Two Steps Forward, One Step Back ……….

After all of the hassles I had to deal with while going through the treatments, my schedule had lightened up in late February. I was looking forward to some quiet time and even thought I might get to sleep in a day or two. That didn't happen.

Wednesday, February 20th, I had a follow-up with the Radiologist at 9 AM so I headed out around 8. I was taking Green St. to Amboy when traffic was stopped by this Crossing Guard.

She's the reason I don't like these people. I know they serve a purpose but this women is arrogant and obnoxious waving her sign around and blowing her whistle. When I could finally go, I headed on my way but she'd thrown a damper on my day. At least there was nothing new at the Radiologists.

The following Wednesday, February 27th, I drove down to RWJ in New Brunswick. I had Blood Work scheduled for 8 AM and a meeting with a Nurse-Practitioner for 9. At 9:30, I started asking about my meeting and she finally showed up at 9:45. It was someone I hadn't dealt with in a long time and she seemed totally unprepared. I was surprised that she had some of my test results but annoyed that she wouldn't give me the important ones without checking with the doctor. Frustrated, I headed back home and stopped at Shoprite for a couple of things. That's where I saw this guy.

I wondered what he was doing way up there? Maybe the flag got snarled I thought.

Saturday, March 2nd, I had a follow-up with my ENT at 8:30 AM but I had to cancel because of snow. Of course, it melted pretty quickly.

I had to brush off the car but was able to get out and about by the afternoon.

Monday, the 4th, we had snow again and this time I had to do some digging to get out. Thankfully, they had cleared off Rahway Avenue and I was able to move my car to there.

Tuesday, the 5th, I woke up with a large blue spot taking up my entire field of vision. It faded to yellow in about a minute, then white. I went back to bed. When I got up again the spot was gone but I found that I couldn't hold anything in my right hand - I could pick something up but it would just fall out. Again, this only lasted a little while but the whole situation scared me. I wasn't sure which way to go with this so I spoke to a friend who recommended that I speak to my primary physician. I was able to make an appointment for the upcoming Saturday.

By Thursday, the 7th, I hadn't had another incident so I went out to pick up some food. Cutting through a strip mall in Avenel I noticed this guy parked by the side of one of the stores.

Judging by the remaining snow, he'd been there a while. He's not taking up any customer spaces so I drove by.

Saturday, the 9th, I drove up to Edison for my 9:30 AM appointment with my Primary Physician. I told her about the blue spot and the weakness in my wrist. She referred my to an Ophthalmologist and said I should get a brace. She also gave me a scrip for some blood work. I picked up the brace on the way home and left a message at the Ophthalmologist's. I made an appointment on-line with LabCorp for the blood work.

Monday, the 11th, I had a 1:00 appointment with my Gastroenterologist. His office is nearby and I cut through the back streets to get there. Along the way I saw this guy.

He was on the sidewalk and there was no one else around. I decided to leave him alone. As I drove past it occurred to me that I'd started to seriously consider Doyle's suggestion.

The Gastroenterologist checked me out and said everything looked good. We agreed to have the feeding tube taken out on April 2nd.

Saturday, the 16th, I went back to the ENT at 9:15 AM. He washed out the rest of the wax and said that everything looked good. One less thing to worry about.

Thursday, the 21st, I drove up to LabCorp for my 9:30 AM appointment..

They're in an Office Complex on Progress Street near my Primary. I had to wait longer then I expected but the process went smoothly.

Saturday, the 23rd, I was back at my Primary's office for my 10AM.  I waited for over 45 minutes before she could see me. By then, I was frustrated. She commented on my continued weight loss, insisted that I go back to using the food tube, up my banana intake, and add greens to my diet (peas, broccoli, cucumbers). She did have the test results and wasn't happy with my Glucose Level so she asked me to come back on the 29th and she would draw a blood sample herself.

Monday, the 25th, I went for my 9 AM with the Ophthalmologist.

