You Never Know ………….

Saturday, April 27th, started off as overcast and I was cranky when I got out of bed. I hadn't slept well the night before, partly due to the insomnia after-effect from the chemo and partly due to that whole Gordon/Doyle/Jones situation at the Library yesterday. As the day progressed it began to brighten up and so did I. While out driving around I decided to go back to the Library since their sale was still going on.

I wound up buying 6 more books at $.50 each which brought my 2 day total to 12 books for $6. Not a bad deal. Plus there wasn't an appearance from Gordon, Doyle, or Jones which made the day more enjoyable. Did I expect any of them to show up? Not really but you never know.

Monday, the 29th, I had an 11:15 appointment with my Urologist. The last time I was there - 6 months ago - my PSA Level was 28 and he was pushing for a biopsy and/or radiation. Since I was already gearing up for the radiation treatment for something else I put him off. This time my PSA was 15.8, almost 1/2 of what it had been, and everybody was happy. I have a follow-up in 6 months.

That was the last sunny day we had for a while.

Thursday, May 2, I was running some errands when I came across this.

I don't like drivers who take up more then 1 space and I particularly don't like these landscapers with their extra machinery. I was tempted but I decided against it. I would have to make a few turns to get into position and I didn't want to draw any attention.

Tuesday, the 7th, it was kind of chilly so I had a jacket on when I drove to Wegman's to check out their prices on a few things. Just before the Route 9 overpass I saw this guy.

Seriously? Shorts and a T-shirt? I was tempted again but passed him anyway. This time because I didn't want Doyle to think he'd persuaded me.

Wednesday, the 8th, was still rainy and chilly. I stopped at the Dunkin Donuts counter in Shoprite for a Decaf French Vanilla.

I was a couple of blocks away when I tried it and found out that it was the wrong flavor. She gave me Hazelnut which I don't like. I had to go back to get the right one. At least she offered me a free donut. I guess I should've tried it before I left the counter but I trusted them. You never know.

Saturday, the 11th, I had a 9:15 appointment with my Primary. She was happy with my progress and renewed a prescription for me which I took right away to my Pharmacy. They didn't have enough on hand to fill the 3-month request so I agreed to wait a few days.

Tuesday, the 14th, I was going to go to my Pharmacy to pick up my prescription and stopped at the Shoprite Dunkin Donuts again. I  ordered a large. I realized on my way that I'd gotten a medium. I picked up my meds and had to go back to get the right size.

 By Thursday, the 16th, the sun had finally made an appearance. One of the things I've noticed is that the sun also brings out an increase in street repairs.

These guys were replacing a wooden pole at an intersection that had a left turn arrow. Of course, they closed that lane to do their work which backed up traffic in the thru lane. I was frustrated but it was too open a space and there were too many workers to do anything.

Saturday, the 18th, was another warm, sunny day. I went out early because I wanted to check the washer fluid and antifreeze levels in the car. I couldn't get the hood open. As I sat there trying to figure out what to do I saw this guy.

I'm pretty sure he lives in the Senior Citizen's building just up the street. I've seen him before, rolling along in his chair, going back and forth to the local stores. Good for him, I thought. If he can do what he needs to do, so can I. Maybe the lever was rusted or maybe I'd gotten weaker recently. I'd take care of it.

Tuesday, the 21st, I had another follow-up with my Primary and I continue to improve. I swung by to see my Granddaughter and asked my Son-in-law to try to open my car hood since he's a big, husky guy. No luck. When I got home, I looked up the local Honda dealers and left messages. No one called back. There was only 1 thing left to do.

This morning I stopped at a few supermarkets to stock up on some things. I dropped these off at my place and drove to my mechanics who's pretty close by.

I told him what the problem was and he and one of his assistants took a shot at it with no luck. He said he'd check it out when he could which was what I expected. I left the car and walked home. I was hoping he could fix it and that it wouldn't cost too much.

It took about 15 minutes to get to my house and I was about to take off my jacket when the phone rang. It was my mechanic. He'd gotten the hood open. I walked back. When I got there I saw this other vehicle.

