A Slight Relapse..............

It's a funny thing but the older I get the more I dislike snow. Maybe because I live in New Jersey now. When I was living in the Bronx, I got around by bus or train so weather conditions didn't really bother me. Living in New Jersey, you really need a car to get around. That means that you have to clean it off - and, maybe, dig it out - every time it snows. And we've had three snow storms in the last week.

I really dislike snow.

Plus, the temperature has been below average. That means that the snow hasn't melted and, when the snow turned to rain, it turned to ice quickly.

Not a fan of that, either.

Today, however, the sun was out, and so was I. And I took the Flasher with me. I've been carrying it since Gordon visited me last week. It just makes me feel safer.

The side street that I was parked on hadn't been completely cleared, but I was fairly close to the corner, and the main road looked pretty good. Of course, I had to scrape the ice off.

I let the car warm up for about 10 minutes because it was so cold out. I checked my mirrors, then started to pull out when this plow truck jumped out of a nearby driveway and cut me off.

I've always found these guys to be a little too full of themselves. It's like they feel like I should be happy that they're clearing my street while piling up all the excess snow against the side of my car. And he didn't use his blinker when he turned right.

I pulled out and - using my blinker - turned right also. When we stopped at the light at Freeman Street, he was in the left lane and I was in the right. The sunlight on the snow created quite a glare. And I remembered that  the Flasher had an effect on car engines.

Point, press, Flash.

When the light changed, I drove away and he didn't.

That felt great.

I had a plan for today, and everything went well. I stopped at Shoprite and picked up some stuff for lunch and supper. I picked up the paper. I had breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts. I found a Toys for Tots drop-off at the Woodbridge Center Mall. You always feel good when things fall into place.

I headed home.

And then this idiot on a bike decided to cut across the street in front of me.

Thankfully, I was slowing down to make the right turn. I followed him around the corner. He stayed in the street, and I came up along side of him. Old habits die hard, and I'd been checking my mirrors. No one else was around.

Point, press, Flash.

He and the bike fell over and I continued my drive home.

Later on that day, I got the delivery of a Christmas present I had ordered. All in all, a good day except for ...

.. a slight relapse.

Withdrawal.................

This last month has been tough.

Ever since Doyle told me that there was a heightened awareness among local police forces about the possibility of a killer on the loose I've stopped staging Events. Don't get me wrong, I still go out every day - or at least every day that the weather permits - but I don't carry the Flasher anymore.

And it hasn't been easy.

At first, I tried not to notice people, but - to be honest - there are too many of them. And I'd gotten used to the hunt. The desire was like an itch - an itch under my skin - an itch that I couldn't reach. I wanted to scratch it badly.

 But I knew that I couldn't.

That's when I realized what an addiction was.

 I thought I knew  -I smoked for about 40 years, before I wound up at the hospital and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. It was easy to quit smoking then because I was in the hospital for two weeks and they don't let you smoke.

Anyway ...

It's been tough.

But, I struggled through it. And after several weeks, I've realized that the best thing you can do with your life is to live it.
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 I was out today and ... well .. the itch wasn't as bad. Or it wasn't bad enough to bother me.

I drove around, did some Christmas shopping, and went home. I got a good parking spot, took my stuff out of the trunk, and walked home.

I didn't notice that one of my living room windows was open.

I walked into my apartment, and heard the window being closed.

I didn't lock the door, but walked straight into the living room.

Gordon stood there grinning.

"Hello, Denny! How good to see you !"

It looked like he was twitching, but I didn't allude to that. I just put down my packages and turned to face him.

"Hey .. uh .. Gordon .. so .. How're things going?"

"Excellent, my friend! Quite excellent! " He started to pace around the living room - which isn't that big.

"I wanted to ask you, Denny .... I wanted to ask you ... umm .. why you stopped .. you know .. doing what we do." He paused and shook his head. "But then I got to thinking. Maybe .... just maybe .... you didn't want to do this anymore and I couldn't figure out why so ..." He grinned at me, " .. I decided to stop by and ask you why."

