I Got This ...........

I live alone. I've lived alone for over 20 years now. I like it, especially since most of my time now is completely free. I've reached the point where my doctor appointments are few and far between. In fact, I only had 3 between the end of April and now.

Monday, April 25th, I had a 10:15 appointment with my Radiologist in Rahway. It was a little later then I usually liked but I've been sleeping in lately because of spending my nights awake due to insomnia. I got there early, of course, and they called me in right away. I knew there was nothing he was going to do because of the ONJ problem but it was reassuring to know that there'd been no change to the size of the tumor inside by my right ear. He told me that he'd spoken to the Oral Surgeon that I'd seen and said that it sounded like he had a plan. I left there feeling a little better and took the long way back through Metuchen to see if they'd opened their library yet. I saw this woman coming towards me. She was an older woman moving briskly on her way back, I assumed, from shopping.

I didn't see a mask but I wasn't in the mood to do anything. I stopped at the library but they were still closed to the public.

Not much happened over the next week or so. I was spreading out the chores and errands I had to do so that I had something to do every day. The weather continued to be changeable - going from cold and cloudy to sunny and warm pretty quickly. One day on my way back down Amboy Avenue I came up behind this guy. He had his head down as if checking something on his cell phone. He wasn't wearing a mask.

We were right by the train tracks, a pretty wide open but desolate area. I didn't see anyone around so I took the chance.

Point, press, Flash

I continued on Amboy, turned left on Main, then bore left onto Rahway and headed home.

Tuesday, May the 4th, I had an 11:15 appointment with the Oral Surgeon in Edison and my Daughter drove me. He pulled a really loose tooth and gave me a couple of prescriptions but had no further news for me. He explained to my Daughter and I what the prognosis for ONJ was, that it would probably require bone replacement surgery, and that he was going to contact someone he knows in New York. The same stuff he'd told me before but at least this time my Daughter was there to hear it too. I agreed to a follow-up in a couple of weeks but felt frustrated again.

I got up the next morning still feeling frustrated and every little inconvenience was starting to annoy me. When I went out to my car, there was another one parked behind me - illegally. That just added to my mood until I saw that he'd been ticketed.

Good. That made me feel better.

My improved mood lasted until I went back to the Oral Surgeon on Thursday, May 13th. My problem is definitely ONJ and he'd passed on my information to his New York colleague. I asked if he knew of anyone out here who could do the same thing - after all there must be at least 5 hospitals in Middlesex County alone. He demurred and gave me the contact info for New York. Now I was annoyed again. I tried to calm myself down by driving back through Iselin. It was a bright, warm day and the music on the radio was cheering me up. That's when I noticed this bike rider without a mask.

I couldn't resist.

Point, press, Flash

I was in a better mood the rest of the way home.

I fell back into my daily routine pretty quickly. I'm a creature of habit after all and there is some comfort in routine. I was still annoyed that the Oral Surgeon was reluctant to name anyone in Middlesex County who could help me so I spent some time researching it online. I found an Oral Surgery Group in New Brunswick whose website specifically mentions Bone Replacement. I contacted them, discussed the problem, and made an appointment for Monday June 14th at 12. From what I could see on the map I have an idea of where they're located but I may ask a friend to drive me anyway. 

To hedge my bets, I contacted the guy in New York that was recommended by the Oral Surgeon I saw. The Office Administrator was vague but I did make an appointment for Monday June 21st at 1. She said that initial visit would cost about $400. I'm hoping that New Brunswick comes through.

Thursday the 20th, the Township started milling and paving Rahway Avenue right in front of my apartment. This meant that there would be no parking allowed along a 3 block stretch until they were done. All those cars would now be looking for spaces where I usually park. I wasn't happy, but I had places to go. I ran my errands for the next couple of days but was rerouted on my way home. 

I had to get off Rahway Avenue and make a series of turns to get back to Claire Street and look for a space.

They didn't work on the Saturday or Sunday but Monday they were back and had the side streets closed off again. 

There were no large trucks out front but the police had the all the access roads blocked.

They were there for the next 2 days and I was out, adapting my route based on what street was open. I found a decent parking spot each day which surprised me. What surprised me more, however, was that I wasn't frustrated but was doing things on my own to solve my problems.

Yesterday, I stopped at Dunkin Donuts for coffee and this young guy came in without a mask. I was annoyed but I was inside already. I waited in my car until he came out and got into his work van. I was going to do something but I noticed this woman. She was sitting on a bench out in front, maskless, with a wide-open view of the whole lot.