A black SUV. It wasn't there before and I noticed that there was no one in it. I was looking around when the mechanic came out. He showed me how to get the hood open which is now a 2 man job involving someone inside pulling on the lever and someone on the outside lifting the hood. We tried it together and I got the hang of it. He didn't charge me but I gave him $20. At least he could get lunch.

I put in the fluids I needed while continuing to look around. I was still looking when I drove home but I hadn't seen anyone go near the SUV.

Did I think Doyle or one of his associates was around? Not really, but you never know.

I Don't Know What's Going On …………

So far, the Spring Season has been a bust. The days are warmer but we've had more overcast days (and rain) then clear ones. On the plus side, the pollen levels have been kept down which is great for allergy sufferers like me

I'm feeling better - stronger - every day. I still have a ways to go but I'll get there.

Saturday the 20th I had a 9:15 AM appointment with my Primary. We rehashed the blood work results that she'd called me about and - for once - didn't give me any flack about anything. I agreed to a follow-up in 3 weeks. I drove away from her office on Progress, turned left on Grove, and left again on New Dover. I was headed back to Woodbridge and was almost there when I caught a Stop Sign. This guy crossed in front of me.

He was an older guy so it took him a while. I waited. I figured that if he was gonna push himself to ride his bike on such a dreary day the least I could do was leave him alone.

Wednesday the 24th I had an 8:00 AM appointment for Blood Work at my Cardiologists in New Brunswick. I went down early and got a spot in the garage next door. I was in and out quickly enough so that it didn't cost me to park.

Starting today, Friday the 26th, and running through the weekend my local library is holding it's Annual Book Sale. I have to admit that I look forward to this every year because you can't beat the price - hard covers are $1 and soft covers are $.50.  They opened at 9 and I got there at about 9:15. It's held on the lower level, in and around their meeting room. I had picked out a few books and was scanning another table when someone came up behind me.

"Don't turn around and try not to react Old Friend. Oh, and don't speak. I won't be long."

Gordon!

I stayed the way I was - still scanning the books - and waited.

He spoke again. "It's good to see you again, Denny. I'm impressed with how well you're recovering. I'm sorry I haven't been around much but I've had some other things to do. Be that as it may, I set off my Tracker just now for a 10 second burst so Doyle and his boys should be swarming around soon. I want to play again and I hope you'll join us."

There was silence for a few minutes and, when I turned around, there was no one near me that fit my recollection of how Gordon looked. I called Doyle's number but got no answer - not even the voicemail which I thought was odd. I sent him a text.

There was nothing else I could do so I continued browsing. I wasn't as into it as I had been but I did pick up a half-dozen books for $3.  Pretty good.

I left the library and walked right into Doyle and 2 of his Associates waiting for me.

"Hey, Doyle, I sent you a text! Gordon was just here!"

He nodded. "Thank you, Mr. O'Neill, I'm aware of that. Would you come with us, please?"

"What the hell, Doyle! What's going on? It's me .. Denny!"

"We know who you are Mr. O'Neill. Please come with us. Someone wants to speak with you."

I was confused but I didn't see any other choice. I followed them to the back parking lot where there were 2 of those ubiquitous black SUV's.

We approached the closest one but before we got there Doyle stopped me.

"Wait here please, Mr. O'Neill."

He left his 2 Associates with me and went over by himself. Just before he got there the rear window was lowered. He leaned in for a few minutes then turned and gestured for us to come over. We were about 3 feet away when the Associates stopped and I went on alone. When I got there, Doyle moved aside and pointed to the window.

"Mr. Jones would like a word with you."

Mr. Jones, I thought? THE Mr. Jones? This should be interesting.

 I walked up and looked inside but it was too dark to see anything. I was turning back when I heard the voice.

"Thank you Mr. O'Neill for taking the time to see me."

It was a strong voice but slightly high-pitched.

"I won't take up much of your time, Mr. O'Neill. I have a lot to do today so I'll ask you to hold any questions you may have until I finish speaking. We had decided to up our pursuit of Mr. Gordon because he's spent a considerable amount of time - as far a we can tell - in and around properties held by the President. This is no longer acceptable. We asked you several months ago to resume your work for us but have been disappointed that you have not. We were on our way here to speak to you when we got word that Mr. Gordon had actually gotten here first. What did he have to say, Mr. O'Neill?"