He went to sit down on the couch but couldn't. Instead he turned towards the window, twitching and scratching his right ear.

I decided to change the topic.

"What's going on, Gordon? ...You seem  .. I don't know ....kinda itchy."

He stood facing the window for a long time - still twitching - then turned towards me.

He became calm, but I could see the fingers of his right hand drumming against his leg. He seemed to have decided to change the conversation, too. He grinned at me.

"Denny .... my good friend, Denny --- you have the package I sent you, right?"
"Um .. Yes ... of course.".
"Good. If what I have planned works out .." his face took on a more sober quality ....".. this is the end game."

"What do you mean by that, Gordon?"

He walked towards the door, then turned around.

"There are things in play, Denny. I'm sorry that you're involved, but ...."

He opened the door ...

....  I hope you figure it out."

He closed the door.

I sat down in my chair and tried to understand what was going on. I was dealing with two people with two different agendas ..

Doyle warned me what I might be in store for ...

Gordon warned me what I might be in store for ...

..and I'm left dealing with both of them and what it means to have to deal with ..

... withdrawal.

Dialing It Back...............

Doyle called Monday evening, wanting to meet Tuesday morning. I told him I couldn't. I had a series of test scheduled at Robert Wood on Tuesday and wouldn't be available. Especially since the 10:30 test was a Dobutamine Stress Test which usually wipes me out.

We agreed to meet at 11:30 this morning at Merrill Park, in the first parking area on the right.

As it turned out, the Stress Test took 2 hours, but went well.
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I was up and out early. It was cold, but the sun was out and I was feeling good.

I've been on a dry streak lately. It happens sometimes. Some days there are no opportunities. Some days there are, but other factors enter in. These can be definable - like being too close to a potentially populated area or a person/car suddenly appears in the distance. These can also be undefinable - just a sense that there's something that could go wrong.

And there are my rules. I leave people on phones or people walking dogs alone.

And, to be honest, I've noticed an increased police presence in the various towns that I drive through.

Anyway, I headed up Rahway and turned onto Freeman. Up ahead was the dip in the road under the train tracks. That's where I saw this woman.

This is the same spot that I'd had my first Event, on foot, years ago. I lowered the passenger side window while looking around. We were on our own.

Point, press, Flash.

I continued on towards St. George Avenue, stopping at Shoprite to see what was on sale. I picked up some stuff, went home to drop them off, and headed to Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast.

I stopped at a couple of libraries and bought some sale books that looked interesting, including one that is autographed by the author. That's a pretty exciting find. I hope the book is good.

I stopped at my favorite thrift store and got three pairs of brand name sweat pants for $12. In this kind of weather, I wear them around the house and to bed.

after that stop, I headed towards the park. I got there around 11:15. Of course, Doyle was already there, sitting at one of the picnic tables facing the lot. I parked and walked over. He was drinking a coffee, and there was an extra for me. He stood, and we shook hands.

"It's been a while. How're ya doin', Denny?" He grinned, broadly.
"Good, Doyle." I couldn't help but grin back at him. "How's things with you?"

He sat down and gestured to the extra coffee as he picked up and drank from his. I did the same.

"Well, we're back to normal - if you can call anything we do normal - after the shut down, and the NSA problems have bypassed us lately, but now we  have the new Secret Service vice scandal starting to pop up. I guess it's always something. So .... " He drank from his coffee, "..How'd your tests go?"
I drank from my coffee, too. After all, it was cold out here.
"I should get the blood work results in a couple of days. I don't expect a problem with the chest x-ray. I admit that I was "pre-stressed" about the Stress Test. I even arranged for my son-in-law to pick me up because I remember my reaction after the last one. But, I gotta say, it went well. I sent a text to my son-in-law not to worry and I got home on my own."
"So, what's next?"
"Well, I meet with the doctor next week for my annual checkup. Everything should be good and he'll let me know if there are any other tests he wants for this year. I'm hoping that he forgets about the colonoscopy he mentioned last year."

We both laughed at that - me not as loud.