I would be seen, I was sure. Instead, I followed him up into Avenel where I saw him park in front of a house where he appeared to be working. I drove around the block and parked across the street. I was going to take out the van but, looking around, I saw this jogger in my side-view mirror. She was closing quickly.

I changed my plans and followed her.

Point, press, Flash

I went back to running my errands for the day.

This morning I was out a little later then usual but I was feeling lazy and the weather was good. I noticed that my front, driver's side tire looked low so I stopped at the Quick Chek to use their air pump. Either it didn't work or the tire was really bad. I tried the air pump at Wawa's with the same result. I wound up going to Atlantic Tire in Avenel. The guy took a look and found a nail imbedded and he said he'd fix it instead of selling me a new one.

He wasn't wearing a mask - in fact, none of the people at the shop were - but I kept my distance and he did save me some money. I paid for the fix and tipped him $5.

Driving back through Avenel  I saw this guy jogging in my direction.

No mask and wearing headphones so he can't hear if anyone comes up behind him. I was feeling good about the tire and passed him.

I drove around a little longer with the windows open and the music on. I was feeling at peace with things. I was feeling good now. I've proven to myself that I can veer from my routine without frustration. I can adapt when I need to. 

I know I have some things coming up in June but they're weeks away. I'll deal with them then. 

I got this.

 Let It Rain .....

Spring, so far, has been sort of a hit-or-miss proposition. We've had sunny days and rainy days. We've had warm days and chilly days. We've had every possible combination. What we haven't had is any real change in the Pandemic situation. Masks and Social Distancing are still the norm and even I - a self-proclaimed anti-social person - am starting to miss the conventional contacts we used to have.

Monday, March 21st, was a bright sunny day and I went out early to run some errands. First stop - the Post Office on Main Street to mail some bills. As soon as I pulled up I saw this guy heading towards me, probably on his way to the train station.

No mask. I was so annoyed that I just drove away and went the Post Office in Avenel.

I didn't have anything to do for a couple of days but on Wednesday the 24th I had a follow-up with the Radiologist. It was for 10:15 but I left my house around 8:30 hoping to pick up some breakfast at the Quick Chek on Main Street. Of course, things don't always go as planned. I got stopped on Rahway by the construction work.

I waited in the line for about 15 minutes while they moved a bulldozer from one side of the site to another. By the time I could move forward, I'd lost my appetite. 

I got to the Radiologist's at 9:45 and he saw me right away. He felt the side of my face where the tumor is and said there didn't seem to be any change so we should wait until we got some kind of answer from the dentist as to what he could do before going any further. In short, no change.

Sunday the 28th I got some good news. I had a new Granddaughter but, of course, I couldn't see her right away.

April started quietly and on Saturday the 3rd I drove up to Wegman's to pick up some yogurt. They sell their own brand 3 for $.99 which is a great price. Unfortunately, their supply was pretty depleted by the time I got there so I was disappointed. On the way home, I cut through a business complex near the Community Center to get to Main Street and saw this guy out walking.

I got close but he had a mask and I drove past.

I was lucky the next couple of days. The 4th was Easter Sunday and we had a small family get together. Then the 5th was my first Granddaughter's 6th Birthday and we were back together as a family. Those two days really helped me get back to a reasonable sense of normalcy.

I called the dentist's office the following day to get some answers but he was on vacation.

 There was nothing to do until the following week except errands. We were having a stretch of warm, sunny days where people were out.

Some without masks. Annoying.

I called the dentist back on the 13th and he said he couldn't do anything but did refer me to an Oral Surgeon. The earliest appointment I could get was the 24th. 

Now we were in a stretch of cloudy, rainy weather but some people were still out.

This guy was on a bike and wearing shorts on a chilly day but he had a mask. Still annoying.

Saturday the 17th, I drove down to the Library in Hazlet. They were having an outdoor Book Sale and, even though it was very windy out, I couldn't wait.

I took advantage of their $5 A Bag offer and picked up 15 books, 8 of which were YA's for my Daughter to have for her students. The ones I picked out for myself were mostly by writers I knew but I did take a chance on a few new ones. I was feeling good on the way home.

Monday the 19th, I drove down to New Brunswick for Blood Work. It was scheduled for 8 and I got there at 7:40. They actually took me early and I was done and out by 8:10. Add that to getting a good spot in the Parking Garage and free, validated parking and I felt good. I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts on Woodbridge Avenue for breakfast.

