Just Because You're Paranoid..............

It's been over 2 weeks since I spoke with Craig. Over 2 weeks since I've gotten anything besides mail in my mailbox. Over 2 weeks since paranoia kicked in - big time.

When I thought that it was Jones' people leaving me the messages, I wasn't really worried. After all, they were government people - they worked for DHS just like Craig, Doyle, Smith, etc. They just didn't agree with what we were doing with The Project.

 But, of course, it couldn't be them. They'd all been reassigned. There were top-priorities
now, involving real risks and needing experienced field operatives. There was no one to spare to follow me around.

So who did that leave?

According to Craig, the answer was - the subject from Delaware. The one chosen by Jones to participate in The Project. The one who they lost track of - even though he had an implanted tracker similar to mine. The one that Doyle said was probably a psychopath. Craig thought the subject - let's call him "Del", since it's easier - was probably using me to send DHS a message. Del was letting them know he was here, by following me around and commenting on my activities.

Oh Good...being followed around by a psycho. Paranoid much?

I go out every day - rain or shine, hot or cold. Something I've done ever since I recovered from the transplant. I used to enjoy it. Now...not so much. Driving around, I find myself watching the mirrors more intently. Looking over me shoulders everywhere I went. All the fun was gone.

I'd finally had enough yesterday. I was heading towards the Menlo Park Mall.

I started to think,  "Am I being followed now? Is he in the car directly behind me? Or in that white one?"

I couldn't even enjoy browsing at Barnes & Nobles. I found myself staring out the 2nd floor window at the parking lot.

Thinking, "Is h out there? Waiting for me? Is he here?"

"Is he one of these guys?"

I had it bad. And I knew that I had to get passed it.

I went home, left the TV off, and read through these entries from the beginning.

It was therapeutic. I remembered why I continued to do what I did, even though there was no insistence on it. I enjoyed it. And, after all, what did it matter if someone was watching me? He hadn't turned me in. He hadn't taken me out. If there's one thing I've learned it's that there's no sense worrying about something you have no control over. I would just start varying my routine more.

I went to bed and slept well. Until I was rudely awakened.

They've been working on the street outside my apartment. On one level, I understand it. They're putting in those handicap access corners on all the blocks around me, and they do the work early because it's been very hot. But...it's been too early in the morning for that much noise.

I couldn't sleep any longer so after my usual morning routine, I left my apartment to pick up some stuff. I drove to the next corner and found one of the workers replacing the street sign.

He wasn't paying any attention to me, so I just sat there watching him...and looking around. We were the only one's about. When he got down on his knees to work on the base, I took one more look around. Still no one.

Point, press, Flash.

I drove away, glancing in the rear view as he and the sign sagged to the right.

 Let's see what Del does with that, I thought.

I spent the next few hours picking up some food, having breakfast, and making my 6 month doctor's appointment. I was heading home when I decided to arbitrarily turn off Woodbridge Avenue into a development I'd never driven through before. I figured to go a few blocks, make a left, a few blocks, then another left, and I'd wind up back on Woodbridge. It was pretty quiet there. No one around, no other cars moving, until I saw him.

He seemed to be picking weeds out of his lawn. I drove completely around the block and approached him again, slowly. We were the only one's around.

Point, press, Flash.

I looked back when I reached the corner, and saw him lying there. I made my left and headed home.

I was feeling better about things, but I waited until late in the afternoon to check my mail. Nothing in the box.

Strangely, I felt a little disappointed.