"So, Doyle, in case you haven't noticed, it's cold out here - even with the coffee. What's up?"
"Have you noticed that there are more cops around lately, especially around here?"
"Sure I have. I was even thinking about that earlier. Does that have anything to do with this meeting?"
"Yeah, Denny, it does." He drank some more coffee, then took a deep breath. "Someone has contacted local authorities about the possibility of a serial killer operating in the area. According to what we've heard, they've been pointed to certain 'coincidences' in deaths across several townships on the same day. You know what I'm talking about, right, Denny?"

I had to agree that I did. I could feel my heart amping up. This was worse then the stress test.

"So ... what happens now? Am I in any danger? Do you know who the informant is?"

He went to touch my hand, to reassure me, but pulled back. I understood. We're guys.
"You don't have anything to worry about right now, Denny, but it's probably best that you dial things back. You know, not so many in one day, space things out, that kinda thing. And .. No .. we don't know who the informant is, but I have my suspicions."
"Who? Who is it? Who do you think it is?"
"Gordon."

One word. One name. A whole lot of questions.

"Why would he do that?"

"He'd been incredibly active up until last week, staging Events across the entire state. Almost one a day, bouncing from one county to another. Then he abruptly stopped. Our shrinks think that he has some kinda agenda. They think he was trying to attract your attention by what he's doing because he thinks we're telling you of his daily activity. They think he's trying to egg you on into some sorta competition. But you've been kinda quiet lately, so he's changed his game plan. They think that he thinks that you've gotten bored and that the increased police pressure will energize you."

We both finished our coffees, and threw the cups into the nearby trash basket. I stopped noticing the cold about 10 minutes ago.

"What should I do now, Doyle?" I tried not to sound desperate.
"Dial things back. I know you haven't been too active but, when you get out there, you tend to do multiples. Don't get me wrong, we don't want you to stop. I think Gordon is trying to bait you, but I don't think he intends to hurt you. I think he's trying to get your attention. To counter that, I think you shouldn't do more then one Event on any given day."

He stood up.

"Denny, I'm not sure what Gordon is planning. I'm not sure I trust what the shrinks are telling me. I am sure that I can count on you to do the right thing.You have so far. And we still have your back."
He looked at his watch, checked his phone, then stuck out his hand.
"I gotta go now, Denny, but don't worry ... I've given clear instructions that you be monitored around the clock." He grinned again. "You got my word on that."

I shook his hand and he got into his car and drove away.

I sat there for a while, trying to digest the whole situation, but I couldn't get my head around it and it was getting colder. I got into my car and headed out also. Then I saw this guy.

There was no one else around but ...

I drove on by. Just doing what Doyle suggested ...

dialing it back.

Open For Business..............

I haven't been ... well... "active"... for about a month.

 Back then, Doyle contacted me and told me that DHS was putting all non-essential work - including our Project - on hold. They were pretty sure that the government was going to be shut down by the start of October and they needed to plan for that. He said that they were also sure that the "maniacs in charge of the asylum" wouldn't let us go into default so they expected things to go back to normal after October 17th.

I knew what that meant to me. There would be no one following me in the hopes that Gordon would make contact and they could grab him. (Of course, they don't know that he already has, and I haven't said anything about it. There's something else going on here, and I'm still trying to figure it out.)  I decided to put things on hold myself.

I got another text from Doyle yesterday, the 21st. Everything has been re-approved - largely because Jones wants Gordon badly. So, as Doyle put it, "We're open for business."

I headed out early this morning. It was the start of a perfect Autumn day, crisp and sunny. I drove up St. George Avenue intending to stop at the Shoprite. I was in the right lane heading for the turn off when a large truck made the turn from the left lane, cutting me off.

I got caught at the light, but found him in the parking lot easily enough.

He was still in the cab, and taking up too much space. I lowered my passenger side window and leaned over. It was early, sunny, and he was checking something on his smart phone.

Point, press, Flash.

I felt good. I went into the store but only brought the paper.