My appointment with the Oral Surgeon was on Wednesday the 21st at 11. I got there at 10:40 and wound up having to wait until 11:15 before I was called in by a Nurse. She took me in for x-rays then had me wait in another room for about 10 minutes until the Doctor came in. He took a look at the x-rays then at my mouth. Then he said he would have to speak with my dentist and radiologist before he could offer any solutions. he said he'd call in a few days. I left unsatisfied.

Yesterday, I went back to Wegman's and they'd obviously replenished their yogurt stock. I picked up a great variety that only cost me $5 for 15. Since I was nearby, I stopped at the Dollar Store to see if they had socks. This guy got out of his car and started walking in my direction as soon as I parked.

I didn't know him so I just sat there waiting. As he passed the front of my car he stopped. I thought he was checking out my license plate but he was only putting on his mask. He went on his way and so did I. Now I was getting paranoid.

Today it's raining but I was out early I wasn't the only one.

At least, I thought, I was in a car. I stopped at ShopRite and picked up a few things including the latest issues of my favorite Crossword Magazines. I felt good on the way home.

I've had my breakfast, read the paper, watered the plants, and changed the water in the Fish Bowl. I'm just lying here on the bed watching "Criminal Minds" and trying to decide which book I should read next. And I've been thinking. And I remembered some advice I'd gotten back in the early '80's when I was working at a Call Center. This one client used to call every month to check on the receipt of his Dividend payments but he always called a day early so I couldn't tell him what they were. I'd apologize and he'd say it's OK, that when things didn't go the way he wanted he'd do what the Chinese do when it rains. Of course, I'd have to ask what that was and he'd say he'd let it rain. Then he'd laugh, hang up, and call back the next day.

I'd forgotten about that but I'm remembering now and I understand it. When things don't go your way, especially when they are out of your control, you have to let them go. There's nothing you can do so stressing over them does you no good. 

That's what I'm going to try to do from now on whenever I get annoyed  - 

Let it rain.

 Something New ........

March started off quietly. It was warm one day then cold the next. It would be sunny then cloudy. It was like Mother Nature couldn't make up her mind. It didn't bother me, though. There wasn't much rain to deal with and no snow at all. I was able to go out again and I would stretch out my weekly errands so that I'd have something to do every day. I had the new round of radiation to deal with, but I'd dealt with it before. I had my second Covid shot scheduled but I'd gotten my first already so I knew where to go and what to expect. The only thing I was unsure of was a Dentist appointment coming up. I'd lost a tooth and I thought that I'd have to replace my partial lower denture with a full one. I don't like going to a dentist so I wasn't looking forward to that but I'd do it.

Wednesday, March the 3rd, I drove up to the Radiologist. I had an appointment for 11:30 to have some preliminary x-rays and a mask fitting. Afterwards, we agreed that I'd start my 25 sessions on the following Monday at 9:30. I was enjoying the drive back until this guy showed up.

I heard him coming before I saw him and he just cut in between me and the truck in front without any kind of signal. I was pissed, but there was nothing I could do except honk my horn. He just waved at me. 

I was early for my session on the 8th and they took me in quickly. It went just like the past sessions had except that the mask was very tight. I probably should've said something but I didn't. I figured that I could put up with it for the 10 minutes a day. I took a different route towards home, stopping at the Fresh Grocer on Inman to see if they had the Ham Salad I like. They didn't. Back in my car, I was slightly annoyed and my jaw was sore and I drove on. That's when I saw this guy.

No mask and out here all alone. Wrong place, wrong time.

Point, press, Flash.

I felt better.

Tuesday the 9th, I was at my Radiologist's office early again. This time, I had to wait but that was OK. I always have a book with me. I stopped at Shoprite and picked up the paper and some food. I went home, ate , read the paper, and did the crossword puzzles. Then I walked across the street to my Dentist for my 12:10 appointment. I've lived across from his office for a long time and have come to know several of his staff members. They took x-rays and he probed around for a bit. Then he gave me the news. I have Osteonecrosis of the Jaw. Probably due to the Radiation treatments I've had, the Chemo I went through, and several of the meds I've taken over the years. He said he couldn't do anything for now and would wait until I spoke to the Radiologist. He did give me 3 scrips to have filled.