I told him. He waited a few minutes before responding.

"Good. That's exactly what we want. Please don't disappoint us."

Before I could object, he raised the window and the car's engine started. I felt the back draft as they drove away and turned to Doyle.

"What's going on Doyle? C'mon, I thought we were friends."

He looked towards me but not at me. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I apologize if you misconstrued our relationship, Mr. O'Neill. This is strictly a DHS Operation. We hope you'll do what Mr. Jones has asked of you."

With that, he and the others got into the second SUV and started to drive away, Doyle in the back seat. He seemed to be looking at me through the tinted window and I thought I saw a pained expression there. Wishful thinking, maybe.

I stood there in the lot for a while until it started to rain and the bag of books started to feel heavier and heavier. I got back in my car and went home.

 I made a cup of tea and sat down in my recliner in the Living Room, the bag of books left in the hallway for now.

Gordon shows up acting all villainy. Doyle show up with other agents acting as if we didn't know each other. Mr. Jones shows up (even though I couldn't see him) and basically agrees with Gordon.

Things have changed and I'm not sure why. To be honest ….

I don't know what's going on.

Things Are Looking Up ………..

March didn't end any better then it began. My Primary Physician didn't like my Glucose Level so she asked me to come back and she'd draw a sample herself.

Friday the 29th I showed up early for my 12 Noon appointment only to have her tell me that I was supposed to fast which no one told me. I agreed to come back the following week at a  much earlier time. I was annoyed but I needed to pick up some stuff and pulled in to the local Stop N' Shop. I bought their pre-cooked Shepard's Pie. It's a bit expensive but it's Family-sized so I can get 4 meals out of it. On the way out, I noticed this guy heading towards me.

I got to the exit just as he turned the corner. I was still annoyed but the angle was off and there was another car coming from my left. I drove by.

April, so far, has had more overcast/rainy days then sunny ones but at least it's been warmer.

Tuesday April 2nd I went back to my Primary at 8:45 AM for the Blood Work. It took her 3 tries but she finally got a sample she was happy with. Annoyed again, I drove home.

Wednesday the 3rd I drove up to RWJ Rahway for a PET Scan. I took St. George to Stone and turned left. That's when I noticed what was happening.

The trees were blooming which meant that Pollen would be swirling around soon. I'm gonna have to add allergy meds to my daily regimen. The Scan was faster then I remembered and I was done about an hour earlier then I'd thought.

Monday the 8th I had an appointment with my Oncologist at 9:45 AM. Turned out he didn't have the Scan results yet but he examined me and said that the area they were focused on looked really good. Tuesday the 9th at about 5:00 PM he called me. He had the results and there was no sign of the Carcinoma. I slept well that night.

Thursday the 11th was WaWa's Anniversary and their coffee was free.

I got a large, Decaf, French Vanilla. It was good but it got cold quickly. I prefer Dunkin's.

Monday the 15th I got a call from my Pharmacist. Their records showed that I had a scrip ready for renewal. I told them to go ahead with it. I'd gotten a little lax with these so I appreciated their attention to my account.

Tuesday the 16th was one of the few sunny, warm days we've had lately. I drove up to Walmart to pick up my scrip. On the way home I was stopped at a red light when I noticed this guy.

He looked like he was just out enjoying himself on a nice Urban Stroll. He made me smile.

That night at around 5:20 I got a call from my Primary. The Blood Test results were back. Turns out I might need to take Thyroid meds but my PSA Level is down dramatically. This was another night I slept well.

I still have a few other appointments with a couple of different doctors this month. I'm not sure what I'll have to deal with then but I've never had 2 Doctors call me personally to give me good news.

Things are looking up.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back ……….

After all of the hassles I had to deal with while going through the treatments, my schedule had lightened up in late February. I was looking forward to some quiet time and even thought I might get to sleep in a day or two. That didn't happen.

Wednesday, February 20th, I had a follow-up with the Radiologist at 9 AM so I headed out around 8. I was taking Green St. to Amboy when traffic was stopped by this Crossing Guard.