I explained about the blue spot and glossed over the wrist problem. He checked me out and had a Technician run me through some eye tests involving lights. While these were going on, I started to see yellow spots, I could feel a numbness in my wrist, and my right leg started to shake. I told the doctor and he said that he didn't find anything out of the ordinary and suggested I see a Neurologist.

The next day, I called and cancelled the removal of the food tube. I also called my Radiologist to get a reference for a Neurologist. I checked out the name they gave me and his reviews were mediocre at best. I'll wait until Friday and see if I can get a name from my Primary.

I thought that things were getting better, winding down. Instead, it seems I might have some more medical stuff in my future.

Two steps forward, one step back.

It's Only A Matter Of Time ……………

What's that saying from the "Godfather" movies -  "Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in."? Well, that's what Doyle seemed to refer to when we met a couple of weeks ago. It took me some time to wean myself off of using the Flasher so that now I only use it on cars, busses, and such. I'm not sure that I can go back. But I don't have time to think about it because I'm still juggling doctors' appointments and I'm now dealing with side effects from the treatments.

Tuesday, January 29th, I got a ride down to RWJ New Brunswick. I was scheduled for an Echo cardiogram, a Chest X-ray, and a Bone Density Scan. The tests were scheduled in different rooms at different times but they went quickly and my ride picked me up about 4 hours later.

Wednesday, the 30th, I met with the Radiologist at 9:15. He said everything was looking good and I brought up one of the side effects I was experiencing. My goatee fell out early in the treatment along with the hair on the back of my head. My moustache was pretty much gone by the end. Now the rest of my hair is thinning rapidly. All he could say was that it happens some times. Not a lot of help.

 I drove down Jefferson and made a right on Inman. I cut through a strip mall on my way to the Oncologist.

I'm not a big fan of drivers taking up multiple spaces but this guy was parked way over on the side and I was in a hurry.

The Oncologist looked me over and said everything looked good. I discussed my side effects with him, specifically Insomnia. He gave me a prescription which I filled right away. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but at least it's something.

Monday, February 4th, I woke up with an earache. It was too early to call my ENT so I got ready for the day. Just after 9, I got a call from my Gastroenterologist that they'd have to cancel my appointment and we rescheduled. I called my ENT after 10 and got the answering machine. He's decided to take a Leave of Absence from his practice. He left a number and name for someone who'd be covering for him. I looked the referenced guy up but didn't like the reviews. I wound up getting a name from my Radiologist and made an appointment. That afternoon, I got a call from my Cardiologist's office. There were things going on that she couldn't talk about (personnel issues I think) and I agreed to move my appointment from the 6th to the 27th.

Saturday, the 9th, I went up to my appointment with the new ENT. His office was in a pretty fancy building.

He seemed like a nice guy and, after a quick examination, said that it was probably ear-wax buildup (a problem I've dealt with before). He prescribed ear drops, 3 times a day, and I scheduled a follow up for 3 weeks.

Sunday, the 10th, I woke up feeling good. I had nothing on the schedule until the end of the week so I decided to take care of some unfinished business. Back when I went through my transplant experience there were a couple of close relatives who had the keys to my apartment. When this whole cancer treatment thing came up, I checked with them and they both seem to have lost them. Under the circumstances, I decided to get replacements. I'd seen a machine in the front entrance to Walmart that would do it but I was a little leery about it. I drove to the Home Depot in Avenel.

It took a while to get someone to actually work the machine. I got 2 sets of the 3 keys needed and I picked up a couple of key chains too.

The keys to the vestibule door worked. The keys to my apartment didn't. They stuck going in and they wouldn't turn.

Monday, the 11th, I went back to the Home Depot. I thought they might try to rebuff the keys but they just refunded the money. My only option was the machine.

I made both sets and they worked perfectly.

Friday, the 15th, I had the rescheduled appointment with the Gastroenterologist.

He was a little late but he took a thorough look and liked what he saw but felt that I should leave the tube in another month. I was OK with that.