Wednesday I went up for my scheduled Radiation session but asked to speak to the Doctor instead. I explained what I had been told and he actually called the Dentist to get the specifics. We agreed to postpone treatments and that I would come back in 3 weeks to see how things were. From there, I drove up to the Walmart to fill my prescriptions. I had to wait 1/2 an hour and got 2 out of the 3. The 3rd one they had to call the Dentist for personally. I didn't understand that but what could I do. On the way out of the lot, I noticed this.

I was in just the mood for it.

Point, press, Flash.

I was pretty sure the carrier wouldn't work but I was unsure of the cars. I guess it didn't matter.

The next day, the 11th, I went back for the third scrip. Turns out it was a Lidocaine Mouth Rinse - a local anesthetic to numb the tooth ache. Now I knew why they had to call the Dentist themselves.

That Sunday was the 14th and the start of Daylight Savings Time. I had set the clocks ahead the night before so the only shock was that it was dark when I woke. I stayed in bed a bit longer then usual but the sunlight and warmth were just too inviting. I got dressed and went out for a drive. I passed this guy along the way.

Looked like he was also out enjoying himself. I drove on.

Tuesday the 16th, a friend drove me to the Convention Center in Edison for my 2nd Covid shot. the process went more smoothly then the last time and I was done in 45 minutes including the mandatory 15 minute waiting period. Wednesday was St. Patrick's Day but there was no parade this year and it passed quietly. There had been some worry about a reaction to the vaccine but I had none.

Yesterday was the First Day of Spring and another beautiful day. I went out looking forward to enjoying it. That's when I saw this.

Not only was he parked illegally but he didn't leave me much space to get out. It was pretty open out here and it was very close to home but it was also pretty early and pretty bright. I took a chance.

Point, press, Flash 

It took me a couple of tries but I got out. I picked up a few things, taking the long way between stops, and just enjoying things. That SUV was still there when I got home.

Today was just like yesterday and I enjoyed it. I picked up the paper and a Breakfast Bowl and spent a quiet afternoon watching TV, doing crossword puzzles, reading, napping, and snacking. Just now, I went into the Living Room to feed my fish and took a look out the window.

The SUV was still there.

 I didn't know if the owner had been out to it or not but I was pretty sure he wouldn't be happy when he tried to start it. I'll check again in the morning.

It's a new month and a new season. It seems that no matter how I plan ahead - and no matter what for - I always wind up having to change things around. 

It seems that there's always something new.

 I'll Take This Every Time ......

I started the month with a positive attitude but it hasn't been easy trying to get back to some semblance of normal. It's bad enough that we're all still coping with the Pandemic but then Mother Nature decided to bless us with a massive snow storm.

I had an appointment with my Radiologist on Monday, February 1st which they cancelled. Then I had an appointment at the Dermatologist in Clark on the 2nd which also got cancelled. All I could do was keep looking out the window and shaking my head.

By  the 3rd, the streets had been plowed and the sidewalk had been cleared. I grabbed my shovel and went to dig out/clean off my car.

One look and I knew that wasn't going to happen.

I went back inside, logged into my laptop and checked out a local Woodbridge page on Facebook. I found a guy who would take care of my car. He came around 6 PM with 2 other guys and had me taken care of in 20 minutes.

The best $50 I've ever spent.

Every day since then has been cold and cloudy with snow, rain, or a mixture of both. I was reluctant to move the car because I didn't want to lose the spot but I really needed to pick up some stuff.

I went out on Friday the 5th and gingerly drove through the back streets until I got to Rahway which was much clearer. I stopped at Dunkin's for a hot coffee and noticed this guy.

It was very cold but he didn't seem to mind. He was just sitting there checking his phone without a mask on. Unfortunately, we were out in the open. I went in, got my coffee, and left.

 Tuesday the 9th, a friend drove me up to Clark for the Mohs process. It's a way of dealing with a carcinoma on the side of my face that my regular Dermatologist couldn't handle. I found out that it would take 4 to 6 hours with repeated injections of a local anesthetic and might still require surgery and a  plastic surgeon. After that, I'd have to have radiation. I decided to postpone the treatment and wait and see what my Radiologist had to say.

Another stretch of bad weather kept me home more often then not for the next week or so. I did take quick trips to pick up food but I was never out long. All the parking lots were bracketed by large walls of snow...

and there were very few people out walking, jogging, etc., except for a few annoyed looking individuals I saw walking their dogs. I spent a lot of  the time reading, doing crossword puzzles, snacking, and napping.