She's the reason I don't like these people. I know they serve a purpose but this women is arrogant and obnoxious waving her sign around and blowing her whistle. When I could finally go, I headed on my way but she'd thrown a damper on my day. At least there was nothing new at the Radiologists.

The following Wednesday, February 27th, I drove down to RWJ in New Brunswick. I had Blood Work scheduled for 8 AM and a meeting with a Nurse-Practitioner for 9. At 9:30, I started asking about my meeting and she finally showed up at 9:45. It was someone I hadn't dealt with in a long time and she seemed totally unprepared. I was surprised that she had some of my test results but annoyed that she wouldn't give me the important ones without checking with the doctor. Frustrated, I headed back home and stopped at Shoprite for a couple of things. That's where I saw this guy.

I wondered what he was doing way up there? Maybe the flag got snarled I thought.

Saturday, March 2nd, I had a follow-up with my ENT at 8:30 AM but I had to cancel because of snow. Of course, it melted pretty quickly.

I had to brush off the car but was able to get out and about by the afternoon.

Monday, the 4th, we had snow again and this time I had to do some digging to get out. Thankfully, they had cleared off Rahway Avenue and I was able to move my car to there.

Tuesday, the 5th, I woke up with a large blue spot taking up my entire field of vision. It faded to yellow in about a minute, then white. I went back to bed. When I got up again the spot was gone but I found that I couldn't hold anything in my right hand - I could pick something up but it would just fall out. Again, this only lasted a little while but the whole situation scared me. I wasn't sure which way to go with this so I spoke to a friend who recommended that I speak to my primary physician. I was able to make an appointment for the upcoming Saturday.

By Thursday, the 7th, I hadn't had another incident so I went out to pick up some food. Cutting through a strip mall in Avenel I noticed this guy parked by the side of one of the stores.

Judging by the remaining snow, he'd been there a while. He's not taking up any customer spaces so I drove by.

Saturday, the 9th, I drove up to Edison for my 9:30 AM appointment with my Primary Physician. I told her about the blue spot and the weakness in my wrist. She referred my to an Ophthalmologist and said I should get a brace. She also gave me a scrip for some blood work. I picked up the brace on the way home and left a message at the Ophthalmologist's. I made an appointment on-line with LabCorp for the blood work.

Monday, the 11th, I had a 1:00 appointment with my Gastroenterologist. His office is nearby and I cut through the back streets to get there. Along the way I saw this guy.

He was on the sidewalk and there was no one else around. I decided to leave him alone. As I drove past it occurred to me that I'd started to seriously consider Doyle's suggestion.

The Gastroenterologist checked me out and said everything looked good. We agreed to have the feeding tube taken out on April 2nd.

Saturday, the 16th, I went back to the ENT at 9:15 AM. He washed out the rest of the wax and said that everything looked good. One less thing to worry about.

Thursday, the 21st, I drove up to LabCorp for my 9:30 AM appointment..

They're in an Office Complex on Progress Street near my Primary. I had to wait longer then I expected but the process went smoothly.

Saturday, the 23rd, I was back at my Primary's office for my 10AM.  I waited for over 45 minutes before she could see me. By then, I was frustrated. She commented on my continued weight loss, insisted that I go back to using the food tube, up my banana intake, and add greens to my diet (peas, broccoli, cucumbers). She did have the test results and wasn't happy with my Glucose Level so she asked me to come back on the 29th and she would draw a blood sample herself.

Monday, the 25th, I went for my 9 AM with the Ophthalmologist.

I explained about the blue spot and glossed over the wrist problem. He checked me out and had a Technician run me through some eye tests involving lights. While these were going on, I started to see yellow spots, I could feel a numbness in my wrist, and my right leg started to shake. I told the doctor and he said that he didn't find anything out of the ordinary and suggested I see a Neurologist.

The next day, I called and cancelled the removal of the food tube. I also called my Radiologist to get a reference for a Neurologist. I checked out the name they gave me and his reviews were mediocre at best. I'll wait until Friday and see if I can get a name from my Primary.

I thought that things were getting better, winding down. Instead, it seems I might have some more medical stuff in my future.

Two steps forward, one step back.