Yesterday I woke up early and irritable which, apparently, is another side effect of the cancer treatments. I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed because I had to go up to Avenel to let a friend's dog out. It's an arrangement that we've had for years. As I started out this guy decided to cross in front of me while I was stopped.

He took his time and I found myself getting annoyed. My left hand itched and I thought about what Doyle had said.

This morning I went to let the dog out again then drove to Shoprite to get my Lottery tickets and pick up a few things. On the way out I noticed this guy.

He was wearing shorts. There's salt on the ground in anticipation of snow and he's wearing shorts. I was really tempted but I drove home instead.

As I ate breakfast I realized it was only a matter of time.

There's Always Something ………………

My last Chemo session was on Friday, December 28th. As usual, I got there before 9 and left after 3. This time I made sure to get Breakfast AND Lunch. The staff I dealt with were friendly and efficient but I can't say I'm sorry to be out of there.

My last Radiology session was on Thursday, January 3rd. I was there at 7:45 and was done by 8:30. Again, great people but I'm happy it's over.

The Radiology office is next to RWJ Hospital in Rahway (where I had the Chemo) and they're located in a residential area. After my last session I drove around there a little while just enjoying my freedom. I passed by this woman out on her morning routine.

"Good for her.", I thought as I drove by, "She's free to do what she wants to now, too."

Of course, I still had some follow-ups to do. The first of these was on Monday the 7th with the Gastroenterologist who put in my Food Tube. I drove up Main Street and was going to make the right onto Amboy Avenue when I got stuck at the light. Because it was early, there was a Crossing Guard on duty.

I usually don't like these people. I find most of them take advantage of their Stop Signs and whistles because they get to control the rest of us who are just trying to get somewhere. Not this guy. Charlie - I call him Charlie though I've never met him. He understands how the traffic lights work and I've seen him hold off some pedestrians so that cars can make left turns. I tipped my hat to him as I made my turn.

The Doc checked me out and figured I'd have another month, maybe, before the tube comes out. I can handle that.

Wednesday, the 9th, I had a follow-up with the Radiologist. Everything was good and I even put on a little weight. On the way back along St. George Avenue I cut through a Krauser's lot which would get me closer to where I was heading. That's where I saw this.

I've seen other trucks take up more then 1 space. I've even seen school buses do it. This is my first Mail Truck. Since the only mail I get consists of junk or bills I had no problem doing what I was about to do.

Point, press, Flash.

I went on my way.

I had nothing scheduled for 2 1/2 weeks so my plan was to do short hops for food and just take it easy. That didn't last long.

Wednesday, the 16th, I was out. It was a bit warmer and sunny so I decided to go on a Library run. I picked up some coffee and a muffin from Dunkin' and headed out. I'd been to the Woodbridge Library recently so I skipped it. I was at the North Edison Library a little after they opened at 9:30.

There was nothing of interest there so I moved on.

I got to the Metuchen Library about 10 minutes before they opened so I sat in the car and finished my breakfast.

I picked up 4 paperbacks at $.50 apiece. That made it a productive day.

There was a potential snow storm predicted for Thursday night through Friday morning , the 17th to the 18th, but the forecast wasn't calling for much of an impact. I popped out quickly to pick up a few things. Turned out all we got was a dusting that was easy enough to brush off the car. The streets were clear so I headed out. That's when I got the text from Doyle.

I hadn't seen him in months but he had been in touch every other day or so during my treatments via texts and phone calls. This time he wanted to meet in a strip mall parking lot on Avenel Street. This was unusual since he was the one who'd pop in on me. I headed there right away. I pulled in and saw one of those ubiquitous black SUVs that seem to be popular with government types.

As I parked, Doyle jumped out of the passenger side and came over. The SUV was running. He got in and stuck out his hand. We shook.
"How're ya, Den? Lose weight?"
"Funny. I'd laugh but it would pull the tape around my feeding tube,"
"Oh .. sorry.. I didn't think.. I was just trying to make a joke."
I grinned at him. "Me too."