Wednesday the 17th I went to the Radiologist. He agreed that his was the best course of action but wanted me to get a CT scan of my face and neck first. We scheduled it for the upcoming Monday at RWJ in Rahway. 

The next day, Friday the 18th, I stopped at Dunkin's again and  noticed this red car.

This time it was a couple of guys just having their breakfast but inside like normal people.  I bought my coffee and a Blueberry Muffin, toasted, with butter.

Sunday the 20th was different. the sun was shining and it felt warmer. I couldn't wait to get outside. I drove around slowly, listening to the radio and just enjoying the day. I still didn't come across anyone but I did notice that some people still hadn't dug out their cars since the beginning of the month.

I'm guessing they're gonna have some real problems when the cars are finally clear.

That Monday, the 22, I drove up to Rahway for my 12:30 CT Scan. It wasn't as sunny but it was still warm.  On the way up I noticed this guy.

I had to smile. Here was another guy who couldn't wait to get out of the house.

Tuesday the 23rd I drove over to the Convention Center in Edison to get my 1st Covid shot.

There was a long line but it moved quickly and I was out in just under an hour including the mandatory 15 minute wait period. It had rained a little while I was inside but it was nicer now.

Wednesday the 24th I was back at the radiologist. He said that the CT scan was clean which meant the carcinoma was localized and we agreed that I'd come back the following Wednesday to start the process.

Thursday the 25th was another beautiful, sunny day and I started seeing others out and about.

Today is another crisp, clear, sunny day. I was going to do my wash but put it off until tomorrow. Instead, I decided to hit a few supermarkets to stock up on a few items. I took my time, heading down Main Street to Wegman's for their yogurt special. Up ahead I saw this guy crossing the street.

He didn't seem to be in any hurry. He wasn't wearing a mask but he was too far away for me to do anything. I dropped the yogurt off at my place then headed up Rahway towards ShopRite. I saw this guy heading towards me.

Another no-masker but this time I could act.

Point, press, Flash.

I continued on my way thinking "Was this how it's gonna be? I know that most people found masks have been helpful during the cold weather we had but will they stop now that it's getting warmer?" I hope not.  I picked up some sale items and went home.

Sure, I'm looking at about 8 weeks of radiation treatment, my 2nd Covid shot, and some blood work coming up. Nothing I haven't done before and nothing that starts for at least 5 more days.

Sure there are other things that are still up in the air. I haven't heard from Doyle or Murphy; Jones hasn't contacted me or sent Welles to tell me anything; and, as far as I know, Gordon is still out there.

None of that matters. 

The sun is out, the air is warm, the snow is melting, the radio station is playing some great tunes from back in the day, and people are outside again - including me. 

I'll take this every time.

 Some Days You're Not Happy, Some Days You Are ............

I've been thinking back over the last few months and I've realized something - I let it get to me. Maybe it was the Pandemic. Maybe it was the Political Situation. Maybe it was my Personal Situation. Maybe it was Seasonal Affectedness Disorder. Whatever it was, I let it get to me.

I was staying home more. I wasn't reading as much but was doing a lot of Crossword Puzzles just to keep my mind occupied. I was napping more in the afternoons which kept me up late at night. 

I wasn't being me and I wasn't happy. That had to change.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a New Year and, although I don't usually make Resolutions, I did decide to get things back to normal. First thing, I put the small, bronze "NOW" coin in a drawer so I wouldn't obsess over it. Secondly, I mapped out how my month would go taking into account the several Medical Appointments I had. Then I got about doing things.

These started right away on Monday, January the 4th with a visit to my Dermatologist. It was flurrying a little as I left my place.

It was annoying, but not enough to cause a problem. At the Doctor's, he explained that the skin cancer on my right jaw (that I thought he'd taken care of) was worse then he thought. He had to slice in again and, this time, put in stitches. I wasn't happy but I wasn't gonna let it get to me.

The next day I had a haircut scheduled for 8:30 at my guy's on Main Street. I took a quick run afterwards to ShopRite then dropped off my car at the mechanics. The brake Light had been coming on even though they felt good but I didn't want to take any chances. I got it back 2 days later and it cost me $570. I wasn't happy but I'd gotten the $600 Stimulus Money so it didn't hurt too bad.

Monday the 11th, I was back at the mechanic. While I was driving around I found my foot going all the way down to the floor board before it would stop. He looked under the hood and said there was a leak. He then put it up on a lift inside the garage to show me better.