It's Only A Matter Of Time ……………

What's that saying from the "Godfather" movies -  "Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in."? Well, that's what Doyle seemed to refer to when we met a couple of weeks ago. It took me some time to wean myself off of using the Flasher so that now I only use it on cars, busses, and such. I'm not sure that I can go back. But I don't have time to think about it because I'm still juggling doctors' appointments and I'm now dealing with side effects from the treatments.

Tuesday, January 29th, I got a ride down to RWJ New Brunswick. I was scheduled for an Echo cardiogram, a Chest X-ray, and a Bone Density Scan. The tests were scheduled in different rooms at different times but they went quickly and my ride picked me up about 4 hours later.

Wednesday, the 30th, I met with the Radiologist at 9:15. He said everything was looking good and I brought up one of the side effects I was experiencing. My goatee fell out early in the treatment along with the hair on the back of my head. My moustache was pretty much gone by the end. Now the rest of my hair is thinning rapidly. All he could say was that it happens some times. Not a lot of help.

 I drove down Jefferson and made a right on Inman. I cut through a strip mall on my way to the Oncologist.

I'm not a big fan of drivers taking up multiple spaces but this guy was parked way over on the side and I was in a hurry.

The Oncologist looked me over and said everything looked good. I discussed my side effects with him, specifically Insomnia. He gave me a prescription which I filled right away. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but at least it's something.

Monday, February 4th, I woke up with an earache. It was too early to call my ENT so I got ready for the day. Just after 9, I got a call from my Gastroenterologist that they'd have to cancel my appointment and we rescheduled. I called my ENT after 10 and got the answering machine. He's decided to take a Leave of Absence from his practice. He left a number and name for someone who'd be covering for him. I looked the referenced guy up but didn't like the reviews. I wound up getting a name from my Radiologist and made an appointment. That afternoon, I got a call from my Cardiologist's office. There were things going on that she couldn't talk about (personnel issues I think) and I agreed to move my appointment from the 6th to the 27th.

Saturday, the 9th, I went up to my appointment with the new ENT. His office was in a pretty fancy building.

He seemed like a nice guy and, after a quick examination, said that it was probably ear-wax buildup (a problem I've dealt with before). He prescribed ear drops, 3 times a day, and I scheduled a follow up for 3 weeks.

Sunday, the 10th, I woke up feeling good. I had nothing on the schedule until the end of the week so I decided to take care of some unfinished business. Back when I went through my transplant experience there were a couple of close relatives who had the keys to my apartment. When this whole cancer treatment thing came up, I checked with them and they both seem to have lost them. Under the circumstances, I decided to get replacements. I'd seen a machine in the front entrance to Walmart that would do it but I was a little leery about it. I drove to the Home Depot in Avenel.

It took a while to get someone to actually work the machine. I got 2 sets of the 3 keys needed and I picked up a couple of key chains too.

The keys to the vestibule door worked. The keys to my apartment didn't. They stuck going in and they wouldn't turn.

Monday, the 11th, I went back to the Home Depot. I thought they might try to rebuff the keys but they just refunded the money. My only option was the machine.

I made both sets and they worked perfectly.

Friday, the 15th, I had the rescheduled appointment with the Gastroenterologist.

He was a little late but he took a thorough look and liked what he saw but felt that I should leave the tube in another month. I was OK with that.

Yesterday I woke up early and irritable which, apparently, is another side effect of the cancer treatments. I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed because I had to go up to Avenel to let a friend's dog out. It's an arrangement that we've had for years. As I started out this guy decided to cross in front of me while I was stopped.

He took his time and I found myself getting annoyed. My left hand itched and I thought about what Doyle had said.

This morning I went to let the dog out again then drove to Shoprite to get my Lottery tickets and pick up a few things. On the way out I noticed this guy.

He was wearing shorts. There's salt on the ground in anticipation of snow and he's wearing shorts. I was really tempted but I drove home instead.

As I ate breakfast I realized it was only a matter of time.

There's Always Something ………………

My last Chemo session was on Friday, December 28th. As usual, I got there before 9 and left after 3. This time I made sure to get Breakfast AND Lunch. The staff I dealt with were friendly and efficient but I can't say I'm sorry to be out of there.