I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast, then drove through Iselin and into Colonia. I eventually stopped at the library in Metuchen.

Coming out the back door, I noticed this guy rooting around in the back of his truck.

I was on foot, and walked across the street - carefully looking around. There was no one else there. I got as close as I dared, then ..

Point, press, Flash ..

and I turned back towards my car, got in, and drove away.

My heart was racing.

I ran a few more errands and headed for home. I was going to stop at the Subways in Woodbridge, so I wound up on Chain-of-Hills Road heading back towards St. George. This is a winding road and around one of the curves I came up behind this woman on roller blades.

You have to understand something. I consider this woman a menace. She roller blades up and down this road, switching sides whenever she feels like it, and sometimes she just coasts in the middle. She always wears headphones, and appears to be oblivious to anyone else.

I narrowed the gap, being conscious of my surroundings and keeping watch for anyone else.

I passed her on one of the curves.

Point, press, Flash.

I saw her roll into the trees in my rear view mirror.

I was feeling great.

Doyle was right we are back, and we are ...

open for business.

While You're Waiting, Part 2 .............

I posted my last entry around 2:00  yesterday afternoon. Since then, some things have changed.

About 2:30, I got a call from the Director of the Woodbridge Health Department. She apologized for keeping me waiting, but she hadn't got all of the answers until just now.  They just got the pneumonia vaccine in, but the price is now $80 and it doesn't look like my insurance will cover any part of it. I thanked her for the call and hung up.

 There wasn't any reason to go into the misinformation on the flyer I had or the fact that a simple "I'm sorry but I don't have any information for you." return call on Friday would have been nice. I could tell from her voice that it wouldn't register.
__________________________________________________________________________________

While I was online researching something else, I decided to check the bookseller's site which has my recent order. I'd gotten an email on Sunday that the book had been shipped, but I've been burnt on this already.

Surprise!

I now have a USPS shipping number on the package that can be tracked from it's origin point in Flagstaff, Arizona. It's coming regular mail so I don't expect it until next week, still ... it's good to know.
__________________________________________________________________________________-

I was up early today. It was a kind of chilly morning, but the sun was up and I was feeling good.

I had nothing in particular to do, so I decided to treat myself to a breakfast at Perkin's. But first, I had a few things to do.

I headed up to Avenel. I wanted to check out a Laundromat there. I've been using one near my local Shoprite, but I'm not happy with it. This other place is not as convenient but I needed a change and I wanted to see what they charge. I stopped in quickly, checked it out, and got back in my car. As I was backing up, I saw this guy working on his truck.

 
The people in the Laundromat weren't paying attention to what was going on outside. The sun was bright enough to hide what I was going to do.

Point, press, Flash.

I drove to Perkin's and enjoyed my breakfast.

Still enjoying the day, I headed up into Iselin along Chain-of-Hills Road. This is a winding road and, in one section, has trees that cover the roadway. That's when I cm up behind this guy.

Sunlight filtering through the trees and no one else around.

Point, press, Flash.

I had no particular place to go, so I turned up Wood Avenue to Iselin.

I had my windows down, slightly, now. It was still crisp out, and sunny - just the kind of day I love. I was feeling great. Turning up one street at random, I saw this guy up ahead, standing in the street.

I had no idea what he was doing or why he was standing there. All I knew was that we were the only one's out here at the time.

Point, press, Flash.

I decided that I would swing back to Shoprite and pick up some New England Clam Chowder for supper.

It was gonna be another couple of days before my book would be delivered and ....

... you have to do something while you're waiting.

While You're Waiting..........

One of the things you can count on in life is that you wind up - more often then not - waiting for things.

 Most of the time, it's no big deal. Like Saturday, for example. I had a lunch date with my daughter and I had to wait in Red Robin a little longer then usual. Not a big deal because they sat me in a booth facing the door and I ordered our drinks. Plus, I had time to really look through the menu.

