Misgivings......

Doyle called last Saturday, wanting to meet. It had been almost a week since Event 6, but I really don't have any choice in these matters. We met Sunday at Alvin Williams Park in Sewarren, which overlooks the Arthur Kill.

As I walked down from the parking lot to the water front, I saw he was sitting on a bench with someone else - a woman. He was watching for me, and rose as I got close.

"Denny, thanks for coming. This is Fran Givings. She's an agent like me." She held out her hand, and I shook it.

"What's this about? I thought this was supposed to be low key, just the 2 of us?"
"It is, only the People Upstairs changed the rules a little. Fran will be my backup. If you hear from her, you gotta do what you'd do if you heard from me. Got it?"
"OK. But why? Are they sending you somewhere else?"
"No, nothing like that." He started to walk, and we trailed along with him. So far, Miss Givings hadn't said a word. "The People Upstairs are starting to take this seriously. not that they hadn't before but they weren't optimistic that you'd get the 12 in 6 months. Now that you've done 6 in 3, they starting to pay more attention, and everything has to now be by the book. That's where Fran comes in."
"I'm still not following."
"It's easy. You see, every operation usually requires that the agent running it have a backup. That way, in case something happens to him - or her, sorry Givings - the backup can step in without missing a beat. Of course, this means that I have to keep Fran here in the loop on everything, but you don't have to do anything. If she steps in it's because I'm unavailable, for whatever reason. But, she shouldn't have to since this is all random after all, and you make the choices. I only call if there's something you need to know. OK?"
"All right, yeah, I guess it makes sense. So what you're saying is I got 6 more to do, 3 months to do it in, and Agent Givings may call sometime but probably not."
"Right. That's it." Givings nudged him in the ribs, but tried to hide it from me. She didn't do such a good job. "Oh Yeah, there is one more thing."
"There always is. What is it?"
"Again, it's the People Upstairs. They're happy with the end results, but not so much with the last 2 Events. The thinking is that they were too out in the open, too public. They want to make sure that you understand that they'll keep their end of the bargain, bailing you out if you get caught. But, they want you to keep it low key. They're afraid you're getting too cocky, and maybe a little too careless. Don't forget what's at stake here."
"I don't, believe me. I know it's a 'me or them' situation."
"Good. Then that's all we need to hear." Turning to Givings, he said,"You can wait for me in the car now, Fran. If he says anything meaningful, I'll let you know." She said nothing - still - and turned toward the parking lot and the kind of car you'd expect government workers to be driving in. "OK. She's gone now. What were you thinking with that last one?"
"What?"
"That last one, number 6. I understand the thinking behind number 5, she was an available target and the situation just happened -even though the People Upstairs are still a little uncomfortable with it - but I don't get 6."
We walked along quietly for a while. He didn't push, and I was sunk in thought. Finally, I explained it. How it happened and why. He was still quiet for a while, and we passed a marker that indicated it was 8 tenths of a mile if you followed the outside trail around the entire park. I wondered how far we'd come.
"OK. I think I get it, and you gotta stop thinking like that right now. You are not some caped-crusading vigilante taking out the scum of the earth. We don't normally do any background checks on the people involved in these Events, but we could. What if we found that this guy was just some poor,dumb schmuck who was drinking a cup of coffee while his family was in the Children's Room enjoying reading time? Maybe he slipped out for a cigarette. You can't create back stories for them. They can't exist in your mind, they can't be real. Otherwise, you make yourself crazy, and I do mean crazy. You get me?"

I shrugged, because I didn't know what to say. We walked some more, and stopped back at the bench where he'd been sitting earlier with Givings. I stared at the Outerbridge for a while, I don't know how long. Doyle just stood there, saying nothing.

"I get it, I guess. I just thought that I was making something right out of this. That there was a purpose, a valid reason for it."
"There isn't. You know it, I know it, and the People Upstairs know it." He stopped, as if he wanted to say more, then took a deep breathe, exhaled, and continued. "Look, there's something you should know. The People Upstairs almost pulled the plug on you. They like the project now, but they're unsure of you. I convinced them otherwise, in the only language they really understand. It wouldn't be cost effective to stop you now. You have the implant. They'd have to take an agent out of the field, who's already got the implant, but then they're using a traceable asset should something go wrong, or they'd have to create someone, which has a whole bunch of other problems. For better or worse, they understand they're stuck with you. But, and it's a big But, they can pull the plug at any time. You need to keep that in mind. I don't know what they'd do to you if they decide to go that route, but you know too much to let them be comfortable with you just walking away. Be careful, is all I'm saying."
" I got it. I never thought about it like that, but I see where you're coming from. Let me ask you something. If they decide to get rid of me, would you do it?"
"I work for them. It's my job. And even if I refused, they have agents like Givings to do whatever they want. I'd like to think I'd be a little more discrete, and at least act on your behalf."

We didn't say anything else. There was nothing left to say. We'd go back to how it was before, but I'd be a little more cautious now. After all, there was Miss Givings.