I could see what and where the problem was and left it. He had it ready later on and I walked back up. Another $115. Again, not happy but at least I wouldn't have to worry.

Thursday the 14th, I was back at the Dermatologist's to have the stitches removed. He told me that it would required more extensive work and that I'd have to get someone to drive me to their Medical Building in Clarke to do what's called a Mohs Procedure. We scheduled it for Tuesday, February 2nd. I was annoyed again but what could I do.

Tuesday the 19th, I drove down to New Brunswick for Blood Work. I was in and out quickly, the sun was shining, the car was running smoothly, and I was feeling good. I decided to treat myself.

I stopped at Denny's to get their Senior Omelet for Take Out. It wasn't as good as I remembered but what ever is? I was happy.

Monday the 25th, I had a follow-up with the Gastroenterologist. On my way there, I noticed that even the side streets had the tell-tale lines visible.

They had been brined in preparation for the predicted snow storm the following day. The doctor said everything was going well and to come back in 6 months.

That next day, I had a 9:15 appointment with the Radiologist and drove up to Rahway. They took some blood to check me PSA Level as a follow-up to the treatment last year for Prostate Cancer. I went home but wasn't there long. I had a 1:30 appointment with the Urologist in Edison. By then, it was snowing but not heavily.

He didn't have to do the PSA Test since I'd had it done already but he did do the Prostate Exam. He had a scrip called in to my Pharmacy to help with some discomfort I've been experiencing. Not happy but I was expecting it.

This morning it was cold but sunny and I was feeling good. I stopped for gas at a Quick Chek in Avenel.

I went to Walmart's Pharmacy to pick up the scrip that was ready. I stopped at McDonald's for Pancakes to bring home for breakfast.

The new owners of my building have a couple of crews working and it's noisy in the Living Room. The Bedroom, however, is quiet and I've been stretched out after breakfast watching reruns of "Blue Bloods" on TV. I'm happy.

That's how it goes I guess. Some days you're not happy, some days you are.

 All I Can Do .........

Since I had the conversation with Murph I've been staying close to home. If Doyle had nothing to do with the "NOW" disc, who did? At first, I was thinking it might be Jones trying to motivate me but one night I realized that there was someone else in this game - a forgotten player - Gordon. I spent the rest of the night turning that over and over in my head.  Gordon wanted me back too although I don't know his reasons. it did made a strange sort of sense though. 

I spent most of the next few days staying close to home trying to figure things out but got nowhere. Then I  had places I needed to be and put the problem on hold.

Wednesday the 9th, I had a 9:45 appointment with my dermatologist. I had the time so I took the long way and came across this guy. 

I thought I could see a mask so I passed on. At the dermatologist's, the recent removal site looked good but the previous one was infected. I got several shots of lidocaine before he sliced it open. Then a bandage, some ointment, and a follow up in January.

Friday the 11th, I had a 2:00 with my gastroenterologist. I've been having some issues lately and he wound up scheduling a colonoscopy for the 17th. I had a Covid test taken with results due before the procedure.

The weekend was quiet and I ran whatever errands I had quickly.

Wednesday the 16th, I drove down to RWJ New Brunswick. I had blood work scheduled for 8 AM and a visit with the cardiologist for 9. Things went quickly and I was in my car just leaving the parking garage when the phone rang. The Covid test was negative but the colonoscopy was being rescheduled for the 29th due to the pending snow storm. I would also have to redo the Covid test on the 24th. I also got a call later from the cardiologist because my tach level was low and I should increase the dose of a particular immunosuppressant then go back for more blood work on the 22nd.

This time the weather people got it right. we got about 6 inches that night and I stayed in the next day.

Friday the 18th, the sidewalks had been shoveled and the plows had gone through several times. I went out and checked on my car. she was plowed in tight and it felt like all ice. I cleaned her off anyway and then walked to the nearby Walgreens. On the way, I saw this. shovel.

I decided to wait a few days before digging out.

By Sunday, it had warmed up and a lot of the ice had melted. I went back out to the car with my shovel but stopped.

The guy behind me had pulled out and I was able to back out from where I was then park across the street.

What I thought was going to take a long time and a lot of effort turned out to be really easy. Sometimes you get lucky.

On the 22nd, I went back down to RWJ for the follow-up blood work. The door connecting the parking lot to the building was closed and I had to walk outside and use the front entrance.