He laughed then I laughed. He sobered up quickly though.

"It's good to finally get to see you, Den. From what I understand the carcinoma is gone so you're 3 for 3."
"I guess you could look at it that way. I'm just happy it's over. This was really grueling."
"I won't lie, I can't imagine. But you seem to be bouncing back well. I understand the facial rash should clear up in another couple of weeks."
"Yeah, I'm using a topical antibiotic and it's looking better. Too bad I can't do anything about the hair loss."
"Sorry. That I can imagine and I sympathize." His phone buzzed. He looked at it for a second then put it away.
"I can't stay any longer, Den. We're heading down to DC. "Someone" has been busy tweeting again and we're very short-handed because of the shut down."
"Now it's me who can understand."
"There's another reason for going there .. Gordon has been active again. He's been popping up at various Trump locations from Florida to New Jersey. This morning his signal came up in DC. We don't have anything specific since he hasn't done anything but we can't be too careful."
"Wow. Is there anything I can do?"

He fidgeted a little in his seat then said, "Actually there is. We want you to go back to using the Flasher again. Not just on trucks or cars but … you know."
"Why? I've gotten used to the way things are."
He turned to look at me. "The shrinks think that Gordon went underground because you did. They think that if you go back, he'll go back. They think that after all this time he might get sloppy. It's worth a shot."
"I don't know, Doyle. I'm not sure I can."
His phone buzzed again. "Just think about it for now, Den. I'm sorry but I have to go."

We shook hands again - maybe a little longer this time. He got out, went to the SUV, and they drove away. I went home.

The forecast for Saturday into Sunday, the 19th into the 20th, was for a significant snow event. They kept modifying it so that by the time I got up this morning all we had was rain. Right now the sun is out. Tomorrow is supposed to be very cold so I think I'll just stay home and think about things.

You can get past some stuff but there's always something.

It's Almost Over Now …………..

The family took me out for breakfast late last month to celebrate my 10-year transplant anniversary. I was still having trouble swallowing but I thought that soft-boiled eggs might be manageable. Unfortunately, the waitress had no idea what I was talking about. She checked with the manager and came back to tell me they don't do them.

Someone suggested Poached Eggs and everyone agreed that they were just the same. They weren't. I drank a lot of tea. Then someone else suggested that I get a Milk Shake on the way home - it would be tasty and filling. I stopped at the local Carvel's for a Vanilla one.

It was great!

On the following Monday, after Radiation, I stopped at a Burger King's for a Chocolate Shake. It was OK but the Vanilla was better. That Wednesday, a friend stopped by with a Coffee Shake which I didn't care for. I was planning on picking one up every now and then when things took a bad turn. I developed severe stomach cramps which the doctor's blamed on the milk (I really hadn't had any for a long time). So much for Shakes.
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I had spoken to the nurses at the Radiology Office about the Food Tube and they set me up with an appointment for Friday, the 30th, at 2:45 which I would go to after Chemo. After Radiation that morning, I drove to the Hospital (3 minutes), parked, and went inside like I have been doing every Friday. I went to the Front Desk and told them I was there for Outpatient Infusion. They didn't ask for any identification or proof just gave me a badge to wear.

I could wander around the hospital all day and potentially steal stuff and no one would question me. And, when I'm done, I turn in the badge and they give me a free pass for the parking.

The Chemo went well and I made it to the Gastroenterologist on time. His opinion was that since I was so far along, I didn't need the tube. I mentioned this to the nurses on the following Monday and they just set me up with someone else.

I met with him and we agreed to do the surgery on the Monday the17th. 

 Starting on Monday, the 10th, a friend would pick me up each day for whatever treatment I was going to. This was a huge help because I was starting to tire very easily. (And she helped me do whatever shopping I needed to get done.)

Friday, the 14th, I was back for Chemo and this older man was already in one of the chairs and all hooked up. 