Sometimes, however, it becomes a big deal, and I've been trying to work my way through two situations that are taking more time then they should. Let me explain ...
__________________________________________________________________________________

Recently, I came across an article that Ian Mckellen would be playing an older Sherlock Holmes in an adaptation of Mitch Cullin's book "A Slight Trick of The Mind". I am a big Holmes fan and I immediately logged onto a discount on-line bookseller that I use. I found a Trade Paperback of the book and ordered it. Later that day I got the email confirm of my request and they charged my account. The next day, I got another email that they couldn't fill the order after all and was issuing me a credit.

At least I didn't have to wait.

I logged into another discount bookseller that same day, found the book and ordered it. Again I got the email acknowledgement and they charged my account. Two days later I got an email that my order had been shipped. I thought, "Hey, alright. This is gonna work."

Now, I had to wait.

 Not for long. Four days later they emailed me again. They apologized, but they couldn't fill the order. They refunded the purchase price, and gave me a credit to use towards a future purchase.

Now I'm in over a week, and I still don't know if I'm gonna get the book.

I logged into a popular on-line site, found the book, and ordered it. Like before, they acknowledged my order and charged my account. Again, two days later (which was yesterday) , I got an email that said my book had shipped.

Now I wait again.
_______________________________________________________________________________

The second situation is health related. This is the time of year that I start looking into getting a Flu shot. Also, this year, I need to get the Pneumonia shot. I live in Woodbridge and the Health Department usually holds a couple of clinics where they offer these at a discount. Basically, they would  bill my insurance for the Flu shot, but I wasn't sure what the process was for the Pneumonia one. So I drove over last Tuesday and asked. After about 1/2 an hour, no one could come up with an answer and they weren't even sure that they had the vaccine so they gave me a phone number and asked if I would call back in 2 or 3 days.

I waited until day 3 (Friday) to call. The woman who answered the phone remembered me but said that the Director would be out of the office for a couple of hours. She took my name and number and told me I'd hear back later in the day.

I waited.

No one called.
______________________________________________________________________________

This morning, I woke up early still waiting on these two situations.

I had some errands to run and didn't get a chance to call the Health Department until about 9:30. The same woman answered. She figured out pretty quickly that I hadn't gotten a call back. She really didn't have any information but she took my name and number again.

Now I'm still waiting and I'm frustrated.

I drove up through Avenel and into Colonia. Along Chain-of-Hills Road, I came up behind this guy.

My windows were up due to the chill, but I had the time to lower them. This is a quiet stretch of road, and there was no one else around.

Point, press, Flash.

I drove on.

I was heading towards the Post Office on Middlesex Turnpike, and then intended to drive to Target. Just past the MetroPark Train Station there are a few small apartment developments. On a whim, I drove through.

Having made a left onto one of the back roads, I suddenly came up behind this guy.

I didn't have a lot of time, I just reacted.

Point, press, Flash.

I skipped Target, and headed up to the thrift shop in South Plainfield. It was one of their sale days and I was looking for some sweat shirts. I actually picked up four, and headed down Plainfield Avenue towards the library in Metuchen. I made a left on Smithfield, and saw this guy standing on the corner just up ahead.

I was ready. I made the right at that corner so he'd be on my passenger side.

Point, press, Flash.

It took me a few extra minutes to get back on track and I stopped at the library. I didn't find anything interesting there so I decided to head for home.

Everything is still open. But, I am feeling calmer.

I guess you have to have something to do ..

.. while you're waiting.

A Different Perspective...............

Doyle called yesterday.

 He said he'd catch up to me somewhere along the line today so I should stay out until at least noon. This time, I thought I knew what this was about. Four years ago yesterday, we met for the first time down at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick.

That's when he proposed my involvement in The Project. That's when this whole thing started.

I began my day by stopping at the Main Library on St. George Avenue. There was only 1 other car in the front lot. A silver SUV on the right-hand side. I parked on the left. As I got out, I saw an older man standing on the grass to the side of the SUV, smoking a cigarette. I assumed he was the owner.

I walked up the ramp to the front doors, but they were locked. That's when I remembered that they don't open until 10 in August. Annoyed, I walked back to my car. I was all set to back out of my space when I noticed the old guy through my rear window. He was still standing there.

