the back streets in Avenel and Colonia. I was killing time. There's a thrift shop in South Plainfield that was having a sale but they weren't going to be open until 11. Turning down one of the side streets, I could see a guy up ahead changing a tire.

There was no one else around, so I pulled to the curb. Watching him, I removed the splint and lowered my window. He never turned around, just concentrated on the tire. I started up again, slowly and drove past.

Point, press, Flash.

I moved on and got to the thrift store just before they opened. I got a couple of shirts and some decorative stuff for the apartment for about $14. One thing was really strange.

I'm not sure what it is, but the label on the foot says it's a Ganz. It's probably supposed to hold something but, for now, it'll be a bookend.

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Monday was a holiday so the libraries were closed. I did some food shopping but nothing else presented itself so I got home early. That afternoon, I got a call from my cardiologist's office. My 4th anniversary is coming up and they want me to have a test called a Left Heart Cathorization, which I've been through before. However, the new guy there doesn't do this procedure so I'd have to pick another cardiologist. Seemed strange to me.

They had a few names they could recomend and we agreed on the cardiologist who was the one on duty at JFK Medical Center in July of 2008 who first diagnosed my problem. This made the situation even stranger.
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On Tuesday, I was out earlier then usual. I had an appointment for blood work and I was using a local lab rather then the clinic lab at Robert Wood Johnson where I go for my heart work. This test was to check my PSA level. It was pretty high last month but the doctor and I agreed to do another check before going the biopsy route.

From there, I drove to Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast then decided to check out the Metuchen Library. Some of the back streets in that area end at cross streets. At one of these, I noticed a guy waiting for a bus.

I turned right. There was a professional building just ahead - lawyers, I think - and I pulled into their lot, drove around the back, took off the splint and got ready. When I pulled back out, I turned left. The only other person around was the guy at the bus stop. I approached slowly. He stood there, looking down the block past me.

Point, press, Flash.

I continued on to Metuchen.

On my way there, I got another call from my cardiologist's. There's a couple of other tests that they'd like to have me take (an echocardiogram and a chest x-ray). We agreed to do them on Tuesday, November 6th. Why they didn't bring this up on Monday when we discussed the other test yesterday is beyond me. Strange.
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It was raining this morning and chilly, so I took my time leaving. The day brightened up as it went on, and I stopped at some of the Woodbridge libraries. I'm reading this book that I find interesting and I thought I'd check to see if I could find something else by the author. No such luck. I drove home.

As I parked on my side street I looked across at my living room windows. It's a habit I've gotten into over the years. I look to see if my cat is there. She wasn't, but I noticed that the windows were open slightly.

I knew I hadn't left them that way. It had been too cold last night, and damp this morning.

Someone had been in there...Or still was.

I went into the building, using my key on the vestibule door, and tested the door knob to my apartment. The door was locked. I used my key, took a couple of deep breaths, and went in. The door opens into a hallway that leads to the living room (with the kitchen halfway down and to the left). I went down the hall.

There was Gordon sitting on the love seat in front of the windows.

"I was going to wave from the window, but I didn't want to attract any one else." He didn't get up.
"You scared the crap out of me...........what are you doing here?"

I sat down in my chair, trying to calm down.

"I'm sorry, Denny." He pushed himself forward a little, but still didn't rise. "I've gotten some strange readings on your whereabouts lately, and - frankly - I was worried."
"What?....Strange readings?....What are you talking about?"
"You know that I follow you in the same way that the DHS does, right? Well, I've placed you lately in some locations that I didn't recognize. I checked them out and found them to be medical facilities. You can, I trust, excuse me if I was concerned."

I hadn't thought about that.

"OK. Look. I had a problem with my wrist so I went to my primary. From there, it kinda escalated." I filled him in on what had been happening. He sat there listening, then nodded.

"I seem to have jumped to some unfounded conclusions." He grinned, but there was something underneath it. He moved forward again. "I'm glad to see that you're doing well, Denny."
"How are you doing, Gordon?" I had to ask.
He grinned again, and finally stood up. He shook his head.
"What's the expression?.......Don't let the bastards get you down?.....I'm trying, Denny, I'm trying."
"Look..I don't mean to be crass but you have to need the same meds that I do....you have to know that they're watching those. Are you getting them? ...."

He looked at me but didn't answer. He looked tired. He looked - literally - blue.
"I have to be going now." He turned towards the door. "Look out for yourself, Denny."
"Gordon........is there anything I can get you..anything I can do?"
"Thank you. Not for now. But you may be recieving a package within the next couple of weeks. I hope that you make the right decision with the contents."

He closed the door behind him.

I closed the windows, and stared out them for a long time. It crossed my mind that yesterday would have been John Lennon's 72nd birthday. And I realized that his last song fit this situation.

"Nobody told me there'd be days like this."