My last Radiology session was on Thursday, January 3rd. I was there at 7:45 and was done by 8:30. Again, great people but I'm happy it's over.

The Radiology office is next to RWJ Hospital in Rahway (where I had the Chemo) and they're located in a residential area. After my last session I drove around there a little while just enjoying my freedom. I passed by this woman out on her morning routine.

"Good for her.", I thought as I drove by, "She's free to do what she wants to now, too."

Of course, I still had some follow-ups to do. The first of these was on Monday the 7th with the Gastroenterologist who put in my Food Tube. I drove up Main Street and was going to make the right onto Amboy Avenue when I got stuck at the light. Because it was early, there was a Crossing Guard on duty.

I usually don't like these people. I find most of them take advantage of their Stop Signs and whistles because they get to control the rest of us who are just trying to get somewhere. Not this guy. Charlie - I call him Charlie though I've never met him. He understands how the traffic lights work and I've seen him hold off some pedestrians so that cars can make left turns. I tipped my hat to him as I made my turn.

The Doc checked me out and figured I'd have another month, maybe, before the tube comes out. I can handle that.

Wednesday, the 9th, I had a follow-up with the Radiologist. Everything was good and I even put on a little weight. On the way back along St. George Avenue I cut through a Krauser's lot which would get me closer to where I was heading. That's where I saw this.

I've seen other trucks take up more then 1 space. I've even seen school buses do it. This is my first Mail Truck. Since the only mail I get consists of junk or bills I had no problem doing what I was about to do.

Point, press, Flash.

I went on my way.

I had nothing scheduled for 2 1/2 weeks so my plan was to do short hops for food and just take it easy. That didn't last long.

Wednesday, the 16th, I was out. It was a bit warmer and sunny so I decided to go on a Library run. I picked up some coffee and a muffin from Dunkin' and headed out. I'd been to the Woodbridge Library recently so I skipped it. I was at the North Edison Library a little after they opened at 9:30.

There was nothing of interest there so I moved on.

I got to the Metuchen Library about 10 minutes before they opened so I sat in the car and finished my breakfast.

I picked up 4 paperbacks at $.50 apiece. That made it a productive day.

There was a potential snow storm predicted for Thursday night through Friday morning , the 17th to the 18th, but the forecast wasn't calling for much of an impact. I popped out quickly to pick up a few things. Turned out all we got was a dusting that was easy enough to brush off the car. The streets were clear so I headed out. That's when I got the text from Doyle.

I hadn't seen him in months but he had been in touch every other day or so during my treatments via texts and phone calls. This time he wanted to meet in a strip mall parking lot on Avenel Street. This was unusual since he was the one who'd pop in on me. I headed there right away. I pulled in and saw one of those ubiquitous black SUVs that seem to be popular with government types.

As I parked, Doyle jumped out of the passenger side and came over. The SUV was running. He got in and stuck out his hand. We shook.
"How're ya, Den? Lose weight?"
"Funny. I'd laugh but it would pull the tape around my feeding tube,"
"Oh .. sorry.. I didn't think.. I was just trying to make a joke."
I grinned at him. "Me too."

He laughed then I laughed. He sobered up quickly though.

"It's good to finally get to see you, Den. From what I understand the carcinoma is gone so you're 3 for 3."
"I guess you could look at it that way. I'm just happy it's over. This was really grueling."
"I won't lie, I can't imagine. But you seem to be bouncing back well. I understand the facial rash should clear up in another couple of weeks."
"Yeah, I'm using a topical antibiotic and it's looking better. Too bad I can't do anything about the hair loss."
"Sorry. That I can imagine and I sympathize." His phone buzzed. He looked at it for a second then put it away.
"I can't stay any longer, Den. We're heading down to DC. "Someone" has been busy tweeting again and we're very short-handed because of the shut down."
"Now it's me who can understand."
"There's another reason for going there .. Gordon has been active again. He's been popping up at various Trump locations from Florida to New Jersey. This morning his signal came up in DC. We don't have anything specific since he hasn't done anything but we can't be too careful."
"Wow. Is there anything I can do?"