He could have told me that the library wasn't open yet, but he let me walk all the way there and back. I took a quick look around - we were the only ones there. I backed up straight into the empty spot between him and his SUV. He ignored me.

Point, press, Flash.

I drove on. I had some other stops to make.

I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for a blueberry muffin and a small iced tea, black. I had a book with me ("Night of the Hunter" by Davis Grubb) and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast.

I decided to start at the Target in Edison, and headed down along Chain-of-Hills Road. I love this road. It's a winding, quiet little stretch. Up ahead I noticed this woman.

I slowed down a bit, and did a quick check of my mirrors. All clear.

Point, press, Flash.

I spent about 15 minutes in Target. They had some small 3-drawer, plastic storage units on sale and I wanted to see what they really looked like. I ultimately didn't get one, but I did pick up some OTC meds that I needed.

From there, I drove over to the Barnes & Noble's in the Menlo Park Mall. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but I do like to browse. I checked the time when I left the store. A little after 10. I had to stay out for another 2 hours.

I headed towards the thrift store in South Plainfield that I like. I drove down Parsonage Road to Route 27, turned left, then right on Grove, and left on Oak Tree. I passed a small strip mall along the way and, on a whim, drove through. In the back, I saw this guy.

No one was parked back here.

Point, press, Flash.

I drove on to the thrift store but didn't go in. Today was one of their sale days, and I don't like dealing with the type of crowd that draws. I turned back to Oak Tree, took the left on Wood then the right on Inman. I was heading to Iselin and a used book store there.

This one doesn't quite have the ambiance of the one on Main Street in Metuchen, but I've gotten some great buys here and they know me well enough not to have to keep an eye on me. They also have this "Buy 12 Get One Free" thing that they do and I only had one more hole to punch on my card. I picked up a copy of "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" by Phillip K. Dick for $4.50. My next book there will be free.

I walked back to my car, and found Doyle leaning against it.

"Hey, Denny!" He stuck out his hand. I shook it.
"Doyle. Good to see you. How're things?"
"Same old, same old." He smiled, "Just wanted to bring you up to date on a few things."
"Oh? Are there things happening? Does this involve Gordon?"

He nodded.
"Yeah. It seems he's active again. Three weeks ago, his Flasher signal was registered in New Providence, up in Union County. Two weeks ago, down in Cape May. Last week in Trenton. He's out there again, all right."

I was quiet for a moment, taking it in. I thought about telling Doyle about the box Gordon had sent me, the unopened one in my kitchen, but I didn't.
"So .. you still can't find his tracker, only the Flasher signal?"

This time, he was quiet for a while. He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly.
"Denny, that about sums it up. We're still scrambling, but this whole NSA leaks thing has everyone's panties in a twist and I've been spending way too much time reviewing personnel records." He stood up straight, stretched, then slapped me on the back.
"And I didn't want too much time to go by without wishing you a Happy Anniversary."

He actually grinned. Then he sobered up.

"Seriously, Denny, this Gordon situation seems to be heating up. I don't know what that means or where it's heading but I got a gut feeling about it. Whatever he's planning is gonna happen soon."
"You think he's planning something? It all seems pretty random to me. Like ... you know .. what I do."
"No. Well, maybe. I think what he's done so far has been random but I have a feeling that he has something in mind .. some kind of end goal. I just can't quite figure out what it might be."

His phone went off. He listened for a minute or two, then closed it and shrugged.
"I gotta go, Denny. Look .. I don't know what Gordon plans on doing, so be careful, OK?"

I told him I would.

"OK. Well. Good to see you again, Denny."
We shook hands and he headed towards his car. Then he turned around and looked back at me.

He saluted.

Then he got in his car and drove away.

I got in my car and sat there a while.
I like Doyle. He's a nice guy who believes in his job.
Should I have told him about my contact with Gordon? This bothered me but I finally decided not to.

I owed Gordon that much.

Doyle had a singular focus on the situation.

I had a different perspective.