They were expecting me so I was in and out quickly.

Today I went back for the second Covid test. They use a spit test rather then the nose swab which isn't as uncomfortable but takes me longer because of the dry-mouth condition that I deal with.  On the way out of the lot  I stopped before leaving because I got a call from my cardiologist. My level was good now but they're concerned about my blood pressure and cholesterol. They called in a couple of scrips to my pharmacy and set me up for another follow up blood test in January.

As I sat there listening to this, I noticed this guy heading towards me.

No mask but we were out in the open and I couldn't do anything.

I drove home.

Tomorrow is Christmas and I'll be with family and try to forget the stuff I'm going to have to deal with starting next week. I'll take them as they come and I'll cope with them. 

It's all I can do.

Now ...... What?

 I puzzled over the small, bronze-colored "NOW" disk that I got - I assumed - from Doyle for a few days but I had appointments to keep and errands to run. I decided to put it into the fob pocket on my jeans and carry it with me. I don't know why but I figured why not?

Thursday, October 29th, I had an appointment at my ENT's office for a Hearing Test. I knew what the outcome would be - I have a partial loss in my left ear so I overcompensate with my right. I went anyway. You never know. It was raining on and off, heavily at times, but I got a good spot in the back lot close to the door. On my way in, I noticed these window ornaments on both sides - 

Frogs. Perfect decorations for the weather. I got the expected results and, since I was in Edison and close by, I swung by Stop N Shop. They had the Shepard's Pie that I like so it was worth the detour.

Saturday the 31st was Halloween. It was sunny out, but pretty cold. On my way to my car I picked up this little beauty from off the curb.

How it got there and why it was with a rose I don't know but I think they look pretty cool together and, after all, it was Halloween. 

Sunday was the 1st of November and it was raining again. I was up early so I went to the 7:30 Mass. Afterwards, I stopped at Shoprite to get the paper and some other stuff. When I got back into my car, the lights on the white SUV across from me came on then blinked several times. 

I waited. Someone got out and walked over to me.

Wells.

He had a mask on but no hat and the rain was running down both sides of his face. He didn't seem to notice. I pulled up my mask and opened the window enough so we could hear each other.

"Wells! Good to see you. Looks like you've survived the Covid virus."

"Thank you, Mr. O'Neill. It was a rough couple of weeks but I've tested negative every day for the last week."

"Every day?"

"Yes. Department Regulations. Everyone gets tested daily."

"Even Jones?"

"Mr. Jones does not confide in me about his daily routine. He has, however, instructed me to tell you that he's glad to know that you are doing better and would like to know what you plan on doing ... now."

I was sort of expecting something like this but Wells' emphasis on "now" caught me off-guard. I could feel the brass coin in my pocket. I had to say something. 

"He'll be the first to know."

Then I grinned at him and shut the window. Wells didn't react but stared at me for a minute or two. Then he nodded, turned around, and walked back to his car.

Why did he say it like that? Was he trying to tell me something? Was I reading too much into this? I don't know and I wasn't gonna figure it out sitting here in the car. I drove home, ate breakfast, and read the Sunday paper.

The days were pretty similar for the next couple of weeks. I had no appointments to go to but I continued to go out every morning. The weather was still unsettled with rain on and off, mostly in the mornings. I was usually out in it and would get back as it cleared up.

The township continued on with it's business as usual regardless. From street sweeping - 

- to watering the plants on Main Street -

People continued to disregard the rules, walking around without masks - 

- or wearing them below their mouths like the guy I saw collecting for some charity by Wegmans - 

Wednesday the 18th, I had a follow-up at 9:30 with my Dermatologist. While I was warming up my car I saw this guy

Another one of those strange people that every neighborhood has. I could see a weird kind of mask hanging from around his neck. At least, I thought it was a mask. 

The doctor took one look at the spot on my face where he'd removed a cancerous growth and said it was infected - which is what I suspected. He sent a scrip for an antibiotic to my Pharmacist and scheduled another follow -up in 3 weeks.

Tuesday the 24rd started out with a bright, sunny morning. It was a personal Anniversary for me - the 12th year since I'd received my new heart - the heart that got me into this whole situation. I got some congratulatory calls/emails/texts which were appreciated but there was no plan for a celebration. Wanting to do something, I got in my car and just drove around. I wound up at my local Church and decided to stop in. 

I felt good driving home.