We were on opposite sides of the room so I didn't get to talk to him but I did hear him say that he was 94 and he was wearing a hat that said "Okinawa Vet". Every once in a while a life lesson pops up. I didn't feel so bad about what I was going through.

On the 17th, my Daughter drove me to Radiation then the Hospital. We parked in the lot.

I registered and we went up to Same-day Surgery. this is on the same floor as Outpatient Infusion so I knew a few of the nurses. They brought me up around 10 and I was back (after waking from the anesthesia) about 11:20. Then things went downhill. No one would tell me how to use the tube and I had to wait for a Dietician - which took an hour and a half. Then I had to wait for a Case Manager so a Visiting Nurse could come out to show me what to do. When he showed up - 45 minutes later - he said they wouldn't send anyone out for something as simple as this.

I wound up going back to the nurses at the Radiology Office who gave me the injection system and showed me how to use it. 

It's not complicated.

(To step back a bit, one of the reasons I agreed to the tube was because the nurses told me my insurance would cover the expense of the nutrition drinks. They won't. I have to make my own arrangements.)

I've been using the tube now 4times a day (roughly every 3 hours). At first, I spilled a lot but I've got it down pat now. This is how I see it.

I'll probably be using the tube for at least a month but my treatments are coming to a close. I've got 4 more Radiation treatments and 1 more Chemo. I am feeling stronger.

It's almost over now.

Down The Rabbit Hole …………….

Besides the radiology and chemo work coming up, I still had a few other doctor follow-ups.

Monday the 22nd, I had an appointment with my Urologist. He'd had me take a Prostate MRI but he never got back to me with the answer. I pulled up in front early.

I got lucky and actually got to see the doctor instead of his assistant. We discussed the MRI and he said that things looked much better then they did after my last biopsy. I felt good when I left.

One less thing to worry about.

Thursday the 25th I was back at the Radiologist's for a test run. They bolted me down to the table and ran through the sequence. My head is bent back at an angle and I have to gulp down my saliva. Near the end something went wrong and I started to cough convulsively. They came right in and got me up to where I could breathe again.

I decided to stop at a couple of libraries on the way home. Coming out of the Iselin Branch, I saw this guy across the street.

It looked like he was trying to get into his car through the passenger side window. Must've locked his keys in. Sorry.

Friday the 26th, I started the chemo. I was told that the first session would take 2 hours and the subsequent ones would be an hour. They forgot to mention the amount of time it takes to set up. Then there's the blood work that they do and I have to wait for the results. Then there's the Benadryl drip that takes 20 minutes. Then there's the Magnesium drip that takes an hour. Then, assuming the meds are there, the Nurse has to find another Nurse to verify that I'm the guy whose supposed to get this med. Here's where the 2 hours comes in. I was there at 8:45and left at 2:15. At least I got a free lunch.

Tuesday the 6th, I had my radiology treatment at 8:15 then drove down to Shoprite. I picked up some grapes for my Granddaughter and a large Iced Tea at the Dunkin Donuts kiosk. I ate a yoghurt in the car, picked up the paper, the drove down to do some babysitting. I pulled up out front and watched this one guy taking apart a sidewalk.

One guy!

Thursday the 8th, I stopped at Shoprite again (it's becoming part of the routine). I didn't even get out of the car, just ate my breakfast. That's where I saw this guy.

I watched him for a while but couldn't figure out what he was doing. I had babysitting to do so I drove away.

Thursday the 15th, the sky clouded over early. There was snow coming later on. In the parking lot I noticed this school bus.

This is one of my pet peeves and I was tempted but the haze would intensify the Flash and draw too much attention.

Tuesday the 20th, I had a follow-up with the oncologist. Everything looks good.

So far, due to the treatments, the hair on my chin is gone. My throat is sore and I'm having difficulty swallowing anything hard. The doctors both mentioned a Food Tube at the beginning of this whole process and I think I'm gonna talk to them about it tomorrow.