He fidgeted a little in his seat then said, "Actually there is. We want you to go back to using the Flasher again. Not just on trucks or cars but … you know."
"Why? I've gotten used to the way things are."
He turned to look at me. "The shrinks think that Gordon went underground because you did. They think that if you go back, he'll go back. They think that after all this time he might get sloppy. It's worth a shot."
"I don't know, Doyle. I'm not sure I can."
His phone buzzed again. "Just think about it for now, Den. I'm sorry but I have to go."

We shook hands again - maybe a little longer this time. He got out, went to the SUV, and they drove away. I went home.

The forecast for Saturday into Sunday, the 19th into the 20th, was for a significant snow event. They kept modifying it so that by the time I got up this morning all we had was rain. Right now the sun is out. Tomorrow is supposed to be very cold so I think I'll just stay home and think about things.

You can get past some stuff but there's always something.

It's Almost Over Now …………..

The family took me out for breakfast late last month to celebrate my 10-year transplant anniversary. I was still having trouble swallowing but I thought that soft-boiled eggs might be manageable. Unfortunately, the waitress had no idea what I was talking about. She checked with the manager and came back to tell me they don't do them.

Someone suggested Poached Eggs and everyone agreed that they were just the same. They weren't. I drank a lot of tea. Then someone else suggested that I get a Milk Shake on the way home - it would be tasty and filling. I stopped at the local Carvel's for a Vanilla one.

It was great!

On the following Monday, after Radiation, I stopped at a Burger King's for a Chocolate Shake. It was OK but the Vanilla was better. That Wednesday, a friend stopped by with a Coffee Shake which I didn't care for. I was planning on picking one up every now and then when things took a bad turn. I developed severe stomach cramps which the doctor's blamed on the milk (I really hadn't had any for a long time). So much for Shakes.
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I had spoken to the nurses at the Radiology Office about the Food Tube and they set me up with an appointment for Friday, the 30th, at 2:45 which I would go to after Chemo. After Radiation that morning, I drove to the Hospital (3 minutes), parked, and went inside like I have been doing every Friday. I went to the Front Desk and told them I was there for Outpatient Infusion. They didn't ask for any identification or proof just gave me a badge to wear.

I could wander around the hospital all day and potentially steal stuff and no one would question me. And, when I'm done, I turn in the badge and they give me a free pass for the parking.

The Chemo went well and I made it to the Gastroenterologist on time. His opinion was that since I was so far along, I didn't need the tube. I mentioned this to the nurses on the following Monday and they just set me up with someone else.

I met with him and we agreed to do the surgery on the Monday the17th. 

 Starting on Monday, the 10th, a friend would pick me up each day for whatever treatment I was going to. This was a huge help because I was starting to tire very easily. (And she helped me do whatever shopping I needed to get done.)

Friday, the 14th, I was back for Chemo and this older man was already in one of the chairs and all hooked up. 

We were on opposite sides of the room so I didn't get to talk to him but I did hear him say that he was 94 and he was wearing a hat that said "Okinawa Vet". Every once in a while a life lesson pops up. I didn't feel so bad about what I was going through.

On the 17th, my Daughter drove me to Radiation then the Hospital. We parked in the lot.

I registered and we went up to Same-day Surgery. this is on the same floor as Outpatient Infusion so I knew a few of the nurses. They brought me up around 10 and I was back (after waking from the anesthesia) about 11:20. Then things went downhill. No one would tell me how to use the tube and I had to wait for a Dietician - which took an hour and a half. Then I had to wait for a Case Manager so a Visiting Nurse could come out to show me what to do. When he showed up - 45 minutes later - he said they wouldn't send anyone out for something as simple as this.

I wound up going back to the nurses at the Radiology Office who gave me the injection system and showed me how to use it. 

It's not complicated.

(To step back a bit, one of the reasons I agreed to the tube was because the nurses told me my insurance would cover the expense of the nutrition drinks. They won't. I have to make my own arrangements.)

I've been using the tube now 4times a day (roughly every 3 hours). At first, I spilled a lot but I've got it down pat now. This is how I see it.

I'll probably be using the tube for at least a month but my treatments are coming to a close. I've got 4 more Radiation treatments and 1 more Chemo. I am feeling stronger.

It's almost over now.