Thursday the 26th was Thanksgiving Day. Usually I travel with my NJ family to get together with our NY family somewhere. Not this year. We kept it local and we kept it small. And it was good.

Today is Saturday and I slept in slightly. I was still out by 8:30 and stopped at my local Dunkin's as usual. There were 2 older guys sitting maskless at a small table outside, chatting and drinking coffee. I picked up my iced coffee and bought a Coffee Roll to eat in the car. When I came out, I could clearly hear the 2 guys talking about the new Rain Garden being built by the Main Library.

I bought a few things at a few places then stopped at ShopRite to finish up. I even found something else to give to my Granddaughter for Christmas. Feeling good about that, I got back to my car and decided to check out that Rain Garden I'd heard about, made the turn towards the Library, and parked in their Lot. 

To be honest, there isn't much there yet, just a dredged out section of the slope leading down to the High School Parking Lot. It's covered by some kind of netting which, I think, is supposed to keep the seeds from washing away. What is there is an interesting Butterfly Statue that I wanted to get a closer look at. I turned the car off, got out, and made my way down the slope. It was slow going because of the slippery, muddy ground.

It's very colorful and covered by what appears to be recyclable material. Very apropos I thought. As I was turning to walk back up, a voice called out from the Lot.

"Be careful where you're walking, Mr. O'Neill. It looks pretty tricky."

I looked up and saw an older man standing by my car. He was one of those guys I'd seen at Dunkin's earlier. He seemed a bit nervous.

"Do I know you?" I called back.

"No. But we have a mutual friend who asked me to look out for you."

"Who?"

"Doyle."

"Doyle? You know Doyle?"

"Yeah. We used to work together. That was a long time ago."

I had reached the Lot by now and saw that he was pretty imposing looking though definitely older then me.

"You worked with Doyle in the DHS?"

"No. I retired before that happened. I knew him when we were Feds together." He paused, lowered his head, nodded to himself, and spoke again.

"He sent me a package with a letter asking me to keep track of you and make sure you were alright."

"I don't understand. A package? Keep track of me?"

He smiled. "Yeah. He sent me a hand-held unit so I could monitor your implant. That Tracker thing. I figured why not. It wasn't like I had to interfere with whatever you do. Looks like I was wrong."

"You were one of those guys outside of Dunkin's this morning, weren't you? That wasn't just a coincidence, was it?"

"No. I was pretty sure you'd be there, if not today then tomorrow or the next day. I was willing to go back until you showed up." 

"Why?'

'Doyle called me Friday and wanted me to give you a message." He paused again, looking skeptical.

"What? what was the message?"

"Well, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me but he specifically said "Tell him I didn't send anything. I didn't send 'NOW'. Does that make any sense to you?"

It was my turn to pause and I leaned against my car, pulling the brass coin from my pocket. He'd said "I didn't send 'NOW'." But who did? And Why?  Too many questions and no answers. I looked back at the man. 

"No, it doesn't make sense but I understand what he's referring to. Thanks Mr. .. I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

"You can call me Murph. Everybody does." He said with a smile.

I smiled back. "OK then. Thanks, Murph. So - what happens now?"

"I continue to keep my eye on the monitor, I owe Doyle that much. And I'll try to stay out of your way."

"Thanks. Is there a way for you to get in touch with Doyle?"

"No. It looks like he used a drop phone. I'm in the dark there."

'How about a way for me to get in touch with you?"

Hw thought that over for a bit. "I think, for now, I'll keep my distance. I don't like getting involved with things I don't know anything about. Fact is, I'm not too happy about being here now but, like I said, I owe Doyle."

He sort of shook himself as if he were cold, adjusted his cap, mask, and coat and looked towards the High School. He waved and I heard a car start up. That's when I noticed that mine was the only one in this Lot.

"Time for me to go, Mr. O'Neill. Take care of yourself." 

"Denny. Call me Denny."

"Denny it is then." He said with a quick laugh. 'See you when I see you." He tipped his cap slightly, turned, and walked down to the waiting car.

I watched him as he got in and drove away. It was starting to cloud over. An apt simile for what was happening to me, I thought. I looked at the coin, turning it over and over in my hand. I believed what Murph said. Doyle didn't send this. But if he didn't, then who did? And how did he know about it? And was Wells' reference to the word "now" the other day some kind of hint. Did he know what this was all about? I didn't know and I didn't know how to find out.

All I can think about is NOW ... What?