Once more down the rabbit hole.

Here I Go Again ………..

The month started off simply enough but went downhill fast.

Wednesday, the 3rd, I had a follow up appointment with my Dermatologist at 9:30 and he wound up taking off a small Carcinoma below my left eye which turned out to be benign.

Thursday, the 4th, I went to see an Allergist at 8:30. He ran a whole bunch of scratch tests but nothing turned up positive. He suggested that I switch from Allegra to Zyrtec. I did that and it seems to be working but now I'm stuck with a month's supply of Allegra.

Friday, the 5th, I got a call from my ENT's office that he wanted to see me. We agreed on Monday the 8th at 10:15. I hate when I get this kind of call and I'm left hanging over a weekend.

Saturday, the 6th, I went to see my Primary Physician at 9:00 for a check-up. No problems.

Monday, the 8th, I went to see my ENT. He actually showed up at 10:15 but still managed to keep me waiting for half an hour. The scan from last month showed some areas of concern in my right jaw and the lymph nodes on that side. He wanted to biopsy both areas and my immediate reaction was to put it off but I agreed to it anyway. He said he'd get the results in about 5 to 7 days. I got a call from his office on Wednesday the 10th that he wanted to see me.

I went back on Friday, the 12th at 10:30. The lymph nodes look good but there appeared to be a Squamous Cell Carcinoma along my right jaw line. He recommended going back to the Radiology Oncologist that I saw before and that I see another Oncologist for some potential Chemo. He gave me the disc of the scan and I made the appointments.

Monday, the 15th, I went to see the Radiology Oncologist at 1:00. I prefer to get things done in the morning but I had no choice. He checked out the scan and did a physical exam. Then he had his nurse set me up for a PET scan at RWJ in Rahway which is pretty close by. She managed to schedule it for Wednesday at 8:00.

Tuesday, the 16th, I spent some time with my Granddaughter then went back to the Radiologist's office at 11:00 for a planning session. I was fitted for the face mask that would keep my head immobilized during the treatment.

Wednesday, the 17th, I went up for the PET scan. I have to say that I like that hospital. The parking is cheap (in fact, this time the barrier bars were broken so it was free), and the staff are friendly. I had the radioactive dye injected, waited the 45 minutes then had the scan. It was a bit uncomfortable but it was over quickly.

Thursday, the 18th, I had a dental appointment at 9:00. I didn't really want one but the Radiology guy insisted on my getting a cleaning and a Fluoride treatment. I have a fear of dentists going back to my childhood but I did this and it wasn't so bad. Then I had to kill a lot of time before I had an appointment with an Oncologist at 2:30.

I was there about 45 minutes early because I knew there'd be paperwork to fill out. I got lucky and he saw me about 2:15. He asked a bunch of questions (which the nurse had done earlier) and did a quick physical. Then he explained what would happen. It won't be chemo but there will be a growth inhibitor injected a few days before the radiation treatment and will continue once a week until it's over. I'm not sure what to expect but I'll have to deal with it.

I have two follow-up doctors appointments next week and - I'm guessing - another one with the Oncologist.

Here I go again.

You Never Know…..


This past Thursday I had the throat scan done that my ENT wanted. They were going to fax the results and I have the picture disc which I'll drop off on Monday. I'll hear back some time later in the week.

Yesterday I was going to do some local shopping but it was such a nice morning that I decided to drive down to Monmouth County. I used to live down there and there are a couple of libraries that I haven't been to in a while.

The first one is in Hazlet.

I picked up a Shakespeare collection for $.25.

My next stop was the Middletown Library.

I picked up 3 Trade Paperbacks for $.50 a piece

I headed home feeling good.

This morning I went out early. I was parked facing down Claire Street (the side street just off Rahway) so I had to drive around the corner. That's when I saw this.

I passed by here a couple of days ago and there was a house there. Now it's a protected area for trees.

You never know.